OOPS,didn't put my story behind this yet-lol. I have a 16 year old son,who is my pride & joy! He is a good student,popular,althletic,sweet & loving! He is my BEST FRIEND! He has lived lived w/ his dad since we got divorced & was a little boy. I have a hard time letting him go& watching him grow up! I don't get a chance to see him often,but we text & e-mail often.I STILL think of him as a little boy & when we do visit,I am either extra silly(trying to be like a teen) or extra harsh! I feel like I have to be behind him in everything he does. I bug him about washing up,bringing a sweater,not eating too many sweets,not going w/ the wrong croud. I want to protect him. I have ALWAYS had frank talks w/ him about sex,drugs,etc. I feel we are very close. He will ignore me if he feels I am being to nit-picky! I just want his life to go the right way. I am SO PROUD of him,really ,he is ALL I have! I feel my life is built around him & scared that soon he won't need me anymore! I get SO NERVOUS just when he scrapes his knee! I don't want him to grow up,I DO hover a lot! How do you know when it's time to let go a touch? Thank you!
BTW-I feel like I have missed ALOT of his growing up! Can you actually"catch up" & try to be a mom @ that age? I feel that I don't even know what I'm doing & @ other times,it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world! I feel like I was put on the earth to be a mom! Also,I lost 3 other children to adoption,so that probably makes my grip on him even tighter. Thoughts? thx
I treat my teen like a teen, though sometimes I baby her. Don't we all need pampering once in a while?
If they act like babies then I treat them like babies. Other than that I treat them like young adults. They are my babies though and I give in and I do baby them at times lol! I admit it lol! I don't go over board though....and I've cut the apron strings!
I treat mine like teens. I can see where you are having a hard time. It'll get better.
I treat mine like the teens and young adults they are. At 16, they didn't get as much "parenting" as when they were younger - it's fantasic seeing them grow up into self sufficient young adults.
I would strongly suggest you find other parts of your life. Kids do NOT need you hovering as they grow up, they need to be independent."
Oh, you gotta let him be a teen and let go? I stopped freaking out over scraped knees in grade school.
Thank you ALL for your responses! I feel as though a HUGE part of me is being taken away! I am getting older now(38) & can NO LONGER have any more children. I feel SO GUILTY of NOT really being there for ANY of my kids!That's a whole different story,but MOSTLY due to my illness. I wonder if kids resent their parents when they try to come back in their lives @ an older age?I have tried to be involved,but could only from a distance. I believe he won't need me anymore,he lives all the way across the state too. I cannot work because of my disability & cannot drive. So,I am basically stuck here wondering how else I can fill up my life without worrying/thinking about him all the time.His dad doesn't really talk to me either.I don't know how to even BEGIN to let go! I guess I just long for things the way they used to be,simple & easier. : ( . I basically have NO OTHER FRIENDS than my son,but I don't want to push him away.Thank you
Honestly,I feel like he's ALL I've got left : (