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Our 8th grader does not have any close friends.  He is very social, and gets along with lots of kids at school, but does not go out, (to the mall, dances, sporting events etc.).  He is not an athlete, and prefers to stay home and read, play video games, watch tv or help DH outside with projects.  It doesn't seem to bother him, but we worry about him feeling left out, and just not letting us know.  We have not found anything he wants to join.  Unlike every other kid today, he does not have a phone, and does not want one.  In elementary school, he had two really close friends.  They don't really have anything to do with him anymore b/c they are so involved in their own sports which keep them really busy and they hang out with their teammates.  (they don't hang out with each other anymore either b/c they are in different sports).  We have had the opportunity to observe him at school (while volunteering at a couple of events) and he tries to get in the conversation/group, but other than him inserting a few comments, he is really on the fringe, with his "friends" carrying on a conversation amongst themselves.  I know this is generalizing, and not  pc, but he is not a total nerd or gross, but he is also not as far along (physically) as a lot of the boys in his grade.  Has not hit his growth spurt, has a little baby fat still. We would love for him to just have one close friend, or one group that actually seems to appreciate him.  One thing that did bother him is a class trip that is coming up.  He did not end up in a roommate group with any of his friends, and had to get put in a group with "leftover" kids.  He was so upset when this happened that he didn't even want to go.  He has decided he wants to go, but is dreading having to room with these boys, and has said he will sleep in a chair or on the floor.  I don't know what to do for him, if anything, or if I'm just getting this off my chest. 

 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:12 AM
Replies (11-20):
PinkieRed
by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:33 PM
I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.

My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.


Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on May. 2, 2012 at 4:44 PM
The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.



My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.





Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PinkieRed
by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:53 PM
The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.








Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on May. 2, 2012 at 5:00 PM
Oh wow, bowling team, how fun! My DD's school will have about 3000 kids next year. My DS graduated in last summer with 203 in his graduating class which was nice. I liked the smaller school but the class options and extra curriculars are not even close to what my DD's larger school will offer, so I have some mixed feelings.

Quoting PinkieRed:

The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.










Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jandhmommy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:04 PM

Oh yeah, he's had close friends.  He used to go to friend's houses/ them come to ours, but as they've gotten into more competitive sports, they just tend to hang with their teammates.  Plus, when they were younger, it was easy for me to call/plan with other moms.  Now, since he hasn't wanted a cell phone, he really doesn't communicate outside of school with them.  We live out in the country, so it's not like there are kids in the neighborhood to hang with.  We have to drive him.  I think he realizes he needs to find some activities (to meet people and for college apps.)....I was also thinking volunteer work would be good.

PinkieRed
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:27 PM
That's true, the small schools can't offer nearly as much in the way of elective classes and extracurriculars.

All of my teenage/young adult nieces and nephews have graduated from or are currently attending big suburban public high schools. I'm always astounded by the range of classes that some of the bigger public high schools here in the Cleveland area offer, particularly the ones in wealthier districts.

I don't think my daughter would do well in a big school though, Catholic or public, as she has a learning disability, and some other issues. I'd be afraid she'd get overlooked, sort of "lost in the shuffle".

We picked her HS in part because it has a learning disabilities program. A lot of kids who graduated from her current school last year are now attending that high school. And a significant number from her 8th grade class will be going there as well. That's good, in that she'll start high school already knowing some kids.


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Oh wow, bowling team, how fun! My DD's school will have about 3000 kids next year. My DS graduated in last summer with 203 in his graduating class which was nice. I liked the smaller school but the class options and extra curriculars are not even close to what my DD's larger school will offer, so I have some mixed feelings.



Quoting PinkieRed:

The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.












Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on May. 2, 2012 at 5:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you, it really depends on the kids and sounds like your DD will be attending a great school. I always am grateful the way things happen to turn out, my DS was much more the introvert and shy in HS, he would have had a really rough time I'm afraid at such a big school. While my DD was very upset initially (months really, ugh) she is the extrovert of the family and the transition while tough was doable and she has adapted well and has made new friends.

Quoting PinkieRed:

That's true, the small schools can't offer nearly as much in the way of elective classes and extracurriculars.



All of my teenage/young adult nieces and nephews have graduated from or are currently attending big suburban public high schools. I'm always astounded by the range of classes that some of the bigger public high schools here in the Cleveland area offer, particularly the ones in wealthier districts.



I don't think my daughter would do well in a big school though, Catholic or public, as she has a learning disability, and some other issues. I'd be afraid she'd get overlooked, sort of "lost in the shuffle".



We picked her HS in part because it has a learning disabilities program. A lot of kids who graduated from her current school last year are now attending that high school. And a significant number from her 8th grade class will be going there as well. That's good, in that she'll start high school already knowing some kids.




Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Oh wow, bowling team, how fun! My DD's school will have about 3000 kids next year. My DS graduated in last summer with 203 in his graduating class which was nice. I liked the smaller school but the class options and extra curriculars are not even close to what my DD's larger school will offer, so I have some mixed feelings.





Quoting PinkieRed:

The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.














Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 2, 2012 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Our school has 2400 kids so there is something for everyone. Intramurals is huge also. 500 kids play intramural basketball. They have every sport including badmitton and mini golf for intramurals.  Something for everyone.  I think they have 25 or more clubs also. 

PinkieRed
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:59 PM
I have a step-niece who's just a few months younger than my daughter, but who's the total opposite, personality wise, in every way.

