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how do i get my daughter to take care of her acne

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I'm really frustrated....my daughter was going to a dermatologist and he helped her to clear her face up and her complexion wqas clear and beautiful. Gradually the acme came back and she admitted to Mr that she wasn't following the doctors suggestions. Well the acne has now come back with a vegenance all over her face and I find out that she is only washing her face once a day in the shower and that she isn't even using the facial soap..shes just using regular soap...how do I get her to take better care of her face...she says its too much work.
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by on Apr. 9, 2012 at 8:27 PM
Replies (11-20):
DonnaPinitonya
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 3:18 AM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, stop bringing it up to her.

I had bad acne, my mom took me to the doc... doesn't matter if you are trying to help or not but she could easily be feeling judged by you like I did. It made me not use anyting on purpose because instead of feeling supported I felt bullied by my own mom. She would try to make her point that she wanted to help and it pushed me farther away. 

Eventually I figured it out on my own, before I was even a legal adult. She needs to travel her own path. Don't feel sorry for her having acne, don't feel like a bad mom because she won't take care of it the way you want her to. She is growing up and this is not a big deal when you look at the whole picture. Give her time. 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:51 AM

I don't have a clue, I've struggled with my son doing this but I finally started giving him pore cleansing facial masks.  He hates them and started keeping his face clean on his own.

mdatca
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 10:29 AM

Maybe show her some pictures of people with acne scarring.  If she realizes that it could scar her for life then maybe she will care more now.  How old is she?  I can't imagine that she doesn't want to look good.  I am wondering if she has low self esteem or is depressed and doesn't think it matters cause she will be ugly no matter what so why bother.  Besides the washing is she on any of the oral meds they give for acne?  From what I understand some of them can cause depression.

FabDarling
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting DonnaPinitonya:

Honestly, stop bringing it up to her.

I had bad acne, my mom took me to the doc... doesn't matter if you are trying to help or not but she could easily be feeling judged by you like I did. It made me not use anyting on purpose because instead of feeling supported I felt bullied by my own mom. She would try to make her point that she wanted to help and it pushed me farther away. 

Eventually I figured it out on my own, before I was even a legal adult. She needs to travel her own path. Don't feel sorry for her having acne, don't feel like a bad mom because she won't take care of it the way you want her to. She is growing up and this is not a big deal when you look at the whole picture. Give her time. 

 thank you so much for this insight.

i too have a daughter with acne and just a little bit of lazyness about taking care of herself at all.  i always worry about why and wonder why cause she was taught and raised to fix herself up and be clean and put together. she watches me do up my hair and makeup every day and dress appropriately and watch what i eat and i always wonder why she chooses to not do those things.

What you said here rang a little bell in me - remembering how "I" felt when my own Mom would make a derogatory comment that  was supposed to be helpful - and how it made me feel  - and i sooooooo don't wann be my mom to my kids!!!!!

 

MSDIMOM
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:20 PM

HEY NO#1 MOM TRY EXPLAINING TO ER THAT SHE'S BECOMING A YOUNG LADIE AND TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT BUT YOU TELL HER MOM THAT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO TAKE CARE OF ALL PARTS OF HER BOBY.TELL HER IF SHE LETS IT GO UNTREATED SHE WILL HAVE PERMANANT SCARS AND SE TO MUCH OF A BEAUTIFUL,INTELLIGENT YOUNG LADIE TO JUST LET ANY PART OF HER BODY TO BE NEGLECTED.EXPLAIN TO HER MOM THAT IF YOU WANT TO STAY HEALTHY,POSITIVE,INTELLIGENT THESE ARE THINGS THAT'S NOT NEGOTIABLE IT'S A MUST.PEACE AND BLESSINGS!

FindersKeepers
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:29 PM

My 16yo boy was super lazy and got really bad acne.   I mean lazy... would go in the bathroom and run the shower but NOT get in.    I don't have a good answer for you... bc I probably didnt' handle it well.   Mostly a lot of nagging/yelling to get him to shower and use face wash in the shower.... and telling him to take some pride in taking care of himself. 

When he keeps it clean his skin looks really good.  When it is clearer I make sure to tell him how nice it looks.   He has been doing much better recently...  not sure if it was the yelling or him noticing that it looks better. 

loveishere5
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I have my girls put clearasil for theirs and it actually works wonders for them.

ayla91
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 4:14 PM

its her face. she will eventually get tired of being picked on/stared at and follow instruction. did you tell her that acne can scar her face?

momof6boys1girl
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 5:25 PM

 She has the tools and when she is ready she will. Let her make the decision. My first son I took to the derm. and spentover $100 on medications which he used only a few times. Finally I gave up. Left him alone and when it was his idea he did what it took and now he has great skin. My second son I let him come to me about going to the doctor. We will see how that goes. Just remember this is their time to become independent. Let them make the decision. It will go much better if they decide. 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 10, 2012 at 5:34 PM

I'm not sure there is anything you can do to make her take care of her face. When she comes to the realization that the only way to clear up the acne is by following the dermatologists directions she will more than likely step up and start doing it.

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