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Teen daughter just told me she's pregnant...

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Way to start off with a first post, right?  This morning over breakfast, my 19 year old daughter told me she had a positive on two pregnancy tests.  She is only a few weeks pregnant.  She is in college, has been dating the guy about two months, and doesn't want me to tell anyone yet because she might end up miscarrying anyway.  I am freaked out.  I need to talk to somebody, but don't want to talk to anybody until I tell my husband.  She is going to the doctor tomorrow with the boyfriend.  She says she has it all figured out, and that it is her choice (which is rich, seeing as how her dad and I are paying for everything, and the boyfriend doesn't have a summer job figured out yet). She does not want an abortion.  I just want to cry and I can't even do that because I work with my husband.  Hyperventilating right about now.

Sorry if this is the wrong forum or whatever else I may have done wrong by posting here -- Just need to get it out!!!

by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Replies (31-36):
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:29 PM

I was married at 18, pregnant by 19, and had a baby by 20. She's not too young, though she may be too immature. I don't know her like you do though. I understand your shock and concern, but give her support, that does not mean support her. But be there for her, she will be fine. It's life changing for sure, but not impossible. Help them get their priorities straight, and just remember- she's your daughter, no matter what, you love her unconditionally I'm sure, and you guys will get through this.

BTW, my oldest is now 15 and a great kid, so are my other 4. Even young parents can be good parents.

by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:30 PM

It may be your are just not sure how you are going to tell your husband.  It is very normal feelings you are having and we all only want the best for our kids.  She is a young adult and I am sure she has a good head on her shoulders.  Take a couple of days to soak it all in.  Im sure once dad knows the pressure will be lifted from you just a little and you will be able to absorb it a little more.  Best of luck to you and your family

by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:19 PM
Just support her please. I was 16 & had very little support. Since I've had many many apologies & compliments that I've done a great job
by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:42 PM
No matter what ALWAYS love and support her.
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by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:02 AM

Thanks again for listening.  Both hubby and I have told her we support her no matter what.  He is finally freaked out, but doing okay.  I'm convinced it will all work out.  This daughter (our only child) has never made life easy for us.  She has always been quite a handful, although getting pregnant was not something we saw coming (she's not a wild child, just very headstrong).  The whole college thing has been hot-and-cold with her from the start.  Strangely, now she seems more motivated to stay in school than ever.  (I will try to remain optimistic about the future of that...)

We have a very close extended family all the way around, so it will be interesting to see what happens with that.  DD told my sister, who was not in the least bit supportive.  To understand this, you would have to know my sister.  She loves my daughter and dotes on her, but is very concerned that my dd is immature.  She also tried for about 10 years to have a baby, and has basically given up.  I think she's got some issues there.  That's probably also why I'm strangely calm;  after the birth of my daughter 19 years ago, I never used birth control again, and have never become pregnant again.  I have two cousins (one on each side of the family) who tried for many years before finally getting one child, and on hubby's side, there are a lot of stillborns and miscarriages.  So.... I'm thinking this may possibly be my DD's one chance at having a baby.  Crazy to think that, I know, and maybe I'm justifying the situation.  Anyway, now I'm rambling, so I will let you go... Hugs back to all of you!

by on May. 24, 2012 at 8:56 AM

A quick update:  We are now in the third week of "knowing," and everything has been calming down, at least until last night.  The boyfriend was supposed to come over for dinner.  He never showed up, and is not answering his phone.  For various reasons, they have not seen each other in over a week, although there were no "problems" in the relationship.  There could be a simple explanation, but he lives on the next street over, and has still not contacted her this morning.  DD is upset, I am upset for her. 

Today, she is filling out an application to transfer to a closer college.  Please, if you are the praying type, please pray to give my daughter some good luck, or peace of mind, or patience with him, or whatever. My DD almost always gets the raw end of the deal, even when she is trying her best.  She deserves a break, poor kid. Thanks for listening.

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