Yesterday DH and I were working in basement bathroom. He filled up trash can with paper towels so I grabbed bag to take it out. It felt heavier than it should for bathroom trash. Further analysis revealed an empty wine bottle.
Upon questioning, our DS, 15, revealed he had drank it - or at least part of it, alone. He said he didn't like it, didn't vomit and didn't share it with his friends. Not sure if I believe the last part.
Kudos to him for owning up to it. DH and I shook our heads b/c we both knew that we had experimented with alcohol at that age, in the 80's, when you certainly didn't do it at home. Not that that was a good thing but we understand the curiosity.
DH talked to him and told him that he understood but as he gets closer to driving, these things do not mix, you can mess up your life, etc, etc.
He is a good kid and rarely steps out of line. So, my question is:
a) Do we give him a pass with the talking to this first time while laying out consequences for repeat behavior?
b) Punish him in some way? Be specific?
The essay is a really good idea. I have to say he acted like an adult by owning up to it and being responsible by drinking at home. I think if he is punished for drinking at home then he may go and do it somewhere else...leading to drinking and driving when he is of age. I would be more worried about the drinking alone part of the whole situation. Why is he drinking alone? It obviously wasn't peer pressure. Just curiousity? Perhaps.
I would give him a consequence now. It is a really good thing that he owned up to it, but he still did it. Take away something, his computer or cell phone for even one day. He does need to know that he can't just do that and you will be ok with it because chances are, if you let him get away with it, he will do it again. We have a 15-year-old son too and he is such a good kid. If he did something like that, I would talk with him first and then take something away or he would not be allowed to have friends over or go to his friend's.
It is good he owned up to it and such. But the real question is why is he drinking it by himself? It may be honest curiosity, but if he was truely drinking alone I would keep my eye out for any sort of depression cuz that could def lead to a bad road to start drinking to help it at such a young age. Usually when someone tries something out of curiosity especially drinking or drugs for no other reason but to try it out, they would with someone else. I am not saying this is 100% true in the least. I am just saying keep an eye out. It really may be that he dumped the rest or split a bottle with a couple friends. Just htought I would throw that one out there, and I didnt read other comments, so sorry if someone else said this. Anyways good luck! oh PS when I got caught smoking pot, my mom let it slide as an experiment the first time, I kept smoking and it was untill I got grounded all summer that I realised it wasnt worth it. But thats just me....All kids respond diff to diff punishments. good luck :)
Quoting AlexisGrace88:
It is good he owned up to it and such. But the real question is why is he drinking it by himself? It may be honest curiosity, but if he was truely drinking alone I would keep my eye out for any sort of depression cuz that could def lead to a bad road to start drinking to help it at such a young age. Usually when someone tries something out of curiosity especially drinking or drugs for no other reason but to try it out, they would with someone else. I am not saying this is 100% true in the least. I am just saying keep an eye out. It really may be that he dumped the rest or split a bottle with a couple friends. Just htought I would throw that one out there, and I didnt read other comments, so sorry if someone else said this. Anyways good luck! oh PS when I got caught smoking pot, my mom let it slide as an experiment the first time, I kept smoking and it was untill I got grounded all summer that I realised it wasnt worth it. But thats just me....All kids respond diff to diff punishments. good luck :)
oh shoot, sorry I was a little out of place, I just saw this on the main page, didnt realise it was in the 'mom with teens' group. I do not have a teen....but I will leave it here anyways, could be helpful and if not than that is fine too :)
Quoting rebeccasmly:With him owning up to it, I think I would skip the punishment this time. I would have a nice in depth conversation with him about the results of drinking and complications it can cause. I would also lay out what the punishment will be if happens again.
Quoting rebeccasmly:With him owning up to it, I think I would skip the punishment this time. I would have a nice in depth conversation with him about the results of drinking and complications it can cause. I would also lay out what the punishment will be if happens again.
where did he get it and why didnt he get sick guess it was not his first time. i have a friend who is always checking her sons breath by kissing him nice trick try it
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- rhaztas
on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:11 PM