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Drama drama drama drama

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:36 PM
  • 10 Replies

I haven't ever made a post myself, I just normally comment on other people's posts. And as my first post unfortunately it isn't anything to do with teens, but I hope its allowed anyway.

I have 2 old half sister's, and they literally do not get along at all. My oldest sister is 11 years older than I am, and my other sister is 10 yrs older than me. There has always been tension and drama between them as long as I can remember. I was my oldest sister's favorite and still pretty much am. I didn't start getting along with my other sister until I was an adult. The reason for that is simple...I have raised her 3 kids. She had my first neice when she was 18, my second when she was 20 and my nephew when she was 22. I was 9, 11, and 13 during this time. When I was 14 I practically living with her to babysit the kids while she went to "school" and worked. I actually did her homework for her, she didn't do it. She worked 3rd so I was there all the time. Now mind you she was only out on her own for like 6 months, the rest of the time she lived with us. And I in all honesty do not remember a time when she didn't have a boyfriend. I'm talking back when I was 2 or 3 I remember her having them up until even now. It's ridiculous. It's like she can't function without a man. I've watched her and my oldest sister who's husband was a piece of crap who beat her for 20 years before she divorced him. I see no need to get married in all honesty. I am perfectly happy without a man in my life. But that is neither here nor there. I can make it on my own, my oldest sister can somewhat but my middle sister? No. She could i'm sure but she can't last at a job on the rare instances she has one. Anyhoo, sorry I ramble and digress alot. Anyhow, when I was 14 I wanted to go home and spend the weekend with my dad as she wasn't working and I hadn't seen him for weeks prior to this and i'm still to this day a totally daddy's girl. So she called me and asked if i'd babysit and I told her no, she wanted to go out with her bf to go to a rodeo, well sorry but no you have kids. So my parents got a call later from the friggin police because my idiotic sister went anyway and left them alone in the apartment. My nephew was 8 months old, my neices were 2 & 4. This is how idiotic she is. So we got stuck with them. Both my parents worked so I would come home after school and have to watch the kids, cook dinner, do laundry, give them baths & when they got older help with homework etc.

They are now 27, 25, and 23. And she never regained custody, never wanted custody back because that would derail her "fun times" pretty much. She didn't really want anything to do with them till they were in their late teens. THEN all of a sudden she was "i'm their mom" but only in front of people, she wanted to show off. So stupid.

So to this day my older sister hates her, and she blames her for pretty much my childhood  being taken away. My middle sister wants nothing more than to have my older sister talk to her etc but she won't. So she posts crap on facebook all the time. I FINALLY had to tell them both to get the hell off of my facebook if they were fighting because I don't want to hear it, it has nothing to do with me and i'm tired of it. But my oldest sister will make a dig every so often about her being my favorite sister, which my younger neice does that too, but she tells everyone she's my favorite. But my sister saying it cheeses my other sister off and then makes her write a ridiculous post about how its not fair that she wants nothing to do with her and how she doesn't have much to do with my other neice or nephew, blah blah blah. I am trying SO HARD not to say anything to my sister because it'll only hurt her feelings and then i'll have to hear how its not fair all that other crap.

I got whined at a while back when I told her that contrary to what she believes my nephew doesn't have to let her know every little thing that happens with his 3 month old son and she was like yes they do. No they don't. She was like "i'm his mom" and I was like so what? You weren't in his life until he was 15 and that's only because you got back with his dad. So that made her even madder. But she thinks that she is this great mom when she wasn't. And they are both seriously getting on my nerves.


Sorry I had to vent. It was either that or I am going to end up having to post about her whining etc.

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:47 AM
(((Hugs))) family drama is the WORST because it often affects the days of the year we are supp to have fun, relax, celebrate the holidays. My family has had some of the same types of issues (my mom's 2 sisters didn't talk for 5 years after a lifetime of tension)..I'm so sorry, hang in there, it sounds like you are a really good sister and Aunt and they are LUCKY to have you!
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:52 AM

My family is full of Drama as well.   I don't speak to 2 of my sisters.  It is a tough call to make.  One disowned our entire family 20 yrs ago.    The other is just nuts.   I played nice for many years and finally had to just walk away.   I deleted her from my facebook and blocked her number 18 months ago.     She is toxic.   I refuse to play games.

It is hard with family.   Hang in there as best you can.   Know your limits and protect yourself.

02nana07
by Ida on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:21 AM

 Sounds like alot of dads I know who were never there until the kids were grown then want a father of the year award.  Hopefully the kids remember who was there and let her hear the truth from their mouth then maybe she will get it.  

pinkyheather
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:36 PM
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Quoting bizzeemom2717:

(((Hugs))) family drama is the WORST because it often affects the days of the year we are supp to have fun, relax, celebrate the holidays. My family has had some of the same types of issues (my mom's 2 sisters didn't talk for 5 years after a lifetime of tension)..I'm so sorry, hang in there, it sounds like you are a really good sister and Aunt and they are LUCKY to have you!

