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This is why I go through my kids fb accounts

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 Do your kids have a fb account? Do you "monitor" it? How do you monitor it? Do you look through EVERYTHING? Do you read their messages from friends?

Well I do. Some of you may not agree with that but I just log on to her fb and she is talking to this guy and they are planning on sneaking out tonight.! I don't know what is going on with her?! She has a bad attitude with her step dad (my DH of course), she's lying to me (something she never used to do) and now she's sneaking around. I've grounded her, taken everything away from her to no avail. I don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Replies (51-60):
smenjivar
by Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:51 AM
I am only working 2 jobs because i'm trying to get out of some major debt. DH and I want our own place (we live with his mother). Hopefully it'll just be for 2 years. I am planning a trip back home for my bestfriends graduation.I was going to go alone but i'm going to take her with me. She is into photography so i'm going to take her places where she can do that. I'm also going to look into the things you suggested. Let's see what my city had to offer. :)

Quoting woodswalker:

Im glad you decided to just sit down and talk with her rather than resorting to trying to catch her sneaking out.   She also told you how she really feels.  Thats great!!  I hope you do make more time to spend with her.  She will be gone before you know it.  Plan  a fun day or night out once a week.  Maybe you do have to work two jobs, but let  everything else go and just make time for her.  Watch movies together, go to Macy's and get makeovers, go out to lunch, do something adventurous like hiking, biking, kayaking....

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smenjivar
by Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:53 AM
I dint think his parents care. He's always wandering all over the streets, smoking pot.

Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting smenjivar:

They are the same age 15


Quoting Tea4Tas:


How old is this boy?  IF you ever catch him in her room, do what I did-i took my daughters door away from her-she still had a bedroom, but no door to that bedroom!  Took her a month to earn it back.



Perhaps they are just friends. What do his parents think of all of this?

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Tea4Tas
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM


Quoting smenjivar:

I dint think his parents care. He's always wandering all over the streets, smoking pot.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 


Quoting smenjivar:

They are the same age 15


Quoting Tea4Tas:


How old is this boy?  IF you ever catch him in her room, do what I did-i took my daughters door away from her-she still had a bedroom, but no door to that bedroom!  Took her a month to earn it back.



Perhaps they are just friends. What do his parents think of all of this?


That would mean he was in your home with pot..are you sure you want that? Perhaps you should tell him that friendship with your daughter carries some responsabilities..like not bringing drugs into your home.

OR letting you see or hear of his public pot smoking.  Maybe he will stop-more likely he will not, but you will have at least laid down clear guideline for him (and your daughter)

smenjivar
by Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM
2 moms liked this
Thanks! I think so too, but last time I posted that I go through her stuff and post on her page I was told i'm crazy and invading her privacy

Quoting MOMMYSLOVE13:

I do go through my kids fb page. I look at everything and even who is her friends list to see what type of friends she really has. It is not wrong it is right to do. She could have gotten hurt or even pregnant. Goo Job Mom! you rock

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smenjivar
by Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:01 AM
I dint know if you saw an earlier reply of mine. It might be on the previous page. He cane over yesterday and I talked with both of them. I told him that I didn't want him to have pot on him while with my daughter. I also told him and my dd my experience with drugs and how my life was sooo messed up. I told him so when I tell them something it's because I know what i'm talking about. He will be subject to a search before he comes in to my home.

Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting smenjivar:

I dint think his parents care. He's always wandering all over the streets, smoking pot.


Quoting Tea4Tas:


 



Quoting smenjivar:

They are the same age 15



Quoting Tea4Tas:



How old is this boy?  IF you ever catch him in her room, do what I did-i took my daughters door away from her-she still had a bedroom, but no door to that bedroom!  Took her a month to earn it back.




Perhaps they are just friends. What do his parents think of all of this?



That would mean he was in your home with pot..are you sure you want that? Perhaps you should tell him that friendship with your daughter carries some responsabilities..like not bringing drugs into your home.


OR letting you see or hear of his public pot smoking.  Maybe he will stop-more likely he will not, but you will have at least laid down clear guideline for him (and your daughter)

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MOMMYSLOVE13
by New Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:07 AM

 Then be the crazy mother that invades your daughters things. That way in the end your daughter will have a chance at making a life when she become an adult. Not playing grown up when she is still a child. Kids needs to think more and see more realities of the things that goes on at night.

Quoting smenjivar:

Thanks! I think so too, but last time I posted that I go through her stuff and post on her page I was told i'm crazy and invading her privacy

Quoting MOMMYSLOVE13:

I do go through my kids fb page. I look at everything and even who is her friends list to see what type of friends she really has. It is not wrong it is right to do. She could have gotten hurt or even pregnant. Goo Job Mom! you rock

 

whitedaisies
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:08 AM

my son is 13 and no phone or FB yet (i told him once he's in high school i'll think about it-he's in 7th grade now), i know what kids his age are doing with them, that's why!!! good luck, and continue to stay on top of things, they are kids, they don't need that much freedom

BaseballMom34
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Contact his parents..this boy sounds like he is in the wrong track.

Quoting smenjivar:

 I like the idea of including the boy, but I honestly don't think this boy will listen. I'm not making any excuses, but i was just on her fb page reading his page and all he talks about is smoking pot and whatever. My daughter swears up and down that she doesn't or hasn't smoked, but with the way she's acting I don't believe her one bit.


Quoting JennyH66:

Talk to her and the boy together. Let them know if they want to see each other there will be rules that both are expected to follow and that lying will not be tolerated. Seriously...he needs to know that encouraging her to sneak out and lie to you will mean no more contact and she needs to know that sneaking around and lying means a huge grounding and loss of all electronic devices and communication with him. Been there with my middle daughter. When something happens and i sit her down for a talk, the boy is included so they both know where things stand. What's interesting about this approach is that the boy usually agree to our terms and encourage her to follow our rules so they can continue to see each other. They are also more comfortable around our family and in our home if we include them in the discussion of what is expected and what isn't tolerated.

 

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MorningCoffeeMe
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 2:10 PM

 I told my daughter after finding out that she snuck out at night while sleeping over her friends house , that she can no longer be friends with that girl and if she does anything like this again , who ever she did it with , she will no longer be allowed to be friends with that person . And since alot of teenagers do all kinds of things at night  like going to parties and such by claiming to be staying over someone's house , she is very limited on who's house she can stay at . Also purposely check on your teenager unexpectedly when she goes somewhere and let her know that you checked up on her , that way they never know when you will pop up or check the story out . But I have also allow her to go to some parties and most contain drinking but I told her that if I can trust her to go and not drink while many others are , then she good go . And amazingly she has gone to many parties and as far as I know she has not drank alcohol because I don't let her go for to long of a time and she even plays Beer pong but her cup contains soda and she comes home telling me the bad stories of what happened to other teenagers while drinking and she is learning alot from seeing it . Everything is a fine line , but your teenager trusting you that he/ she can tell you anything is really key , and you have to bite your tongue on alot they tell you . I also see alot of teenagers who sneak out and say , I don't care if i'm punished , it was worth it , which is why  I've chosen the friend punishment , it also helps when the friend is pushing your teenager into do something dangerous , they will think twice if they know they could loose that friend . 

Sunflower7556
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 6:30 PM
2 moms liked this

 I do monitor my kids FB accounts and read their text messages randomly.  My son has to bring me his phone every night. 

I think it is great that you are watching out for your daughter.  Catchiing them making mistakes is how we get alot of conversations going. 

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