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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teen daughter just told me she's pregnant...

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:02 AM
  • 36 Replies

Way to start off with a first post, right?  This morning over breakfast, my 19 year old daughter told me she had a positive on two pregnancy tests.  She is only a few weeks pregnant.  She is in college, has been dating the guy about two months, and doesn't want me to tell anyone yet because she might end up miscarrying anyway.  I am freaked out.  I need to talk to somebody, but don't want to talk to anybody until I tell my husband.  She is going to the doctor tomorrow with the boyfriend.  She says she has it all figured out, and that it is her choice (which is rich, seeing as how her dad and I are paying for everything, and the boyfriend doesn't have a summer job figured out yet). She does not want an abortion.  I just want to cry and I can't even do that because I work with my husband.  Hyperventilating right about now.

Sorry if this is the wrong forum or whatever else I may have done wrong by posting here -- Just need to get it out!!!

by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MB13
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:39 AM
6 moms liked this

My 19 year old just had a baby! I am literally waiting to go see them in the hospital!  We found out when she was about 10 weeks pregnant and my initial reaction was not great either!  We have had a long 7 months trying to get her prepared for motherhood.  After several months of discussion they decided to get married.  She has grown a lot in the process and I'm sure that is just beginning!  But anyway, today I am a grandma!!!

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:43 AM
3 moms liked this

I imagine that was quite a shock, but momma it's not the end of the world. She could have come home and said "mom I have cancer". With good support she will do fine, 19 isn't that young.

rkoloms
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:43 AM
2 moms liked this

I am so sorry that you are faced with this.

Your daughter and her boyfriend are adults. You need to make very clear that your role here is doting grandmother; not babysitter and definitely not financial support.

SweetOrangeMama
by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I got pregnant with my first at 19 had her when I was 20. She is 15 now and I'm still married to her father although we were not married at the time. We also have an 18 month old son. It could all work out try not to panic. Good luck!

bamababe1975
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:21 AM
jadelily
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:59 AM


Quoting SweetOrangeMama:

I got pregnant with my first at 19 had her when I was 20. She is 15 now and I'm still married to her father although we were not married at the time.

This is exactly my story, pregnant at 19, baby at 20. We weren't married at the time, we did get married when dd was 6 months old. But now almost 15 years and two more kids later, we are still married and going strong! You never know how things will turn out :)

I wish you are your family the best of luck, and hope you can make the best of the situation!

2Young2BGran
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks for all the replies, and congratulations to the new grandma!  I know 19 is not that young, the guy is really nice, and it could be a lot worse.  It's just a real shock to the system.  I don't think her dad is going to handle it very well.  We were hoping to get her through college and into a "real" job before hitting the next big milestone.  I realize it's not all about me and her dad, but...  Trying to keep a healthy attitude.  Thanks for a place to vent.

WithDawn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Sweet blessed heart! So many thoughts and emotions going through your heart and mind... Everything will be okay, breath in breath out, you raised your daughter, she is smart, she will make sure everything will be okay, just like you have made everything okay, your a strong soul, I feel that from your words, take a few moments to tell her that you love her, give her thanks, for telling you, if she is close by as soon as you can hold her in your arms and let her cry, sometimes little ones just have to come, with your love and support she will do just fine, you and your husband may need a little time to hold each other and cry, but together with the support of both of you she can still walk across the path of education and the precious gift of Motherhood.... Has she been pregnant before? Why is she concerned about miscarrying the baby? She and the baby are fine. Today I will send thoughts and prayers your way, sometimes in life we have to live it moment by moment, one breath at a time....

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fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 7, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Wow, 2 months into the relationship and she's already pregnant??  I'm glad to see that she's not wanting an abortion because I figured that what the "might miscarry" was all about.  What would make her think she would miscarry? 

Cara5
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:40 PM
1 mom liked this

My almost-daughter (my dds bff, but I have claimed her as my own since she was 10 and she calls me mom) is 18 and had a beautiful little girl last november. 

Its scary and overwhelming for everyone involved, but its not like she did this to rebel or piss you off, it was probably an accident (yeah, I know, they knew there was a risk bla bla... but they did not mean for this to happen.) 

Be supportive. Ask her what you can do to help and what support she needs from you, but also establish boundires that dont compromise you and the rest of your family.  If yuo dont have the funds to help with money, tell her that. Explain that you will be all the emotional support she can stand, but if shes going to keep this baby it might be time to get a job. 


Kyle put her daughter up for adoption and a wonderful couple that we know adopted her. The adoption was an open one, so Kyle still gets to see her baby and visit every now and then.  

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