They drive me nuts but they are my kids for all intents and purposes.

What sucks is my sisters are older than me yet no where near as mature. I just want to scream at them TO GROW THE FRICK UP!

pinkyheather
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:39 PM


Quoting boys2men2soon:

My family is full of Drama as well.   I don't speak to 2 of my sisters.  It is a tough call to make.  One disowned our entire family 20 yrs ago.    The other is just nuts.   I played nice for many years and finally had to just walk away.   I deleted her from my facebook and blocked her number 18 months ago.     She is toxic.   I refuse to play games.

It is hard with family.   Hang in there as best you can.   Know your limits and protect yourself.

I think it would be happier if they wouldn't bad mouth the other to me in the oldest sister's case and in the middle sister's case whine about not knowing why they don't get along. It's like come on...your both are almost FIFTY now get over it!


Wow, your family sounds as crazy as mine!

pinkyheather
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:48 PM


Quoting 02nana07:

 Sounds like alot of dads I know who were never there until the kids were grown then want a father of the year award.  Hopefully the kids remember who was there and let her hear the truth from their mouth then maybe she will get it.  

The girls dad was pretty much a deadbeat who never wanted to have anything to do with them. He was sick all the time and only wanted to talk to them if he thought he was dying and even then it was to gain sympathy from them. But they are close to his parents and brother though, luckily. They have holiday dinners with us. He passed away years ago, and the kids weren't heartbroken by any means.

My nephews dad was never in the picture, he finally met him when he was like 14 or 15. And then he ended up getting back together with my sister, and they make each other miserable every single day.

They actually all have told her that she isn't their mom, just their "mother" but she doesn't get it. It's obvious though to everyone, because they'd come to me before they would her. And i'm close to all of them, but especially my youngest neice and my nephew. I've raised my nephew since he came home from the hospital at 2 days old. But to her, she did nothing wrong, and she's the best mother ever. yeah whatever.

mannafromheaven
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:35 AM

Hope the venting helps.  I'd be inclined to get the two of them in the same room and tell them that you don't them using you as an excuse for fighting with each other.  Then bow out of it and turn their relationship over to them to deal with.  Your life has enough going on, if you are like the rest of us, and you shouldn't have to feel roped into this family drama.  If you stay in, you might want to ask yourself what it is that you are getting out of their dysfunctional relationship.  My first wondering question is if you like having someone stand up for you instead of you having to deal with how you feel about taking care of her kids at the expense of your own growing up.  Anyway, that's what I think

pinkyheather
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM


Quoting mannafromheaven:

Hope the venting helps.  I'd be inclined to get the two of them in the same room and tell them that you don't them using you as an excuse for fighting with each other.  Then bow out of it and turn their relationship over to them to deal with.  Your life has enough going on, if you are like the rest of us, and you shouldn't have to feel roped into this family drama.  If you stay in, you might want to ask yourself what it is that you are getting out of their dysfunctional relationship.  My first wondering question is if you like having someone stand up for you instead of you having to deal with how you feel about taking care of her kids at the expense of your own growing up.  Anyway, that's what I think

It did, it made me not want to explode on the both of them. The thing is they are NEVER in the same state much less the same room. The last time they were in the same room together was at my mom's wake 2 years ago.

I'm not getting anything out of it, I don't want in it at all. Instead of the 3 kids sometimes I feel like I have 5.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by someone standing up for me instead of me having to deal with how i feel about taking care of her kids.

PurpleHazey
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:10 AM

Out of my league I hate drama and most of all family drama. Family members always have remember whens crap. I sure do remember on both sides, we have all been there.

brlee1115
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:11 AM

I can kind of see your older sister's point of view. Since I'm the oldest of 3, I've had to take on the "mom" role several times and have grown up being involved in many adult situations.

Of course, she' mad at the middle sister. She basically took advantage of you your whole childhood. You had to become a mom to her 3 children. You lost your childhood, your time with friends, your opportunities with extracurricular activities, so maybe fall in love. However, what's done is done. Your middle sister hasn't acknowledged any wrongdoing on her part. I would, if you haven't already, have a long talk with the older sister. Explain to her everything that you're feeling and what you expect. You have to make boundaries, and she cannot cross them.

Since the kids have grown up, live your life, sweetheart! You have nobody to please but yourself. Make yourself happy, do what you want, travel, fall in love...it's really not that bad.  Leave the drama behind and move on.

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