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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

This is why I go through my kids fb accounts

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 Do your kids have a fb account? Do you "monitor" it? How do you monitor it? Do you look through EVERYTHING? Do you read their messages from friends?

Well I do. Some of you may not agree with that but I just log on to her fb and she is talking to this guy and they are planning on sneaking out tonight.! I don't know what is going on with her?! She has a bad attitude with her step dad (my DH of course), she's lying to me (something she never used to do) and now she's sneaking around. I've grounded her, taken everything away from her to no avail. I don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Replies (61-70):
momtod2f1
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 10:46 AM
2 moms liked this

This was my exact question the other day. I can not believe some of the things I see on my daughters friends statuses. I can not believe some parents have no idea what their kids are saying and posting. 

10yrsapart9505
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Let her sneak out.....but you or dh (or both) need to be waiting for her wherever she is supposed to meet this kid tonight.  Sneak out of your own window to get there before her if you have to.   Then take her to a restaurant and explain to her that you are doing this so that both of you can have the opportunity to talk without yelling, fighting or overreacting about anything.  Talk to her over a cup of coffee or a latte or  about all the other young ladies that have been killed or raped and never seen their families again because they thought it would be fun to sneak out with a boy or some friends.  She's going to roll her eyes and be super pissed that you ruined her "adventure" but you'll have to ignore that and push forward.  Tell her exactly how you would feel if she were to become one of these statistics all because she wanted to be sneaky and have some fun. 

Ask her to explain to you why she thinks she needs to sneak around and lie to you  instead of being responsible and asking if they can hang out together after school or something.  Give her time to answer.  Sit there for an hour in silence if you have to.  Then explain to her that if she ever sneaks out again, you will call the police and report her as a runaway.  They will be the ones out looking for her next time, not just you.  

I was 12 when i tried my luck at sneaking out .  1st time -  I climbed out my bedroom window.  I got away with it and no one knew a thing about it.  So i was confident and got a big head about being able to outsmart my "dumb ole mom".  Second time, not so much.   There were cops and family and friend and sirens and people getting arrested...something i'll never forget.  THEN on top of all that, I had to sleep in my moms room every night for over 3 months...until she was CERTAIN that i wouldnt crawl out that window again.  And i never did.  There is nothing more humiliating than not being able to have your friends sleep over because you have to sleep with your mommy. 

monique76
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 3:40 PM
Stay up late the night she plans on sneaking out... Try to pin point the the time ..
amckechnie
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Its great you had the talk with her.....children need to know that you care and often we assume they know, but they dont especially when they are teens...there is so much peer pressure out there...good luck to your family. Its all about being in balance too...I was out of balance working a lot of hours a few years ago, and changed a few things over the last year or so. I work more from home and have been ther a lot more..it has made a big difference

momto52011
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:56 PM

not only would i ground her i would make it clear no phone, no friends, no go anywhere, no internet oh yeah they will be pissed, but that sort of behavior is not tolerable she sneaks out then what gets herself in a situation where she gets seriously hurt. do you have a local youth probation dept file a pins on her (persons in need of supervision) 

3monkeys2love
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:00 PM
My 11 year old has one mainly for games and to keep in touch with his cousins. I monitor it every day and there are times I have deleted some friends of his if I don't like what they say on there. I read every message and check every notification. That was the understanding when he asked for one and he barely ever gets on it anymore.
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PurpleHazey
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:07 PM


Quoting 3monkeys2love:

My 11 year old has one mainly for games and to keep in touch with his cousins. I monitor it every day and there are times I have deleted some friends of his if I don't like what they say on there. I read every message and check every notification. That was the understanding when he asked for one and he barely ever gets on it anymore.

Yes, I have deleted some post as well, I keep a very close eye on all my kids account.

dawnbradley
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I am my family's private detective. Snoop is ok.
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HotMamaRosie
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I would show up to meet him too and show her I mean business. When ur kids are that young its YOUR JOB to know what's going on. You have to know they are safe and they have to know your protecting them. I'd rather keep looking and have my teen think I'm not fair then miss something and feel like a failure bc I could have prevented something. Privacy doesn't ever outweigh safety.
misskim75
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:11 AM
1 mom liked this

I go through my daughters from time to time...The way I see it she is mine for 2 1/2 more years, and I have every right to know what shes doing and who shes doing it with.

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