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This is why I go through my kids fb accounts

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 Do your kids have a fb account? Do you "monitor" it? How do you monitor it? Do you look through EVERYTHING? Do you read their messages from friends?

Well I do. Some of you may not agree with that but I just log on to her fb and she is talking to this guy and they are planning on sneaking out tonight.! I don't know what is going on with her?! She has a bad attitude with her step dad (my DH of course), she's lying to me (something she never used to do) and now she's sneaking around. I've grounded her, taken everything away from her to no avail. I don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Replies (21-30):
BEXi
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:04 PM

Webcam and LIVE STREAM IT! lmao. just kidding! I know I am horrible.. my boys are going to hate me when they are teenagers. :P

Quoting smenjivar:

 LMAO! You are soo evil! I love it!!! Unfortunately I don't have a video camera

 

Quoting BEXi:

Maybe even video tape it... lmao catch it on camera so you can experience the DEER IN HEADLIGHTS reaction over and over again.


Hahhaa, while she is grounded you can go "oh hunny, I know you cant watch TV right now but you HAVE to see this......."

Quoting smenjivar:

 You are right :) I actually want to see the look on her face when I catch her. I was going to go home and talk to her about what I found on her fb, but I may just scratch that idea and go with yours. i can always sleep when I get home from work. Right? ;) lol

Quoting BEXi:

Ooh I know getting up early would suck. But can you imagine the look on her face when she sees you catching her in the act?! lol It'd be worth it to me. Whatever you decide, good luck!!

Quoting smenjivar:

 She hasn't done it yet. She messaged him today for them to sneak out tonight. That's a good idea to wait for her to sneak out and be waiting for her. The only problem with that is that I have to be at work at 6 in the morning. So she knows Dh and I would be asleep by the time they plan on sneaking out.

Quoting BEXi:

Oooh I wouldnt have said anything. I wouldve waited outside her window or waited on the porch (whichever way she was planning on sneaking out) and catch her in the act.



You did the right thing by grounding her. I think parents should definitely monitor their childrens social networking accounts.

 


 


 


                    

BEXi
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:05 PM

hahah yup!! see you know the deal! ;)

Quoting 02nana07:

 Me too then acted like I caught them by accident so she would continue to post and wonder how I kept catching her LOL

Quoting BEXi:

Oooh I wouldnt have said anything. I wouldve waited outside her window or waited on the porch (whichever way she was planning on sneaking out) and catch her in the act.



You did the right thing by grounding her. I think parents should definitely monitor their childrens social networking accounts.

 


rkoloms
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:18 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting smenjivar:

 Not that long ago asctually. Like a month or 2 ago. The reason I do check her fb is because she had been lying to me about her where abouts. She had been skipping practice and going to hang out with this same boy. I took away everything. hER PHONE, FB, TWITTER, she couldn't go to friends houses or go out with them. Didn't do any good because she's back to the same crap.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Quoting rkoloms:

When was the last time you had a real conversation with her? Ask her why she is being defiant.

 

In teenager time, this is an eternity!

You have to talk to your teen, at least every couple of days. Ask open-ended questions about project, her lunch table, who she traveled home with, etc. Please take the time to really get to know your young woman, and let her get to know you as more than her mom.

rkoloms
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:20 PM


Quoting BEXi:

Webcam and LIVE STREAM IT! lmao. just kidding! I know I am horrible.. my boys are going to hate me when they are teenagers. :P


 


 


 


This sounds like a great way to totally alienate your child. I suspect that this is not the goal. 

Just like preschoolers, teens react better to positive reinforcement than to punitive actions.

BEXi
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:24 PM


Quoting rkoloms:


Quoting BEXi:

Webcam and LIVE STREAM IT! lmao. just kidding! I know I am horrible.. my boys are going to hate me when they are teenagers. :P


 


 


 


This sounds like a great way to totally alienate your child. I suspect that this is not the goal. 

Just like preschoolers, teens react better to positive reinforcement than to punitive actions.

ooh that part was a joke. you dont think im serious do you?!?!

                    

JennyH66
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:34 PM
If the boy smokes pot and is brazen enough to post about it on Facebook then your problems are a lot more than your daughter sneaking out to meet him. Tie her up in the basement and never let her see him again. Although, you never know how he might respond if you sit him down and talk to him. I would try and even bring up the fb posts about the pot and let him know that if he wants to see your daughter he needs to clean up his act. This might do a couple of things. It might make him think about what he's doing and, depending on how much he wants to see your daughter, might make him stop smoking pot. Or it might make him decide it's not worth the hassle of having to follow your rules and he'll run as far and as fast as he can away from her. She'll be pissed for awhile, but maybe the next guy will be better for her. Or it could change nothing and she'll continue to sneak around and you'll have to find new and creative ways to catch her at it. But talking to them together shows that you respect her enough to try to handle it in a way that doesn't put her in the position of the naughty child who has no say. It gives her a voice but also gets your point across that sneaking around is not ok.
obx_Mom
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes I do. Normally I just just look at the general activity on the page from my own, but a lot of times they will forget to log off, so I'll do a little snooping around....  I've never found anything major. Just some language and some gossip. 

I also go through their phone, and they know that I do that. 

They don't know that I can't pull up their deleted text messages. They think I can summon their deleted text messages to my smart phone, and we're not telling them any differently either! One of their friends told them it wasn't true, but my kids told them, "you don't know my mom! She's got connections. She can find out ANYTHING!" lol!

MrsP23
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Facebook is a priveldge not a right (one I havent given my 13 y/o yet), Id say take it away! Im a big fan of taking away everything when mys on gets in trouble....xbox, computer, phone!! Those are his 3 lines to the outside world. That is how to hit him where it hurts!

If I were you Id take it all away and make her earn it back!  Good luck!

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:06 PM

 I was a teen once LOL

Quoting BEXi:

hahah yup!! see you know the deal! ;)

Quoting 02nana07:

 Me too then acted like I caught them by accident so she would continue to post and wonder how I kept catching her LOL

Quoting BEXi:

Oooh I wouldnt have said anything. I wouldve waited outside her window or waited on the porch (whichever way she was planning on sneaking out) and catch her in the act.

 

 

You did the right thing by grounding her. I think parents should definitely monitor their childrens social networking accounts.

 


 

peacheylady
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Thats what I was going to say to.

Quoting BEXi:

Oooh I wouldnt have said anything. I wouldve waited outside her window or waited on the porch (whichever way she was planning on sneaking out) and catch her in the act.



You did the right thing by grounding her. I think parents should definitely monitor their childrens social networking accounts.

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