Well, it's been 6 days now that my son has gone to live with his dad... suprisingly enough, I'm actually doing pretty good.... I talk to him everyday... most conversations are short and sweet.. seems as though he doesn't have much to say to me, but that's ok... he's had me to talk to for the last 13 years of his life... I just need to hear his voice and I know he's fine... He seems to be enjoying his time with his dad.. doing "guy" stuff... A huge part of me felt as though I wouldn't be a mother anymore if I wasn't taking care of my son, but with the help of group counseling and family/friends, not to mention those of you who lended your ears & hearts to me in my time of need, I've learned that no matter where my son is, I am now & forever, his mother... For the first time in my life, I have found myself making decisions for "me"... since becoming a mother, I've traded curled & decorated hair for ponytails, I've traded make-up for that all natural look, I've traded new clothes for second hand stuff so that I could focus and provide for my son... For the first time in I don't really know how long now, I actually bought myself a brand new pair of tennis shoes... the good ones from an actual department store in the mall... sounds funny I know... but some of you know exactly what I'm talking about... I'm not saying that I'm taking advantage of the fact that my son isn't with me and I can now be "selfish" so to speak, but I'm making the best of it... I deserve it and I can't treat myself as though I'm not worth it... I'm a good mother and want nothing but the best for my son but now it's his fathers turn to sacrifice and I can do so for myself for awhile without feeling guilty... I miss my son and I wouldn't trade any part of my life with him for nothing.... but at the same time, it's a good feeling to finally get to know who I am again... and treat myself without doubt or guilt... We are all deserving and need to feel like we're worth it....
I'm glad you are doing ok. What kind of guy stuff are they doing? When do you get to see him again?
I can actually see him whenever I want... it's hard because he lives in Illinois and I'm in Ohio... but visitation for me will be every other holiday and during the entire summer... plus school breaks... it'll be the same for me as it was for his dad.... He's learning how to use tools, working on cars... stuff like that... I miss him terribly but am happy that his dad has finally taken an interest in actually being a dad...



- teresarose1123
on Apr. 8, 2012 at 8:34 PM