My niece went from a smaller, inner city public elementary school, to a big, wealthy, suburban middle school, after my brother and her mom got married.

She's very outgoing, pretty, and stylish, and so she made a ton of friends in a short time, after changing schools. Now she's super popular, a cheerleader and runs track, and has a big group of friends who she hangs out with regularly. It's so different from how things are for my daughter, social life wise.

My daughter just adores her, but they don't see each other very often, because they live on the other side of town, and my niece is almost always out with her friends, or at sleepovers or parties, or is busy with her sports. I feel bad for my daughter, because she really misses her cousin a lot.
Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I agree with you, it really depends on the kids and sounds like your DD will be attending a great school. I always am grateful the way things happen to turn out, my DS was much more the introvert and shy in HS, he would have had a really rough time I'm afraid at such a big school. While my DD was very upset initially (months really, ugh) she is the extrovert of the family and the transition while tough was doable and she has adapted well and has made new friends.

Quoting PinkieRed:

That's true, the small schools can't offer nearly as much in the way of elective classes and extracurriculars.





All of my teenage/young adult nieces and nephews have graduated from or are currently attending big suburban public high schools. I'm always astounded by the range of classes that some of the bigger public high schools here in the Cleveland area offer, particularly the ones in wealthier districts.





I don't think my daughter would do well in a big school though, Catholic or public, as she has a learning disability, and some other issues. I'd be afraid she'd get overlooked, sort of "lost in the shuffle".





We picked her HS in part because it has a learning disabilities program. A lot of kids who graduated from her current school last year are now attending that high school. And a significant number from her 8th grade class will be going there as well. That's good, in that she'll start high school already knowing some kids.




Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Oh wow, bowling team, how fun! My DD's school will have about 3000 kids next year. My DS graduated in last summer with 203 in his graduating class which was nice. I liked the smaller school but the class options and extra curriculars are not even close to what my DD's larger school will offer, so I have some mixed feelings.





Quoting PinkieRed:

The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.
















Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on May. 2, 2012 at 6:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Aww (((hugs))) to you and esp your DD. That has to be tough esp if she misses her cousin...its a hard age, girls change so much around 14 esp I've noticed with friendships, and social lives.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I have a step-niece who's just a few months younger than my daughter, but who's the total opposite, personality wise, in every way.

My niece went from a smaller, inner city public elementary school, to a big, wealthy, suburban middle school, after my brother and her mom got married.

She's very outgoing, pretty, and stylish, and so she made a ton of friends in a short time, after changing schools. Now she's super popular, a cheerleader and runs track, and has a big group of friends who she hangs out with regularly. It's so different from how things are for my daughter, social life wise.

My daughter just adores her, but they don't see each other very often, because they live on the other side of town, and my niece is almost always out with her friends, or at sleepovers or parties, or is busy with her sports. I feel bad for my daughter, because she really misses her cousin a lot.
Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I agree with you, it really depends on the kids and sounds like your DD will be attending a great school. I always am grateful the way things happen to turn out, my DS was much more the introvert and shy in HS, he would have had a really rough time I'm afraid at such a big school. While my DD was very upset initially (months really, ugh) she is the extrovert of the family and the transition while tough was doable and she has adapted well and has made new friends.

Quoting PinkieRed:

That's true, the small schools can't offer nearly as much in the way of elective classes and extracurriculars.





All of my teenage/young adult nieces and nephews have graduated from or are currently attending big suburban public high schools. I'm always astounded by the range of classes that some of the bigger public high schools here in the Cleveland area offer, particularly the ones in wealthier districts.





I don't think my daughter would do well in a big school though, Catholic or public, as she has a learning disability, and some other issues. I'd be afraid she'd get overlooked, sort of "lost in the shuffle".





We picked her HS in part because it has a learning disabilities program. A lot of kids who graduated from her current school last year are now attending that high school. And a significant number from her 8th grade class will be going there as well. That's good, in that she'll start high school already knowing some kids.




Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Oh wow, bowling team, how fun! My DD's school will have about 3000 kids next year. My DS graduated in last summer with 203 in his graduating class which was nice. I liked the smaller school but the class options and extra curriculars are not even close to what my DD's larger school will offer, so I have some mixed feelings.





Quoting PinkieRed:

The HS my daughter will be going to is a small Catholic school, with about 300 kids.

They had about 20-25 girls try out for about 10 open slots on the cheer team.

I have no idea about what division or whatever the sports teams are in. You can tell I don't "follow" any sports, LOL!

My daughter's current school teaches bowling in gym every year, and they do an all school field trip to a bowling alley once a year, so she's not too bad at bowling. Definitely better than me, that's for sure.

Her soon to be HS has a co-ed bowling team, so she thinks she might want to do bowling in HS. I hope she'll be able to.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The only HS sports that have zero cuts at my DD's new HS next year are cross country and track, makes it difficult for many kids, esp since it is a 4A large school.

Quoting PinkieRed:

I think that's awesome that your girls' school has a non cut sport like that.





My daughter wants to play a sport in high school, but has never played a sport before, and isn't very athletic. She tried out for the HS football cheerleading team last week, but didn't get picked. She was so devastated. I don't know if the school has any sports that are no cut.


















Quoting atlmom2:

Has he never had friends, ever???  Join clubs in HS.  I made my girls be in at least one club.  Our principal suggest it as its great for colleges to see and kids that are involved are less likely to fall in with a bad crowd.  My girls also joined tennis.  Its a non cut sport so everyone plays no matter how good or bad you are.  150 girls split between 5 teams. 

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