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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

My sons texts with his girlfriend

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:54 PM
  • 20 Replies

Okay, so just a little backround.  I have full access to all of my kids iphones, computers and everything else.  I DO check emails and text messages all the time.  My 14 year old son has a girlfriend- his first girlfriend.  They have been together for a couple of months now.  I know that they have kissed.  I do not let them hang out alone, a parent or group of friends must be there.  

So I looked at my sons texts last night and this is what I found-

my son- I had a good time studying yesterday

girlfriend- me too!  I think I need a little extra credit. :)

my son- oh extra credit is definitely needed.

my son- did your mom know that we were studying when she got home?

girlfriend- I think she knew but she pretended not to.

my son- she knows we were studying like that?

girlfriend- no probably not. lol  She just told me that as long as we keep our clothes on, then its okay.

my son- wow, my mom would never say something like that. she would never trust me again.

girlfriend- well maybe thats a good thing.

my son- well theres a test coming so we better study again soon.

girlfriend- definitely :)


UGHHHHHHHHHH.  Okay so what does everyone think about this conversation?  First, I know that he must have been at her house when her mom wasnt home- he knows I am not okay wiht that.  I havent talked to him about this yet.  I m not sure how to approach it.  My husband is freaking out and thinks my son is going to ruin his life by getting this girl pregnant.  He basically wants to ban him from seeing her at all. I dont think thats a good idea.  I think at this point my son is head over heels about this girl and he would probably start sneeking out and lying to be able to see her.  I dont want that!  But I am also not ready to be a grandma.  

I am just not sure what to do with this information.  They are obviously getting hot and heavy and I know where that leads.  Should I listen to my husband and ban then from seeing each other?  He will not bring the girlfriend over here to our house so I cant monitor them.  They only hang out at her house. :(

Any suggestions?

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
prettybaby1
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't let him hang out at her house anymore and also talk to the girls parents and tell them your concerns. 

peacheylady
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Take them to the library to study.....you will be there to. Its public, safer than them being alone at her house. You have take precautions. Thats just a few things I can think of right now.
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rkoloms
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Have the banana and condom talk with him. Kids have sex at school
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rwblake2011
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:13 PM
Tell him bring her to your house otherwise its NOT an option. But also talk with her parents as well before anything else happens.
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pinkyheather
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:22 PM
2 moms liked this
If you ban them from seeing each other they will just start sneaking around behind your backs. I would talk to her mom, and let her know you and your husband do not want them to be alone without adult supervision and if she can't respect that then he shouldn't be going over there.
yogamom16
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I talk to her mom all the time.  I think she is in denial about all of this.  She just tells me that they are "great kids" and I have nothing to worry about.  I agree that they are great kids but they are also full of hormones right now and not thinking clearly.

3KidsOneMom
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:30 PM
1 mom liked this

My aunt found out that her dd had sex in the school bathroom, a teacher walked in on them!! Kids are doing stupid stuff these days!!

Quoting rkoloms:

Have the banana and condom talk with him. Kids have sex at school


EyEmTuRtLe
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't tell them they can't see each other but I definitely would make it so they are only allowed to be together at your home.


fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 1, 2012 at 12:43 AM
2 moms liked this

First of all, if you ban the relationship they will find a way and it will be all that more steamy because it's even more taboo.  I would tell him no longer allowed at her house, but they can "study" at your house all they want.  With you home by the way. 

annie2244
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:38 AM

I'd decrease his unsupervised time and his time with her. Time with her needs to be with a group of kids and not in a house unless it's yours when an adult is there and only in main floor common areas. I do not agree with other posters who say that if you tell him you are not ok with his dating, with his spending time with her alone, that these behaviors will then increase. Parent opinions matter to teens. Parent oversight and restriction of opportunity impacts likelihood of problem behavior. I'd also figure out what his knowledge is about std's,  and std & preg prevention (and failure rates of the various methods), and his views on having sex at his age. Then fill in the gaps in knowledge.

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