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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teen daughter moving way to fast!!!

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 3:17 AM
  • 35 Replies

 

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Question: Is it ok to keep secers about your children hyom their dads?

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yes

no


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Total Votes: 33

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I have a daughter who just turned 13, and is only I the 7h grade.  She has always had very low                 selfesteam that is till just recently. She got in trouble for piercing her lip in school, she does not get very good grades at all.  She is the oldest of 4 children, and she will do almost any thing to get attention. I just found out that at age 13 shes been having sex.  This was brought to my attention when I read some text messages on her phone. Both my sister and her daughter became young mothers and I don;t want  that for her. Seems instead of staying for tutoring after school, shes been sneaking  around with a boy. I want to know is it wrong to put her on birth bontrol at such a young age and is this o.k to keep from her dad?

by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 3:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
rkoloms
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:28 AM
2 moms liked this

Frankly, if it was my daughter, I would ask her if sex is pleasurable at that age. Does she have orgasms?

Put her on birth control. Find out why the school didn't tell you she wasn't where she was supposed to be. Talk to her, with her father!!! Ask her about her dreams and aspirations. Encourage her by sending her to enrichment classes that in subjects that she enjoys.

Find out why she is doing poorly in school, and get her some help!! She may have a previously undiagnosed learning disability. 

It sounds like she still has self esteem issues; having a boy want her is the only way she feels good about herself; THIS IS NOT NORMAL. Get her back in therapy; if she has never been in therapy, now is the time.

If you feel like lying to your daughter's father is the right thing to do, then the two of you should be in couples counseling, no matter what the status of your relationship is.

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Apr. 26, 2012 at 6:37 AM
Putting her in birth control is probably a good idea. As for not telling her dad, that's up to you of course. I don't keep anything from my husband so for me not telling dad isn't an option
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annie2244
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 8:04 AM

Wouldn't you be furious if your ex made a major decision like this about your daughter and didn't tell you? You need to do the right thing. Tell him. Join forces as much as possible with him on the management of her. I would set up a weekly phone call with him at her school with her school counselor and with her to review how things are going with her schoolwork, if he can't attend in person, have him phone in on speaker for the meeting.  I'd set up a standing time for a phone call with him later that day for you and he to go over the full picture of how things are going with her, not just school.

If it was my kid, I'd go online and list all the parochial and charter schools that she could move to next year. Now is the time to investigate them, find out if they have small class sizes, great discipline, and after school help, and feed to a high school or continue on thru high school. The more out of control my kid is, the more bad influences she has around her in her neighborhood and current school, the more I would want help to keep her heading in the right direction by getting her in a school environment that makes it hard for her to go off track.

She needs birth control as well.

You didn't say why you think you need to keep this from her father.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 26, 2012 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

No way would I keep something like that from her Dad.  Divorced or still married. 

She needs counseling.  She is wayyyy to young for sex. 

Not_A_Native
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Absolutely it is right to put her on birth control!  In fact, I would hope that you had previously had a good talk about sex with her, including about birth control, and that she had gotten HERSELF on birth control, but that probably didn't happen.

As for keeping it from her dad -that really depends on the relationship you have with her dad, and that she has with her dad.  I couldn't begin to answer that one.

Nykyria
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 9:19 AM

For us, we are a family that makes a decision together. We would put her on BC and have a discussion about what she is doing and why. Her father is the man in her life at 13. I would never think to hide something so important only to have him learn of it later and wonder what else I have hidden. 

lnrmom
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 10:42 AM

My girls' dad's are not in their lives, so I don't have to worry about that. But birth control? YES!! I'd rather be buying birth control than diapers any day. My girls know that when it's time to start worrying about that we'll get an appointment and get on it. We are pretty open like that though. They do not want to be parents any more than I want them to be parents. * shudder*

What you tell her father is a decision only you can make, but do not allow that to interfere with what SHE needs, which is to be safe. Tell her about STDs too, make sure she is fully aware of the risks she is taking.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2012 at 11:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't tell my husband everything, he has a tendancy to over react. I tend to judge his mood then go from there.


If your DD was mine there would be some serious house arrest going on. 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 26, 2012 at 11:28 AM


Quoting atlmom2:

No way would I keep something like that from her Dad.  Divorced or still married. 

She needs counseling.  She is wayyyy to young for sex. 

My thoughts, exactly.    Plus, I would put her on birth control.




ilovemykids323
by on Apr. 26, 2012 at 12:16 PM

 Def. put her on birth control and talk to her about how to use condoms and what not. As far as her dad goes I guess that's different in every situation. I would def. tell my DH. but I think every situation is different.

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