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Sensitive Kid

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:43 AM
  • 28 Replies

Hi, I'm new.  I'm Kris, 31, married and have a 12 yo son.

My husband is not my sons father.  I left bio dad when my son was 4.  Mentally abusive relationship, but that is for another post at another time, but long story short, I had been a single mother for nearly all of his life.  Thank God for the help of my mother who came to my rescue and helped me greatly.

I am now starting to see how the absence of a father is affecting my child as it should not be a surprise to me, but my son is very sensitive.  He does not have any really good friends, he plays well with others until they start teasing him.  He is teased constantly, even by some of his friends at school, on the baseball team, in the neighborhood.  He always ends up coming home crying or terribly upset.  I have taught him how to stick up for himself, but he always gets hurt and takes everything to heart.  He is not exactly a small kid, but I had always taught him that fighting is wrong and that he should talk it out or leave the situation.  Especially for problems at school. 

Lately, he is pushed toward wanting to fight.  Wanting to teach some of the other kids a lesson and I am almost at the point of allowing him to do so, just once, to see if the kids would leave him alone.  He's always one of the youngest wherever we go.  I have attempted to ask him to make plans with other kids so I can take them to the movies and he shies away from it and would rather be upset by the kids in the neighborhood.  I have started to make plans with the other moms on the baseball team to see if I can borrow their kids for an afternoon...But he is starting to have problems with the kids on the team as well.  These kids are just being kids, but my son doesn't know how to handle the teasing, especially when a lot of them gang up on him.  They aren't being malicious, but my sons feelings are hurt and I don't know how to help.  DH has been helpful, but has zero experience with kids and has no idea either.

LOL, I know he isn't a baby anymore and that I will never be able to control what goes on around him, but it doesn't hurt to keep the bubble wrap handy? 

Thanks for listening and letting me vent :)

by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on May. 1, 2012 at 11:54 AM
2 moms liked this

What is he teased about??     I would not encourage him to fight over words. 

  My stance on fighting is simple:  Never start it, always end it.   Do not ever throw the first punch.....but if you are punched then punch back...and make it count.  




Treyzmama5
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:09 PM

They poke fun at him, once they were making asian jokes about eating rice, on the baseball team last week they were spitting sunflower seeds in his face and then kept snatching his baseball gloves out of his back pocket over and over again, they keep telling him he's no good at anything (baseball, did I mention he loves baseball?) and he will stay there and argue with them, then they just make fun of him more... He avoids the bathroom at school because one of the boys and his friends call him "fruity" even though my son is all boy.  Tries to belittle him in front of the friends he did have and this boy in elementary school stabbed him in the hand with a fork!  That one, I would not mind my son clobbering...  Those are just some of the things, some manageable and some not. 

We have the same stance on fighting.  But as I mentioned before, he is not a small, they wouldn't dare throw a punch at him.  They use their words to hurt him.  Again, sometimes deep inside, I wish they would...

greatmom0805
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Boys club,,,,

MB13
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:09 PM

I feel for you!  My 17 year old son has been the target of bullies since early in elementary school.  He is also very sensitive, he is one of the youngest in his class, and he was also the smallest in his class and not very athletic.  This all made him an easy target.  Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of help for you other than keep assuring him that he is good and to try to ignore the name calling.  I know being sensitive, it gets to him and he wants to try to defend himself by arguing.  That just eggs the bullies on.  My son has done better socializing with boys one on one instead of in groups.  In groups, they tend to have that gang mentality and bully the weakest members. 

hance6
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:13 PM
2 moms liked this

Check into a big brother, or mentor program for him.  Also, I would recommend a really good psycologist.  One of by boys is the same way, it is like he's a magnet for teasing, and he to is super sensitive.  My son has always had his dad, so I don't think it is due to that, don't beat yourself up about that.  I can't believe the coach or teachers didn't say something to the kids, how dissappointing.  My son even started eating lunch in his classroom because the kids teasing him.  

Two months ago we moved and the funny thing is he has made so many friends here and so far he hasn't said to much about kids making fun of him.  So if you have the option of school of choice in your county, maybe check into what some of the other schools are like.  Good luck, and you're right keep the bubble wrap handy,lol.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 1, 2012 at 1:52 PM

I'm confused, you husband has zero tolerance for kids or zero tolerance for kids who pick on others?  Why isn't your husband a male role model?   Maybe they can spend some "guy" time together.

Treyzmama5
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:58 PM

My hubby has zero Experience with kids.  They spend time together and he is a great role model, but my son still having trouble taking jokes from other kids.

MrsBLB
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried counseling to help your son with coping skills?

Treyzmama5
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Thanks for the replies.  Sometimes it just helps to know that I'm not alone in this :)

Treyzmama5
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:05 PM


Quoting MrsBLB:

Have you tried counseling to help your son with coping skills?


I have spoken to the school counselor.  My son keeps making appts to talk to her and I have emailed her several times.  She is supposed to put him in some sort of group to help him deal with things.  Looks like I am going to have to make a special trip up to the school to be heard because she hasn't seen him yet.

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