My son was hard to motivate at 13-14... 15/16 have been easier because we can use the privledge of driving as a motivator.
If he keeps a B average we will let him use a car and pay for his insurance. If he does not keep B's he will not. His grades went from D - B really quick when he got that we meant it. He had to start getting good grades at 15 bc that will be the report card that goes to the insurance for the 'good student' discount.
The other thing is that cell phone priveledges get locked down if grades are not good. On Verizon we can limit who the kids are allowed to call/text. Bad grades = only family in phone, no friends.
Good luck... motivating someone who doesn't care is one of the hardest things to do.
My son gets grounded, and things taken away. Spending a week at home grounded usually gets him motivated!! LOL His biggest problem is turning in homework, but he's doing well now. You have to stick to your guns, and make him do it. There's no motivating, you will get good grades or you are grounded!! (unless of course he can't because of learning problems) that would be different then.
We have an elaborate system for grade motivation...LOL.
Our sons would get bad grades because they would not turn in assignments and then end up with a bunch of zeros come progress report time. Now they know the consequences of these missing assigments because we are consisting in our actions. We haven't had to do this in several months because they gave up trying to "beat the system" and did what we asked them to do.
Our system:
If you have zeros you are grounded. No phone, no xbox, no computer.
Every friday you MUST (no exceptions) bring home a note signed by all of your teachers or a progress report stating that you have no missing assigments in order to get ungrounded.
EVERY friday thereafter to STAY ungrounded you must bring home a note signed by all of your teachers saying that you are not missing anything.
It really puts the responsiblity on them to STAY caught up and to take responsibility for thier actions. We started this in middle school and I am happy to say that I have not had to use this past middle school... yet anyway. I have a freshman and a senior now.
And we accept no excuses. Like "we had a sub, I couldn't get the note" in that case they have to bring the note on the next day the teacher is back at school.
Quoting bizzeemom2717:
They know that all privileges would be gone..phone, video games, computer, time with friends, ect. Also they lose all "school freedom" in that I would be emailing teachers, ect and getting all up in his school business.
Yes I agree, we do the same things, however we made our son prove to us he was caught up by bringing us notes signed by his teacher. It puts the responsiblity on the student instead of the parent. I would follow up with the teachers but not let my son know that I was. I wanted him to be accountable.
Rock their world. They don't leave the house, no computer, tv, friends or anything. Always worked for my dd that sometimes made bad grades. In HS it was her getting a car and keeping the use of it. HUGE motivation. Her grades went up and up during HS years actually. We just wouldn't tolerate and F ever so it they never got near an F. DD 20 got 2 D's in HS and I made her go to summer school to raise it from a D to a C. She didn't like that much.
Did he suddenly start to make bad grades or has he never really been motivated. Talk to him and the teachers. I always looked at my kids grades every single week online. IF they didn't turn something in they were in huge trouble and grounded. I don't tolerate a zero and never did. You have to turn everything in.
What motivated my dd was knowing I will not pay for summer school for a class that is free during the school year. She also knows that without those credits she doesn't graduate on time and/or with her class. So if she chooses to fail a class she will go to high school an additional year to get all of her credits to graduate.
My 19 year old daughter's boyfriend
- lovingmommywife
on Apr. 10, 2012 at 3:25 PM