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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Hi everyone.  My name is Trisha.  I am brand new to the group and looking for advice. 

I am a 36 year old single mother of 3.  My oldest son is 16 (will be 17 in June) my daughter is 14, and my youngest son is 10. 

Things haven't been easy for my family.  I've been through two divorces, and here lately it seems like we are constantly moving.  My youngest son has type 1 diabetes, and I am a fulltime student, I also work full time. 

My daughter is having serious problems.  I have tried talking to her, and I have tried getting her counseling.  The psychiatrist I took her to said she is "mildly" depressed, but nothing that should cause concern, but what I see is my daughter taking a razor blade to her arms.  She has recently started cutting.  I don't know why.  When I ask her she says it's because I cause her too much stress, and when I ask her what I can do to cause her less stress she says that I can leave her alone. 

I'm at my wits end...I don't know what to do. 

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:35 PM
Replies (31-33):
saveabrain
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

   I would take her to the ER the next time she cuts. They will call in a psych evaluation and get her the help she needs.

Hi Trisha, lucky2Beeme is correct with this.  Cutting is a very serious response to stress along with the way you describe her handling relationships with male strangers.  Also, her demands of buying things for her is a distraction from the stressors that have overwhelmed her system.

It sounds like you and your family have gone through extremely stressful changes and she is responding to it.  Your daughter loves you and that is why she is demonstrating these behaviors in front of you - because unconsciously she knows you are the one who will listen and help her.  She may be almost 17 in age, but her mind right now is younger and she needs her mother and you are there (and always have been and always will be from what I see).

I think you're right about the school at the moment, but continue to check in with them to find out if they're seeing any behaviors because you would be surprised as to how much teachers and staff don't notice not because they don't care, but because they don't know your daughter so is the behavior typical, is she just adjusting, etc.

You sound like you have a great pediatrician and that was a great call.

It may or may not seem like it, but you are clearly a strong and loving woman and parent.

chloesmommy777
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:09 PM

I like your idea about spending one-on-one time with her. Keep tabs on her and remain strong and calm, yet firm. That's all you can do (besides seeking professional help!)

Trisha42276
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 10:21 AM

Hi everyone, I know it's been a long time since I responded to any posts on here, and the reason for that is that my life was turned upside down and shaken the day after I posted this. 

So here's what happened. 

Earlier in the post I mentioned that I emailed the pediatrician to see what she thought.   She started asking me questions about things that might have happened to cause this.  I started looking deeper into my daughters behavior and decided it was time to take a look at her facebook messages, just to see if there was something I was missing.  While looking through the messages I found a message to her boyfriend telling of a couple of incidents where my son had molested her.  I couldn't believe it.  I talked to her privately about it and she was adament that it happened, I talked to my son about it and he was adament that it didn't happen.  I feel like I did the most horrible mom in the world, but I didn't know what else to do.  I had to  talk to the pediatrician about it and I knew that she would be required to report it.  When the police showed up at my house my son admitted to everything.  My poor little girl.  I feel like I have let her down.  And my son, I am trying not to be angry with him.  I was required to find him a place to live immediately or he would go to the state, so he went to stay with my ex husbands mom for about a month.  In the mean time my ex husband was telling him that I only did this because I didn't want my son any more, and that I just wanted him out of the house, and calling my little girl a whore and blaming the whole thing on her.  In the midst of all this my youngest son who is diabetic is being bullied at school and as a way of getting out of class he over doses on insulin in a big way. Two days in a row before I figured out what was going on.  I mean how much can one person take?  Now my ex husband is threatening to deem me unfit. I mean maybe I am.  It's killing me. 

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