OOPS,didn't put my story behind this yet-lol. I have a 16 year old son,who is my pride & joy! He is a good student,popular,althletic,sweet & loving! He is my BEST FRIEND! He has lived lived w/ his dad since we got divorced & was a little boy. I have a hard time letting him go& watching him grow up! I don't get a chance to see him often,but we text & e-mail often.I STILL think of him as a little boy & when we do visit,I am either extra silly(trying to be like a teen) or extra harsh! I feel like I have to be behind him in everything he does. I bug him about washing up,bringing a sweater,not eating too many sweets,not going w/ the wrong croud. I want to protect him. I have ALWAYS had frank talks w/ him about sex,drugs,etc. I feel we are very close. He will ignore me if he feels I am being to nit-picky! I just want his life to go the right way. I am SO PROUD of him,really ,he is ALL I have! I feel my life is built around him & scared that soon he won't need me anymore! I get SO NERVOUS just when he scrapes his knee! I don't want him to grow up,I DO hover a lot! How do you know when it's time to let go a touch? Thank you!
BTW-I feel like I have missed ALOT of his growing up! Can you actually"catch up" & try to be a mom @ that age? I feel that I don't even know what I'm doing & @ other times,it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world! I feel like I was put on the earth to be a mom! Also,I lost 3 other children to adoption,so that probably makes my grip on him even tighter. Thoughts? thx
If they act like babies then I treat them like babies. Other than that I treat them like young adults. They are my babies though and I give in and I do baby them at times lol! I admit it lol! I don't go over board though....and I've cut the apron strings!
I treat mine like the teens and young adults they are. At 16, they didn't get as much "parenting" as when they were younger - it's fantasic seeing them grow up into self sufficient young adults.
I would strongly suggest you find other parts of your life. Kids do NOT need you hovering as they grow up, they need to be independent.
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Thank you ALL for your responses! I feel as though a HUGE part of me is being taken away! I am getting older now(38) & can NO LONGER have any more children. I feel SO GUILTY of NOT really being there for ANY of my kids!That's a whole different story,but MOSTLY due to my illness. I wonder if kids resent their parents when they try to come back in their lives @ an older age?I have tried to be involved,but could only from a distance. I believe he won't need me anymore,he lives all the way across the state too. I cannot work because of my disability & cannot drive. So,I am basically stuck here wondering how else I can fill up my life without worrying/thinking about him all the time.His dad doesn't really talk to me either.I don't know how to even BEGIN to let go! I guess I just long for things the way they used to be,simple & easier. : ( . I basically have NO OTHER FRIENDS than my son,but I don't want to push him away.Thank you
Am I being unreasonable?? (long)
Really pissed because...
- mindybelle2003
on Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:54 PM