Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pending breakup

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:14 PM
  • 23 Replies

My daughter is 18 yrs old. Her boyfriend  and his friend moved in with us in February of this year, they would have been homeless otherwise. Her boyfriend confided in me this am that his feelings for her have changed and he wants to be friends with her like they were before they dated but he doesn't want to be her boyfriend anymore. He has no one else to live. I like him and his friend and don't want to kick them out. What do I do? My daughter comes first but this guy has been through a lot and we are close. He calls me mom. My daughter doesn't know whats coming, though I know she's not been happy with some of his behavior lately. Any suggestions what to do? These guys don't even have jobs yet.(they moved across state to live with us).

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
karmadrea
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:18 PM
He's 18 why don't they have jobs? Give them a month to move out together those boys can afford a place. If your daughter finds out you know
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
karmadrea
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:19 PM
She might not be able to trust you anymore
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:55 PM

You are in quite a pickle!   Perhaps you can have a private chat with your daughter and suggest she cool things down a bit until the guys are out on their own...

The guys need to find jobs ASAP and get out on their own.   Maybe you can help them find a place of their own.




atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 27, 2012 at 9:13 PM

I wouldn't have taken them in but since you have already, I would probably give them time to save some money and move out.  Sounds like the guys are moochers.  They could be working at a fast food joint at least.  He needs to break up with your dd asap.  I wouldn't allow a charade in my home either. 

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 27, 2012 at 9:16 PM

Oh, How did your dd meet a guy that had to move across state lines to live with you?

hulbertzoo
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:39 PM

They already talked tonight. I can't go into it right now. Actually he moved across the state, not state lines. His dad (a real piece of work) cleaned the kid out of all his money and his truck, then kicked him out. We offerred him to stay until he gets on his feet. He doesn't plan on staying any longer than he needs. Oh, and mom told him to leave when he was a senior in high school because he didn't want to go to the college she chose for him. He did stay in the area long enough to at least complete high school, which no family members bothered to acknowledge.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:17 AM
1 mom liked this

They are 18, moved there 2 months ago and haven't found jobs?  As far as him staying in your house, they would have had to find jobs asap!  What have they been doing?  This kid is not your kid, not your responsibility, and not your problem no matter how bad he's had it.  Your daughter comes first.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:19 AM
1 mom liked this
I know of others this has happened to and are in a similar situation (reason I will never let someone in a relationship with one of my children move in.) Your DD absolutely comes first, if she is uncomfortable with him living there, then he is an adult and needs to find somewhere else to live. If not give him a few weeks max to make some other living arrangements
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mik1of3
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Where are these boys' parents?  Send them home...or to the local Y.  If they are 18 years old, you don't have much control over where they go and what they do anyway. 
I know you care about them, but your DD is more important, and she is going to be SO pissed if/when she finds out you knew what was about to happen and was more worried about HIM than her. 

rkoloms
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:37 AM

Those boys are 18, and can get jobs and a place to live. Terminate their lease, and send them on the way. They can contact social services agencies, and find a shelter

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)