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14 yo likes to "parent" his younger siblings

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:09 PM
  • 15 Replies

My 14 yo son has been stepping in to fuss at his younger siblings. At first I thought it was just with me where he feels the need to be "the man of the house", but now his step-mom says he has been doing it at their house too. She said that she actually got very annoyed with him this past weekend because he would "yell" at his younger sisters before his dad or she could say anything. Apparently he was also talking to his sister in a manner that was unacceptable. SM reports that his father told him he couldn't talk to his sister that way and that she several times had to step up and tell him to let her handle it. I know that I do this on a regular basis at home and I am so frustrated! I've told him over and over yet he still persists...Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bizzeemom2717
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:15 PM
I would sit him down in a calm moment, explain why it isn't appropriate for a brother to parent his siblings, then finally list the consequences if he continues. Make sure you follow through with them because he is bound to test your boundarirs.
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:42 PM
This is very good advise.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I would sit him down in a calm moment, explain why it isn't appropriate for a brother to parent his siblings, then finally list the consequences if he continues. Make sure you follow through with them because he is bound to test your boundarirs.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:14 PM

All the parents need to tell him the parenting needs to be by the parents, and not him. 

PinkieRed
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh God, does that ever sound like my 14 year old daughter! She totally thinks she is in charge of her 9 year old brother. I have to constantly tell her that she is not his parent, and that if she does something wrong, that I or Dad will handle it.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell him when he has children of his own, he can parent.   Until that day, if he feels like he needs more responsibility, you will be happy to give him some more chores.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 20, 2012 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Mine do it on occassion, only they do it to older ones too.  When they do, I ask them for the rent money.  They look at me funny the first couple of times and I explain to them, they are not the parent, I AM.  If they want to be a parent, then they need to grow up, get a job, get a place to live, get married and have babies for me to spoil.  That usually curbs it for a little while.

michelles
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 6:55 AM

This must be a stage...my DS is 14 and he occasionally tries to boos the 8 yo around! He gets like that with his cousns too! I just remind him that HE is NOT the parent and I am and when I need his help I will let him know!

PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 8:12 AM

My so Austin loves children so he has great parenting skills. He has said many many times he wants lots of children.

drfink
by Emily on Apr. 20, 2012 at 12:55 PM

Agree also

Quoting fammatthews4:

This is very good advise.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I would sit him down in a calm moment, explain why it isn't appropriate for a brother to parent his siblings, then finally list the consequences if he continues. Make sure you follow through with them because he is bound to test your boundarirs.


drfink
by Emily on Apr. 20, 2012 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting fantasticfour:

Mine do it on occassion, only they do it to older ones too.  When they do, I ask them for the rent money.  They look at me funny the first couple of times and I explain to them, they are not the parent, I AM.  If they want to be a parent, then they need to grow up, get a job, get a place to live, get married and have babies for me to spoil.  That usually curbs it for a little while.

GREAT ANSWER !!! Love it  ; )

Mine do this occasionally also....teen boys parenting a 21 y.o. college jr home for spring break...it is too funny but she and her older brother do it to them also.

I am going to steal your line the next time this happens .Thanks.

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