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No Going Solo to This High School Prom

School Bans Girls Without Dates From Going to Prom

Posted by Jeanne Sager

CorsagePop quiz time! Amanda Dougherty is 17 years old, and she just got dumped by her prom date. But her school has told her she can't go stag, because young ladies need a male escort in order to go to prom.

Now for the quiz part. Is Amanda Dougherty a 17-year-old in 1950? Or 2012? What? You said 2012? Let me tell you what you've won!

Your prize is to live in a world where the "war on women" that Fox is busy pretending doesn't exist is being waged against teenage girls, and their parents' attempts to teach them that there are more important things in this world than teenage boys!

Dougherty is a junior at the Archbishop John Carroll High School in the Philadelphia area, and the school is holding firm on its rules that girls need a male (come on, it's a religious school, that kind of goes without saying) date to prom. Fortunately for her, this 17-year-old girl has what every teenage girl needs: a father who understands that this type of patriarchal thinking puts girls back six decades. Jack Dougherty is fighting tooth and nail to get his little girl access to prom with the rest of her friends and without a guy on her arm. Yay Dad!

But I'm still floored that he has to fight this battle with any school, much less a religious one. And the way the school has referred to the prom as a "special social event" with this type of rules makes it clear that the school defines a students' worth based on their ability to couple up rather than something useful like, oh, I don't know ... their educational prowess, their behavior, their humanity?

Essentially, what a rule like this one does is undo all the work parents put into teaching their kids that there is much more to life than the approval of the opposite sex. Dating is fine in the teen years; I did it. I see nothing wrong with it. But we want to teach our kids -- both girls and boys -- that there is nothing wrong with being unattached, that their worth is in no way tied to whether or not they are home on Friday night or out parking.

I'd rather my daughter never have a boyfriend than date a guy because that's what society -- or backward school administrators -- are telling her she "has" to do. She's a person; her worth should be based on her, not who she dates (or doesn't). And the same goes for Amanda Dougherty.

What does this rule say to you? What would you tell your daughter if her school had this attitude?

by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:37 PM

My dd has two friends that are going to prom alone since they don't have dates.

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 It would be funny if 2 gay males took 2 gay females then hooked up with their real date once they got to prom.  Can you see I have an evil mind and find a way around the rules LOL

Quoting FindersKeepers:

It's a stupid policy that would not apply to any other 'grown up' situation ever.   Only teaching someone to be self-conscious about being single. 

Will students be able to attend their re-unions if they are single, or will those also be 'couples only'?

Any outing, dinner, wedding, funeral, event.... should be open to couples and singles.   And in this case they are requiring a MALE escort... so I suppose a gay couple could go, but not lesbians.  

 

FindersKeepers
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:53 PM

Sad reality is that they would probably be expelled from a school with these types of rules. 

Ironically.... It is probably better for kids to go alone.   Not having a date to prom would statistically help with abstinence. 

Quoting 02nana07:

 It would be funny if 2 gay males took 2 gay females then hooked up with their real date once they got to prom.  Can you see I have an evil mind and find a way around the rules LOL

Quoting FindersKeepers:

It's a stupid policy that would not apply to any other 'grown up' situation ever.   Only teaching someone to be self-conscious about being single. 

Will students be able to attend their re-unions if they are single, or will those also be 'couples only'?

Any outing, dinner, wedding, funeral, event.... should be open to couples and singles.   And in this case they are requiring a MALE escort... so I suppose a gay couple could go, but not lesbians.  

 


PinkieRed
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 5:33 PM
That's just disturbing!

My now adult niece didn't have a date for her senior prom, so she went with a group of girlfriends who also didn't have dates, and they had a lot of fun.

Whether the school made that rule to prevent gay/lesbian couples from going, or whatever, it's just wrong and unfair. What a way to make girls (or boys) who don't have a date for the prom feel like crap!

Maybe the students should boycott the prom, and arrange their own alternate prom to be held somewhere else, instead.
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mommybug77
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 5:35 PM
This is nothing new. My boyfriend in high school went to a school that would not sell single tickets nor tickets to same sex couples. This was the mid 90's though they still don't sell single tickets.
PinkieRed
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 5:39 PM
That's ridiculous that any schools still have that kind of attitude in this day and age!

My daughter will be starting high school this fall at a Catholic school, and I'm pretty certain that they do sell single tickets for the prom. I would be pissed if my daughter was not permitted to go to her prom, for lack of a date.


Quoting mommybug77:

This is nothing new. My boyfriend in high school went to a school that would not sell single tickets nor tickets to same sex couples. This was the mid 90's though they still don't sell single tickets.
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Playitagain
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this
My daughters school only sells singles tickets, they are close to $100, and 4 years ago they did away with aid to attend. Anyhow, seating is alphabetical now so kids don't even get to sit with friends let alone dates, they claim it encourages the kids to talk outside there comfort zone, a great idea if prom wasnt 4 days prior to graduation at which time most these kids may never lay eyes on eachother again. Plus most kids know people around them alphabetically, they just don't hang out lol. My daughter doesn't plan on going, nor do her friends my brothers theater is hosting a seniors alternative night with movies, games, and whatever he buys in vegas at the convention for theater and movie people this week. He also plans on having a couple athletes and somebody from tv he knows there for autograph. All money is going to help school prom aid funds that still exsit and the apraxia organization/ also a RAD support group, he always gives them money because my kids have those disabilities.
it was all dds idea because so many couldn't even afford prom, plus her school they dresses have to be super fancy or they aren't allowed in.
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PinkieRed
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 5:54 PM
Wow! Who would want to go to a prom like that???

