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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

verbally ganged up on, feeling like a failure

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I am a 45 yr. old mom of 4 oldest 25 youngest 16.  We have been through ALOT together.  Tonight I corrected my youngest (16 year old) for saying "Jesus" when I asked her to bring down my laundry basket  when she came downstairs.  I was called a hypocryt by my older daughter 24.  They then both got on the bandwagon and said I was a hypocryt because in there eyes "I don't "practice" religion" therefore I am a hypocryt.  I know this sounds silly, and I know this is rediculious, however it desperately disturbs me that my children think I am rediculous.  They went on to say that I push my beliefs on them and that I was judgemental.  Again I know this sounds silly but I can't stop feeling like a failure!  They have never been on my side about anything!  It's a very long story and I can't go into detail here and now, but has anyone ever felt like this?  What is my purpose?  I just want to give up and run away.  I don't want to deal with it anymore!  I am done!  over quit finito!  I know running away isn't the right solution eithier but I REALLY want to!  I don't want to deal with it any more!

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:33 PM
Replies (11-14):
Madammeke
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:36 PM

They are teenagers and you are a parent, of course they don't agree with you. Of course they find you silly and old fashioned and a hypocrite. That is the normal thought of a teenager.

Be and adult, let them talk and know that this phase will pass very soon. Stand your ground and continue to do what you do.

25 still living at home! Maybe time to move out of their feelings are like this. Mention it a couple of times, it does wonders when they realize that you are not that ....ridiculous.

annie2244
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

If you don't feel good about yourself, it's much harder to take criticism, even normal healthy exchanges that occur when people who live together work through issues.  If you don't feel good about yourself, it's hard to appropriately push back and teach your kids how to respectfully treat you and respectfully work out issues. If you feel like you want to escape their negative input, it's likely you've got a thin shell right now protecting your self identity, you're feeling vulnerable. Not only is that no fun for you, but you also can't appropriately push back to your kids to help them be appropriate in their interchanges with you, which contributes to an unhealthy living situation for all of you, and prevents them from learning and practicing with feedback from you communication behaviors that they need to learn to be competent successful adults in their relationships.

If you have health insurance, I'd go visit a counselor for several visits, to have someone help you process through how you are feeling about things in your life.

Toro862
by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:16 PM
that is the real attitudes of a teenager ok?what you need is patients I mean a very big patients so that they don't push you into doing what you don't want to do and be more prayerful.God will help u
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PurpleHazey
by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Boy are they getting your goat. I wouldn't let it bother me because they are teens who know what bothers you and what don't.

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