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This is why I go through my kids fb accounts

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 Do your kids have a fb account? Do you "monitor" it? How do you monitor it? Do you look through EVERYTHING? Do you read their messages from friends?

Well I do. Some of you may not agree with that but I just log on to her fb and she is talking to this guy and they are planning on sneaking out tonight.! I don't know what is going on with her?! She has a bad attitude with her step dad (my DH of course), she's lying to me (something she never used to do) and now she's sneaking around. I've grounded her, taken everything away from her to no avail. I don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Replies (31-40):
bizzeemom2717
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:25 PM
This

Quoting atlmom2:

Take the phone and computer away till she can respect facebook and your rules.

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LorennaL
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:35 PM
Sounds like I could have written everything you've written. To a T Although with the boy I had most issue with was 19& taking alcohol to the kids near the school. I reported him, but can't guarantee he isn't around still. The other boy turned 18 today. I've put her in YMCA counseling groups on top of normal
Counselor and a fun program she likes once a week. She lost Internet to her computer because she changed her Facebook password and I'm supposed to know it. Do until she fixes that, her computer is offline. I stopped working last year (have 5 month old now), sort of broke, but I'm home when the kids get out of school now and I know where she is and will check periodically (request a texted photo or meet her and check her breath while I'm at it)


Quoting smenjivar:

 Not that long ago asctually. Like a month or 2 ago. The reason I do check her fb is because she had been lying to me about her where abouts. She had been skipping practice and going to hang out with this same boy. I took away everything. hER PHONE, FB, TWITTER, she couldn't go to friends houses or go out with them. Didn't do any good because she's back to the same crap.


I just don't know what to do anymore.


Quoting rkoloms:

When was the last time you had a real conversation with her? Ask her why she is being defiant.

 


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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:58 PM

I do check it out on occassion.  Not often though.  They don't give me any reason to.

amckechnie
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:51 AM

I woudl first have the conversation with her about why she is sneaking around with this boy and not communicating with you. It seems like everything you have done to this date has not worked so maybe time for some serious business. It seems like somehow she has lost respect for you and your word?

I would let her know that if she leaves home without your permission or you knowing where she is going, you will report her as  a runnaway.......that will get her attention..... It worked for me:)  She should get a new respect for your authority, the police will tell her that she is a minor and is answerable to her parents until she is 18 years old...........she will also know that you mean what you say. 

 I would also tell her that you care so much about her, and  talk to her and also  you care about what happens to her and do not want her to hang around with the wrong crowd.

smenjivar
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:39 AM
4 moms liked this
I ended up just talking to her last night about it. She said she doesn't like him inn anyway other than friendship. She said he is her best friend and that she sneaks around worth him because she thinks I don't like him. I told her that as a person I don't know him Sup I can't say I like him or don't like him. I told her that I don't like his choices and that instead of encouraging her not to lee he does the opposite. I talk to my daughter about everything, she knows almost everything about me and she has alot of freedom. Maybe that's the problem. She said she doesn't think I love you her I assured her that is further than the truth. I told get I live her very much that she's my real life angel because she really did save my life. Before she came along I was so messed up and when I found out I was pregnant with her I cleaned up my act. I tolls her she made me want to be a better person and the best mom that I could for her. She also told me that I need to spend more time with her. She feels neglected. I work 2 jobs and I don't get to spend alot of time with them. So I told her I will work harder at making more time for them.

Quoting amckechnie:

I woudl first have the conversation with her about why she is sneaking around with this boy and not communicating with you. It seems like everything you have done to this date has not worked so maybe time for some serious business. It seems like somehow she has lost respect for you and your word?

I would let her know that if she leaves home without your permission or you knowing where she is going, you will report her as  a runnaway.......that will get her attention..... It worked for me:)  She should get a new respect for your authority, the police will tell her that she is a minor and is answerable to her parents until she is 18 years old...........she will also know that you mean what you say. 

 I would also tell her that you care so much about her, and  talk to her and also  you care about what happens to her and do not want her to hang around with the wrong crowd.

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chellfairy
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 12:42 PM


Quoting BEXi:

Maybe even video tape it... lmao catch it on camera so you can experience the DEER IN HEADLIGHTS reaction over and over again.


Hahhaa, while she is grounded you can go "oh hunny, I know you cant watch TV right now but you HAVE to see this......."

Quoting smenjivar:

 You are right :) I actually want to see the look on her face when I catch her. I was going to go home and talk to her about what I found on her fb, but I may just scratch that idea and go with yours. i can always sleep when I get home from work. Right? ;) lol

Quoting BEXi:

Ooh I know getting up early would suck. But can you imagine the look on her face when she sees you catching her in the act?! lol It'd be worth it to me. Whatever you decide, good luck!!

Quoting smenjivar:

 She hasn't done it yet. She messaged him today for them to sneak out tonight. That's a good idea to wait for her to sneak out and be waiting for her. The only problem with that is that I have to be at work at 6 in the morning. So she knows Dh and I would be asleep by the time they plan on sneaking out.

Quoting BEXi:

Oooh I wouldnt have said anything. I wouldve waited outside her window or waited on the porch (whichever way she was planning on sneaking out) and catch her in the act.



You did the right thing by grounding her. I think parents should definitely monitor their childrens social networking accounts.

 


 


OMG, I love you guys!! bowing downThis is something I would do. It's frustrating raising teens and to be able to have a little fun about it, kind of makes it more satisfying.  There are so many options with this predicament..

If you don't have a video camera, use a regular camera with THE FLASH ON!...

OR,,

Get an airhorn and blast it when she's sneaking out.  Heck,do both and  make sure you post the pic.  That would be awesome, then you could frame it and display it for all to see, titled,"BUSTED".  Have fun with this .sidesplittinglaughter


I almost wish my daughter was planning this so I could bust her.*(seriously, no.

All that aside, Keep checking her stuff.  I check facebook everyday and my daughter doesn't even have an account.  I know exactly what her peers are doing because they are stupid enough to advertise and shout to the whole world what they are doing.

Good luck!


yogamom16
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 1:29 PM

I dont let my son have a facebook or twitter account.  Luckily he is not interested in them at all.  I do look at his texts all the time to make sure there is nothing bad on there.

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 7:06 PM

What is more important, your daughter or your job?  I know both can be as important, but something could happen to your daughter & not by this boy, by someone else when she sneaks out, that you wouldnt be able to live with yourself.  Can you take a sick day?  Stay up, surprise your daughter if she still plans on sneaking out & both of you go back to sleep and spend the next day playing hooky and spending time with your daughter.  My daughter snuck out once and at home depot or lowes we bought an alarm that you can put on several doors & windows and the on/off remote is in the parents bedroom.  It is wireless.  Open the door or window and the alarm goes off in your bedroom and it is LOUD!  We have the alarms on the back & front door, her window & a couple of other windows that are easy to sneak out of.  This is cheaper than buying a whole house blugary alarm system with a monthly fee.  I dont remember how much it cost tho. 

blessedmom1978
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:22 PM

I monitor my 13 YO Sd's Facebook. If I found out she was planning something like that I would flip.

maceybug2233
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 11:43 PM
My fiance is in the military so if my kids sneak out you can bet dad will always catch them. Lol. He is the type that doesn't let his kids go out without a phone instead he blocks everyone but family. & they also get a good spanking by there daddy. then I yell& take everything else so they have a sore bottom& a family working only phone. But right now my son is only 1 my sister is living with us she is 13
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