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My 13 year old wants to always spend weekends over her friends house

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she has many friends!  Every weekend she wants to go here or there.  I understand, cause we don't live in town we are kinda out in the woods and she has nothing to do here.  But I just want to know do you think it is bad that I let her go most of the time?  I do make her spend time with me and bf, but she is away most of the weekend.  Ugh, am I bad mom, or am I being tolerant cause I know she is bored?  We let her have friends stay over, but she says it's boring at home!

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:49 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:24 AM
1 mom liked this
While it is normal (my DD 14, would have plans every free minute if I let her) your DD needs to be building a relationship with you as well. Our rule is one sleepover a weekend, not 2 nights in a row and we try to make at least every other sleepover at our house.
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 2:45 AM

I used to be this way when I was her age also. If I didn't have friends over then I was at their house. And mine were the same way too. It's normal.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:32 AM
Have friends to ur house.
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:41 AM

These are great ideas, you gave me some great ideas.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Find a way to make it fun for her friends to come over for a sleepover. Do something out of the norm for you all. You could set up a scavenger hunt for them with a prize at the end. The prize could be stuff to do each others nails. Do a theme overnight ~~ costume party, camp out, reverse/revers(everything goes backwards) make your own pizza & movie. The more her and her friends want to be at your house, the better you will know your DD & her friends. Talk to her explain that you want her and her friends to enjoy being at your home.Ask her for ideas to help accomplish that. Throw out some ideas and work together.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:28 AM
It's normal mamma. My son was never around. He had many friends and stayed with them and they stayed with us. Once he started driving we saw him even less. Again he also had boys at are house. Not uncommon to come down in morning to 5 boys sleeping in my living room. Kids dont really want to hang out with mom and dad. My 16 year old still talks about how bored he is. Just always communicate with your daughter. My boys knew/know they can talk to us about anything and I always REALLY knew where my son was and who he was with
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:08 PM

 I spent most of my time during junior high and high school at a friends house her parents even wanted to adopt me LOL. 

 I just felt more at home there and it was the only time I felt like part of a family,  I am not sure what your daughters reasons are but if she is happy I would let her go.  She might just have more in common with them or maybe her friend is like a sister to her and staying there makes her feel like she has the sister she wants whatever the reason as long as she isn't doing anything wrong let her go.


by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 5:07 PM

 Daughter is 14 and is gone again this weekend! LOL. But I making her come home tonight because of a family bar b q. LOL. But her friend is coming to spen the night here. LOL. Teenage life!

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:03 PM

I have teens that want to stay here every weekend, I did it when I was a teen and I do think it's normal for all teens to do it.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:04 PM

Quoting LoveLiz:

 Daughter is 14 and is gone again this weekend! LOL. But I making her come home tonight because of a family bar b q. LOL. But her friend is coming to spen the night here. LOL. Teenage life!

It sure is teenage life.

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:02 PM

Quoting FindersKeepers:
I like what your saying and I deff see what your saying.  I'm glad you could share that with me, cause I was wondering how it might affect our relationship.  I was just talking to my fiance about what we could do together and how concerned I am that she doesn't want to be around us.  We are planning somethings to do with her and her friends, so they will want to be here at our house for a change.

My sister in law always let my neice go to friends houses.... from age 13 through high school.    Niece never had to be home even if there was company, didn't have to be home for dinner, didn't have to make sure she was home for holidays or attend any family events (like weddings).   If she wanted to be with her friends, her mom always said yes (unless she was in trouble). 

My niece was a great young lady, and was thankfully self-disciplined with well behaved friends.   She had tons of opportunity to get into trouble and for the most part didn't.   She married right out of high school (which is not the norm in my state) and has basically absorbed into her husband's family.   She is in college, doing great and we are very proud of her...... but we don't really KNOW her.   She is nearly 20 now and has not been to a family function for more than 10-30 min since she was 12.   

Honestly it makes me sad.  Any time we see her it is like a flash of 10 minutes in and out.  She didn't build relationships/connections within our family because she was never required to participate in the family.   She built her connections with friends and boyfriends (and their families).   She was close to my kids when they were younger, but now they don't really have any relationship at all.  

IMO.... if you always let your DD go, then you are not building a relationship for the future.   Part of being a family is doing things as a family and being there for family gatherings/events (even if it is dinner).   If you DD is always gone, then you don't have that chance.    "Family comes first".... was the rule in our house.

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