$100 for ONE ticket, alphabetical seating, and dresses have to be fancy and expensive??? What, is it a dinner party at the White House or a ball at Buckingham Palace?

Who came up with those stupid rules? Certainly not the students, apparently!


Quoting Playitagain:

My daughters school only sells singles tickets, they are close to $100, and 4 years ago they did away with aid to attend. Anyhow, seating is alphabetical now so kids don't even get to sit with friends let alone dates, they claim it encourages the kids to talk outside there comfort zone, a great idea if prom wasnt 4 days prior to graduation at which time most these kids may never lay eyes on eachother again. Plus most kids know people around them alphabetically, they just don't hang out lol. My daughter doesn't plan on going, nor do her friends my brothers theater is hosting a seniors alternative night with movies, games, and whatever he buys in vegas at the convention for theater and movie people this week. He also plans on having a couple athletes and somebody from tv he knows there for autograph. All money is going to help school prom aid funds that still exsit and the apraxia organization/ also a RAD support group, he always gives them money because my kids have those disabilities.
it was all dds idea because so many couldn't even afford prom, plus her school they dresses have to be super fancy or they aren't allowed in.
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Playitagain
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 6:05 PM
The thing is the high school were we live is one of 4 in the district. There is a freeway seperating and top and bottom parts of the district. Think old school rail road tracks. So there are a few kids from the crazy weathly area that are in the bounds for dds school. While the school did the abc stuff, the student consule is mostly made up of the wealthier kids, because its almost 800 a year to be on that. Then its 500 per sport, so they tend to take that also. Its a sad state of affairs when the high school looks like the real work so drastically. The other schools have the same, although I heard one of the other schools is 135 per ticket.

Quoting PinkieRed:

Wow! Who would want to go to a prom like that???

$100 for ONE ticket, alphabetical seating, and dresses have to be fancy and expensive??? What, is it a dinner party at the White House or a ball at Buckingham Palace?

Who came up with those stupid rules? Certainly not the students, apparently!


Quoting Playitagain:

My daughters school only sells singles tickets, they are close to $100, and 4 years ago they did away with aid to attend. Anyhow, seating is alphabetical now so kids don't even get to sit with friends let alone dates, they claim it encourages the kids to talk outside there comfort zone, a great idea if prom wasnt 4 days prior to graduation at which time most these kids may never lay eyes on eachother again. Plus most kids know people around them alphabetically, they just don't hang out lol. My daughter doesn't plan on going, nor do her friends my brothers theater is hosting a seniors alternative night with movies, games, and whatever he buys in vegas at the convention for theater and movie people this week. He also plans on having a couple athletes and somebody from tv he knows there for autograph. All money is going to help school prom aid funds that still exsit and the apraxia organization/ also a RAD support group, he always gives them money because my kids have those disabilities.
it was all dds idea because so many couldn't even afford prom, plus her school they dresses have to be super fancy or they aren't allowed in.


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PinkieRed
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 6:16 PM
Wait, they have to pay $800 to be on student council??? Excuse my language, but WTF??!! Since when has it ever cost anything to be on student council?!

And $500 per sport is ridiculous too! I understand that most schools are "pay to play" now, but $500?! Talk about widening the gulf between the haves vs have nots in the school! I think that's really sad.

At the Catholic high school my daughter will be going to this fall (an urban school), there's no charge (that I know of) for any extracurriculars except for sports.

Sports are $300 for the 1st sport, and $150 each for any additional sport. But, parents can volunteer at an athletic event, to knock the cost of the 1st sport down to $150. Plus they do assorted fundraisers too, to help parents who are struggling to pay the sports fees.


Quoting Playitagain:

The thing is the high school were we live is one of 4 in the district. There is a freeway seperating and top and bottom parts of the district. Think old school rail road tracks. So there are a few kids from the crazy weathly area that are in the bounds for dds school. While the school did the abc stuff, the student consule is mostly made up of the wealthier kids, because its almost 800 a year to be on that. Then its 500 per sport, so they tend to take that also. Its a sad state of affairs when the high school looks like the real work so drastically. The other schools have the same, although I heard one of the other schools is 135 per ticket.


Quoting PinkieRed:

Wow! Who would want to go to a prom like that???

$100 for ONE ticket, alphabetical seating, and dresses have to be fancy and expensive??? What, is it a dinner party at the White House or a ball at Buckingham Palace?

Who came up with those stupid rules? Certainly not the students, apparently!


Quoting Playitagain:

My daughters school only sells singles tickets, they are close to $100, and 4 years ago they did away with aid to attend. Anyhow, seating is alphabetical now so kids don't even get to sit with friends let alone dates, they claim it encourages the kids to talk outside there comfort zone, a great idea if prom wasnt 4 days prior to graduation at which time most these kids may never lay eyes on eachother again. Plus most kids know people around them alphabetically, they just don't hang out lol. My daughter doesn't plan on going, nor do her friends my brothers theater is hosting a seniors alternative night with movies, games, and whatever he buys in vegas at the convention for theater and movie people this week. He also plans on having a couple athletes and somebody from tv he knows there for autograph. All money is going to help school prom aid funds that still exsit and the apraxia organization/ also a RAD support group, he always gives them money because my kids have those disabilities.
it was all dds idea because so many couldn't even afford prom, plus her school they dresses have to be super fancy or they aren't allowed in.



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