Everyone was so helpful in the past, I thought I'd turn to you again. Look out . . . when I post, it can get lengthy. :)
As you may recall, my 15 year old had a very possessive BF, who I will refer to as "D". She broke it off and has been distant with him, although recently he has told her he wants to get back together with her. Fortunately, she replied, "Thank you, but no thank you." D said he won't give up, but she's moved on.
During her trials and tribulations with D, another boy ("B") would ask her how she was doing, what was wrong, and why D would keep bugging her. B even told her he thought she was pretty and that she didn't deserve to be hurt by D. B also told D to "leave her alone already." A couple of weeks ago, a friend of B asked my daughter if she would go out with B. She laughed, as she thought he was joking. When asked where B was, she said he was "sitting right there." I couldn't help but laugh remembering how it was to have friends ask on your behalf.
They're having their first school dance this weekend, to which my daughter already purchased her ticket to go with her friends. Since the last question, B's friend has asked my daughter if she was still going out with D or if she was dating anyone. She answered no and figured that was that. Yesterday, B's friend again approached her and told her that he had something to ask her. This time, B stepped in and said, "No, I'll ask her" and asked if she was going to the dance. When she replied yes, he asked if she would dance with him. My daughter paused but finally said, "Yes." and B replied, "SWEET!" He asked if she had already asked us if she could go, and she told him yes. He asked her what time and where they should meet, to which she responded - it appeared everything was set.
I think my daughter was so excited - the high school quarterback asked her to dance - that she fell down the stairs. I was called to school, took her to the doc, and she tore all the ligaments in her ankle and is on crutches since yesterday afternoon. She facebook messaged B and told him she was hurt; he seemed genuinely concerned about her, but asked her if that meant she couldn't dance. DUH! (She attends a catholic school with a strict no PDA policy so no slow dancing.) She replied, obviously, no. He asked her if she was still going to go, and she said yes. She, therefore, assumed they could just spend some out of classroom time together.
Today, B's friend saw my daughter on crutches and asked if she was now going to "bail" on B - she said no, that she was still going to the dance. His friend was glad and told her that B would be hurt if she did "bail" on him. He also told my daughter that she was a sweet girl, unlike the other girls.
Sadly, B has messaged her and told her he cannot go to the dance. She said there was no reason, but that she feels she "fell into a trap." She started crying! I asked her why she felt that way and she said, "Why would a guy in the 'cool group' ever want to go with an outcast like me?" (This outcast stuff stems from a bunch of really mean girls at her previous school who stated she and her friends were "outcasts.") I was heartbroken for her. I told her to go to the dance, even if it means she has to sit down; that she had already bought her ticket and had intended on going with her friends; and that if he is there, then she knows the truth, if he's not there, then it truly meant that he could not go.
The school is having it's fair from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m.; the students and parents are required to work a shift; for all I know, his parents just don't want to drive out (17+ miles) to work the fair, go back home, then have to bring him out again for the dance and hang around until the dance is over at 10 p.m. I told her that maybe he just doesn't have a way home, or he got grounded and is too embarrassed to tell her, or that he asked her without even asking his parents if he could go. She's crying saying she doesn't want to go any more and I'm telling her to just go and show them that she DIDN'T "fall into a trap." Am I wrong?
I asked my husband, as a guy, if he smelled something fishy. He said that even the friend telling her that she was sweet "unlike the other girls" was very mature for a freshman. If, in fact, this was a trap, that they were "ruthless." If, in fact, B is "hurt" and believes she "bail[ed]" on him, isn't that selfish? Like she WANTED to hurt her ankle?
Should we take her home after the fair or have her go? I feel so bad for her I just don't know what to do! Her friends are ALWAYS there for her - even the boys were carrying her bag for her today. :)
Advice from any mom would be welcomed!!