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MILF (a little long - sorry)

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:43 PM
  • 15 Replies

 Yesterday I was at the park with my two kids (ages 17 and 14) and the most unimaginable thing happened to me.  I am still in shock and not quite sure how to process it.  My oldest was hanging out with a group of his friends at one end of the park and my youngest was with her friends at the other end.  I was sitting at a picnic table by myself , enjoying the sunshine, and reading a book.  I looked up and noticed one of my son's old friends from elementary school walking by.  He stopped to say hi and we visited for a little while.          (a little background information - my son and this kid use to be friends when they were younger.  He has slept over at our house, has gone on camping trips with us, etc.  His mother passed away several years ago when he was only 14 and he has had a very difficult time ever since.  I have always treated him like one of my own kids and he knew our door was always open.  If he had not eaten that day I would feed him, if I saw him out in public he would come up to me and hug me, if I saw him doing something or hanging out with the wrong crowd I would say - what the heck are you doing - you know better than that - get your butt home.  He would smile and laugh at me.  He would even introduce me to his friends as his second mom)          So we were sitting there talking and he says - can I tell you a secrete?  I said - yeah sure - feeling flattered that he was comfortable enough to trust me.  Then he drops this bomb and says that he has always liked me and has fantasized about having sex with me.  He said he likes older women because they know what they are doing.  He wanted to wait until he was 18 to tell me so it would not be a problem.  I was speechless and my jaw must have hit the table.  Then the first words out of my mouth were, " ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F---ING MIND!!  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!  NO WAY IN HELL!!"  I told him I was old enough to be his mother, that he use to be one of my son's friends, and that he was way out of line.  I was so embarrassed and shocked and then I became angry.  Now I am extremely uncomfortable and not sure what I am going to do the next time I see him in public.


I am not hiding under anonymous because this is not a troll post.  I am seriously freaking out and need honest advise.  Has anyone else ever been in a simular situation?  What did you do or how did you react?              

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Yikes!


I'm not sure freaking out was the best response but I can not say I wouldn't have done the same. I hear a young man looking for something he feels he lost when he lost his mother. It's also not uncommon for friends to fatasize about their friends mothers or fathers (if it was a friend of your DD's). Just like they can do with teachers.

It's time to have a sit down with this young man....if he is still able to look you in the eye's. Have a heart to heart that you really feel for him, but even if he was 18 it would never happen. You would not date your son, and since he just like a son to you you would never date him. That someday the right girl will come along, only you are not that girl.

momofne
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:01 PM

Yeah I would have to agree. Never had that happen but I do think one of my older sons friends had a crush on me at one time.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Yikes!


I'm not sure freaking out was the best response but I can not say I wouldn't have done the same. I hear a young man looking for something he feels he lost when he lost his mother. It's also not uncommon for friends to fatasize about their friends mothers or fathers (if it was a friend of your DD's). Just like they can do with teachers.

It's time to have a sit down with this young man....if he is still able to look you in the eye's. Have a heart to heart that you really feel for him, but even if he was 18 it would never happen. You would not date your son, and since he just like a son to you you would never date him. That someday the right girl will come along, only you are not that girl.


parker4429
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:36 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree - freaking out was probably not the best response and I should have handled it differntly.  I was shocked and blurted the first thing that came to mind.   I did tell him that I do think of him as one of my own kids and there was no way it was ever going to happen.  I also told him there will be a woman that will sweep him off his feet and steal his heart -  he just needs to be patient.  His response was no way - I am not settling down.  I also told him to be careful about sleeping around with multipal people regardless of their age.  And to be extra careful aout minors since he is now 18.  He agreed        

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Yikes!

 

I'm not sure freaking out was the best response but I can not say I wouldn't have done the same. I hear a young man looking for something he feels he lost when he lost his mother. It's also not uncommon for friends to fatasize about their friends mothers or fathers (if it was a friend of your DD's). Just like they can do with teachers.

It's time to have a sit down with this young man....if he is still able to look you in the eye's. Have a heart to heart that you really feel for him, but even if he was 18 it would never happen. You would not date your son, and since he just like a son to you you would never date him. That someday the right girl will come along, only you are not that girl.

 

2protectivemom
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:42 PM

Oh my....... This is what I was thinking....                                                              Quoting luckysevenwow:

Yikes!

 

I'm not sure freaking out was the best response but I can not say I wouldn't have done the same. I hear a young man looking for something he feels he lost when he lost his mother. It's also not uncommon for friends to fatasize about their friends mothers or fathers (if it was a friend of your DD's). Just like they can do with teachers.

It's time to have a sit down with this young man....if he is still able to look you in the eye's. Have a heart to heart that you really feel for him, but even if he was 18 it would never happen. You would not date your son, and since he just like a son to you you would never date him. That someday the right girl will come along, only you are not that girl.


fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:51 PM

I would  have done the same.  What did he do when you freaked out?

39holding519
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:55 PM

To be honest I would robably avoid further contact.  You said your peace and offered advice but he is an adult now and youhave no control over anything he does plus he is no longer a friend of your sons.  i amy be polite with hello but that would be about it.  And I may have freaked out a little too.  Wow!

momofne
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Sounds like (after the freak out LOL) you handled it quite well. I wouldn't think there would be much more to say to him then.

Quoting parker4429:

I agree - freaking out was probably not the best response and I should have handled it differntly.  I was shocked and blurted the first thing that came to mind.   I did tell him that I do think of him as one of my own kids and there was no way it was ever going to happen.  I also told him there will be a woman that will sweep him off his feet and steal his heart -  he just needs to be patient.  His response was no way - I am not settling down.  I also told him to be careful about sleeping around with multipal people regardless of their age.  And to be extra careful aout minors since he is now 18.  He agreed        

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Yikes!


I'm not sure freaking out was the best response but I can not say I wouldn't have done the same. I hear a young man looking for something he feels he lost when he lost his mother. It's also not uncommon for friends to fatasize about their friends mothers or fathers (if it was a friend of your DD's). Just like they can do with teachers.

It's time to have a sit down with this young man....if he is still able to look you in the eye's. Have a heart to heart that you really feel for him, but even if he was 18 it would never happen. You would not date your son, and since he just like a son to you you would never date him. That someday the right girl will come along, only you are not that girl.

 


parker4429
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:19 PM

 He tried another angle and asked again.  Shortly after that I made an excuse to leave.  I didn't know what else to do.  I pray my son never finds out how this kid feels because he is pretty protective of me and it would not turn out well (they go to the same high school)

 

Quoting fantasticfour:

I would  have done the same.  What did he do when you freaked out?

 

parker4429
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:23 PM

I plan to avoid him like the plague but now it is VERY awkward.  We live in a small town and the chances of running into him in public are high.  I wished he had never told me.

Quoting 39holding519:

To be honest I would robably avoid further contact.  You said your peace and offered advice but he is an adult now and youhave no control over anything he does plus he is no longer a friend of your sons.  i amy be polite with hello but that would be about it.  And I may have freaked out a little too.  Wow!

 

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Sit down and talk with him in a few days, it doesn't sound like this young man poses any physical danger. Kindly explain why u freaked out and let him know you will be there as his friend and nothing more.
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