Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Cuddling to much for a teenager girl?

Posted by   + Show Post

Is cuggling in your room with the door open too much for your teenager 14 dd with her 16 year old bf? Or even showing anytype of affection?  What is the norm allowed for teens today?  kiss hug?

by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:34 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 8:32 PM

I lost my virginity at 17 1/2, with my 19 year old boyfriend.

All we did at my parents' house was watch TV, etc., but we had sex at his house when his mother and stepfather were at work.

Luckily he used condoms every time, so I didn't become a teen mom.

I'm sure though, that my parents had no clue that I was having sex.

Quoting rkoloms:

Quoting DestinyGlasper:

Well my 14 yr dd Vanna has a bf ( he's 15). She is always cuddling, hugging, and kissing him. I don't mind it, as long as that's all their doing.

Unless you are with them 24 hours a day, there is no way to know if this is all that they are doing

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Susie on Apr. 15, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Yes. I wouldnt let my 14 yo have a boyfriend and not a 16 yo for sure.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Grumpy on Apr. 15, 2012 at 10:49 PM

Snuggling up on the couch watching a movie is one thing, cuddling in the bedroom is a definite no no.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 2:45 AM

My dd is 14, her bf just turned 15. He is her first bf, and she's his first gf, so they are still getting adjusted to the idea of dating. They are not allowed in her room, but honestly she has nothing to do in her room so there's no reason to be there, no game systems, tv, computer, not even music player. He has been in her room, but only to see her most recent paintings (she takes painting classes.) They stay in the livingroom or family room. They are allowed to hold hands or cuddle on the couch in full view of everyone. Luckily, his mother is one of my best friends and she's even more paranoid than me, so I know they are supervised at his house as well. Plus, they both have spying little sisters who like to monitor and report their every move, lol.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I am very new to Teenage Girls behavior...I am engaged with a wonderful man who has 3 teenage daughters...13,15 and 16! The 16 yr. old is very sexual....I have tried to talk with her about why she feels she needs the attention of the boys the way she does. Whenever she gets to invite a boy over she is all over them. I am not used to seeing that. I would have never done that in the house with my parents. But these kids are thrown into this very sexual world. All I can do is try to teach her about getting to know these boys better before she goes any further. And, all we can do is try to prevent them from making a BIG mistake, and rushing into a sexual relationship. She used to lie about her age to some boys also, she would try to date boys that were 18 and when we found out, she would lie to us. We would make her call the boy and tell them she can no longer see them and she was only 15 at the time...Some didn't like it she lied to them, and others didn't care. But we had to explain to her that she could get these guys into trouble, cause she was a minor. One was in the service :( we told her he could get into serious trouble for messing around with her.  All I can say is girls are much more promiscuous...and I just wouldn't leave her alone in the room with the boy. Keep her downstairs on the couch, don't give them the option...cause it will go much further, unless you are standing there watching them...What's that saying? Give em' an inch? LOL


by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 7:43 AM
2 moms liked this

Looking at my own experience, I disagree somewhat with some PPs thoughts. My parents were extremely strict when it came to having a boy over. I admit I was 14 and he was 17 (I was a freshman and he was a junior, but we met because I hung out with all the juniors because the freshman were mean to me and the juniors weren't) but my parent's rules didn't change when I was a senior and my bf was a junior (3 months younger than me) so I suspect it had nothing to do with the age of the boy. I was not allowed to do anything, not even hold hands or sit against my bf when he was over. I don't think my bf (either of them) EVER saw my bedroom, even from a distance. So you can bet I felt all free and like a rebel when I lost my virginity at 15. I hated being constrained so much, it would have been nice to have been able to sit against him on the couch or hold hands, maybe I would have been a virgin longer. He was a virgin too and it wasn't like he was pressuring me, it was a mutual decision. I did a lot of things during my teen years that I think I may not have if I had a little more freedom than I did. I felt like I was being treated like a primary-school aged child, like I was in prison when all I wanted was a little bit of responsibility and the ability to make some mistakes so I could learn from them. I love my parents...but they were too strict (until my sis was a teen...I paved the road for her!...she stayed out late, came home whenever she wanted and guess what...she was a virgin until she was 19!)

Someone said that parents of the past didn't have to deal with these things...not so! My dad (he's 66 yrs old) grew up with his mom (she was a social worker for Catholic Charities) running a halfway house for unwed teen mothers. In the 50's-60's! It happened...we just didn't know it because the girls were usually sent away to have the baby, give it up for adoption and then return after a "long trip to visit her dear sick Aunt Millicent".

Namaste! ~Serenity*
First mate to my Captain Asif
, Pirate mum to DAK (19), PIT (15) & Immie(<1)

We are a bf-ing cd-ing, bls, circing/vaccing organic family of Pirates
Hand-crafted Earth-friendly Natural bath & body: Selkie Sensuals

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:32 AM

A friend of mine allowed her dd to have bf in the bedroom and basically let the two of them do whatever whenever. Which is why there have been several pregnancy scares and her dd is not on birth control.   They all think I'm mean and controlling.  I do not allow boys in ANY room but the family room or the kitchen.  If i catch them hugging and kissing he goes home.  (that doesnt happen often though because she's not all that touchy feely anyhow.)  

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Quoting noTimetothink:

i was allowed to go in my room with my bf...most of the time with the door shut. my father didnt care, i was 12 when that started. but by the time i was 14 we found a way to "cuddle" and if my dad walked in on us thats what it would look like......unless he needed us to stand up then i would have been in deep shit. we would have sex all the time but noone ever knew....we were just "cuddling." so my kids are not allowed to have bf/gf in rooms. i know what i got away with, oh and no blankets laying on the sofa either. i was a good kid then but hey raging hormones and a hot bf and just even 10 min of being alone got the best oh me.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 11:07 AM

The door is always wide open, there is no under covers and I do frequent checks and they know it.  This is her first real bf and would rather they are open then see each other behind my back which we all know teenagers will do if they are not allow.  Time is limited since she is in competion dance and travel soccer.  I have had many talks with her but feel she is going to do what she wants to do anyway.  I have allowed her to go over the bf house with parents home, have met the parents and know the mother from my own teen years.   constantly instill what my values are and only hope she will take these in account.  Thanks everyone for the advise.  From all the post I have received I am not being strict enough with her.

by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 11:14 AM

Mine also has a 6 year old spying little brother.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)