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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Enforcing Kids Chores?

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 7:01 PM
  • 19 Replies

Okay... first day here... first question... of what I'm sure will be many.

I'd like to preface this with saying that I do have two good kids... good grades, polite, kind, etc.  

BUT

They cannot - or will not - or don't care if... remember to do their chores!!!  I started working outside the home 5 months ago - they had me at home for 7 years working from home.  Now they are home alone for 2 hours after school.  It's a small town - good neighbors - they are perfectly safe.  All I ask them to do in those 2 hours is - in order - have a snack, do homework, feed & water the cats & dog, and clean out the dishwasher.  They have no problem with the homework or snack, but then they go straight to the "playroom" and watch TV, play on the computer, play on the WII, etc.  It's driving me NUTS.  

Any suggestions?  I feel like I'm raising irresponsible kids.  I don't just want them to do it - I want them to understand why it's important to fulfill your obligations, and that if you don't - there will be consequences.  I've told them this - explained that if I don't do my job I'll get fired.  They know that if they don't do well in school they won't be able to get into college - grades are important to them.  They just don't get the chores..

Any ideas would be appreciated!!

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 7:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Mar. 22, 2012 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would sit down together, write up your expectations so they can see it down on paper. Also, give clear boundaries as to what privileges will be lost if they don't complete the chores. Good luck and welcome to the group!

PurpleHazey
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 7:55 PM

What teen does?

 

millersmom13
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 8:12 PM

Start taking things away. Next time they "forget" to do their chores, take something away (Wii, TV, computer, et cetera) and lock it up. Each time they "forget", take something else away. Each time they do all of their chores for a full week, they can have something back. Sounds harsh, but it works.

greatmom0805
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this

In our house we have a list of chores each chore has a small price beside it ,,,,a chart to keep track of what gets done , If you to  do chores on each friday you receive your earned allowance , A tally is done and it works well 

If I have to pick up your stuff ,,,,,,its mine and I really take items and I make her  earn the return of them 

Taking care of your personal room is not a chore and I do not pay for her to keep it nice .....I don't do laundry unless its in the laundry room , But I pay 1,00 per load on the chore list ,,,you may be surprised how much laundry gets done ...an average of 3 loads a week ,,,towels ect which is just fine by me 

You can always take the wii controls to work with you and put a password on the computer so they cant get on it ! I have done this more than once she earned the controls back in 3 days Love that wii 

Right now I have possesion of a few good items including the privledge of computer use When I am ready I will remove the pw , she is living fine without it 

Giving in is something I have learned to stop doing . Even if tears come up I apologize and explain she created the situation not me ..She is catching on and last week she made 11,00 this week so far none She did remind me its spring break , but her room is ok or she knows I will take it if she leaves it on the floor ...I also make her save 1\2 her money 

Good luck to you 

My daughter is 12 

LancesMom
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:01 PM

welcomeNice to meet you!

Do you have a chart they can check off what they've done. Do they get an allowance or rewards for doing things? I would take away things for checks not made.

bobena91
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:05 PM

I told them tonight that this weekend we are all cleaning the house top to bottom.  Starting Monday if I come home and they are playing with something and the dishwasher needs cleaned out, I'm taking away whatever they were playing with.  They are old enough to know better.

They used to do so much better - but I was always here too.  I think they are taking advantage of being home alone, of knowing that dh and I both feel guilty about not being here more, and that we're tired when we come home.  We work long, hard days.

I'm still thinking about summer when they are home all the time - their responsibilities are going to increase a bit in order to earn that pass to the city swimming pool... I'm thinking mowing the lawn, scooping poop, etc.  Something to get them out of that stupid room, outside where it's warm and healthy, and active for goodness sake - I'm not raising two couch potatoes!!!

******

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
jamieforbus
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:11 PM
I suspend mines cell phone if they don't do there chores..... They don't like that so they make sure there done right after school my 15 year old does his before school!!!
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:22 PM


Quoting bobena91:

I told them tonight that this weekend we are all cleaning the house top to bottom.  Starting Monday if I come home and they are playing with something and the dishwasher needs cleaned out, I'm taking away whatever they were playing with.  They are old enough to know better.

They used to do so much better - but I was always here too.  I think they are taking advantage of being home alone, of knowing that dh and I both feel guilty about not being here more, and that we're tired when we come home.  We work long, hard days.

I'm still thinking about summer when they are home all the time - their responsibilities are going to increase a bit in order to earn that pass to the city swimming pool... I'm thinking mowing the lawn, scooping poop, etc.  Something to get them out of that stupid room, outside where it's warm and healthy, and active for goodness sake - I'm not raising two couch potatoes!!!

Good For You!    They live there, they enjoy the benefits you provide for them, the least they can do is help out.   Chores teach responsibility.    I agree with taking away the games.  




rkoloms
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:32 PM
Hide the powercords to the television
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bobena91
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:49 PM

You know what scares me... that I'm raising irresponsible kids.  I work with this girl that can't think for herself, and doesn't seem to get that her actions effect the people around her.  She leaves trash everywhere, never shuts doors or turns lights off, and I do NOT want my kids to turn out like that.  It's amazing to me how much more I think about it now that I'm around this girl... how much I think about the fact that I only have 5 years left to make sure my little girl turns out right.  Being a Mom is Scary!!!

******

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
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