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Help, Daughter got 2 drinking tickets at College!!!

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 I am so pissed right now I don't even know what to do!! My 19 yo not so DD who is away at college just informed me that she received 2 drinking tickets on two  separate occasions while at school!!!  This comes after receiving one in September!!  And now she tells me that she has to go to court because one of the tickets was given to her by police and the other one was from the school security.  I don't know what to do, I am livid.  We don't have the money to pay for her court and the tickets.  I told her she's basically screwed.  What do I do????

by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Replies (21-29):
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 14, 2012 at 6:52 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

If she was charged by the police with a minor in possession and she cannot afford an attorney, she can request a public defender who will walk HER through all the next steps the court needs her to take. SHE will have to set up a payment schedule with the court and more than likely have to find a job. She made a poor adult decision on her own, it will empower her and be a good learning lesson to deal with this on her own.

This!  

Yep, and if it was my dd, she would be responsible to pay for any fines she receives. She is choosing the behavior she needs to accept the consequences for that behavior.

kellysp6637
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 6:55 AM

 You let her face the consequences. 

The WORST thing you can do is to go flying in and rescuing her.

At some point, we have to make them own their mistakes.....and hopefully learn from them.

I wish you the best of luck.......I know it's not easy.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:09 PM

She isn't the first and she won't be the last...Sounds like a piss poor attitude but this has gone on in college sense the beginning of time...Those movies you see or those panty raids you hear about still live on in campus living.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:11 PM


Quoting kellysp6637:

 You let her face the consequences. 

The WORST thing you can do is to go flying in and rescuing her.

At some point, we have to make them own their mistakes.....and hopefully learn from them.

I wish you the best of luck.......I know it's not easy.

It's not easy, partying is a big part of campus living!

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:12 PM


Quoting mumsy2three:


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

If she was charged by the police with a minor in possession and she cannot afford an attorney, she can request a public defender who will walk HER through all the next steps the court needs her to take. SHE will have to set up a payment schedule with the court and more than likely have to find a job. She made a poor adult decision on her own, it will empower her and be a good learning lesson to deal with this on her own.

This!  

Yep, and if it was my dd, she would be responsible to pay for any fines she receives. She is choosing the behavior she needs to accept the consequences for that behavior.

Yes I am with you.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:13 PM


Quoting atlmom2:

She is an adult.  Make her deal with her ticket.  She is the one that got it.  IF you are paying for college you certainly can make her enroll in community college this fall but it may not solve the drinking issue. 

Great advice!

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:55 PM
She's an adult so she pays her own tickets and court costs. If she can't then she deals with the added consequences. Do NOT bail her out. If you do she will never learn. You are not responsible for her so there is nothing for you to do.
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MrsBLB
by Missi on Apr. 14, 2012 at 2:09 PM

Let us know how it all goes.  Good luck.

joshlor2
by Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 2:12 PM
Honestly she is a big girl and she was "old enough" to break the law several times so she needs to figure this out. Tell her to get apart time job and take her punishment like a grown woman.
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