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Boys Playing on a Girls Team and Vice Versa?

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:01 PM
  • 15 Replies

13-Year-Old Boy Kicked Off Girls' Field Hockey Team for Being 'Too Good'

Posted by Jeanne Sager

field hockeyWith all the stories in the news about girls being shunned for playing on a "boy's" team, it's hard to believe it's been 40 years since Title IX became federal law. And now for something completely different! A teenage boy is fighting officials at the head of a school field hockey league in Long Island because he wants to play on the same team ... as the girls.

Thirteen-year-old Keeling Pilaro allegedly got the boot from the team at the Southampton High School because he does well at the sport, which the county athletic officials say gives him an unfair advantage over the girls. His parents and even other girls in the league say that's not true: he's good but not the best. That seems to be why he's getting so much support around the interwebs, but frankly, they're all missing the bigger picture here.

I want my daughter to be considered "good enough" to play alongside boys on a team because she is a human being. Whether she can kick their butt or not is kind of beside the point (unless it comes to passing the tryouts ... then it very much is the point). She's human. She should get an equal chance to play.

If we want that for girls, we need that for our sons too. There are no special circumstances for equality. Either all genders are equal or they're not.

A boy like Pilaro deserves the same chance as the girls. And the way things stand, he's not getting it. Pilaro, who originally hails from Ireland, where field hockey is played by boys, doesn't have any other option to play the sport on Long Island. Like most places here in the states, there is no boys team for field hockey at Southampton or in neighboring schools. To deny him this chance is to cut him out for no reason other than what dangles between his legs. 

The point of Title IX isn't to simply protect our daughters from discrimination in sports. Excuse the round-about thinking here, but protecting our boys means protecting the right to protect our daughters. Confused? OK, look at it this way: allow one gender to be slighted. Now how do you argue that the other one should be protected? It's just like teaching your kindergartner they shouldn't hit because they don't like to be hit.

So maybe letting boys on girls' teams will make it harder on the girls because they're "too good." Good ... because now girls can get on boys' teams to make it harder for THEM when they are "too good." What's good for the goose, right?

What would you do if a boy wanted to play on your daughter's team or vice versa?

by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 7, 2012 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this
We have boys, girls, and some co ed teams for reasons.
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luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 2:19 PM
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If there is no equal for him to play on then he should get to play. It's the same for girls if there is no equal then they should have the opportunity to play on the boys team.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on May. 7, 2012 at 3:14 PM

 

Quoting luckysevenwow:

If there is no equal for him to play on then he should get to play. It's the same for girls if there is no equal then they should have the opportunity to play on the boys team.

I agree, my niece was on the boy's lacrosse team in HS, no girl's team, b y the time her senior year rolled around she was the team captain on the new girl's team.

cege
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2012 at 3:54 PM

I have no problem with it especially since there aren't other teams for him to play on.  My daughter played both ice hockey and roller hockey on predominantly male teams when she was younger. 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on May. 7, 2012 at 4:42 PM


Quoting luckysevenwow:

If there is no equal for him to play on then he should get to play. It's the same for girls if there is no equal then they should have the opportunity to play on the boys team.

Yep.


FindersKeepers
by on May. 7, 2012 at 5:48 PM

I am all for equal rights.... but we have to admit that Men and Women ARE physically different and do have different strengths and weaknesses.  

Of course I want my DD to know that she is the intellectual equal of any man and that she can do any job she wants... but at 4'9" and 90lbs she is NOT physically equal to boys her age and in some instances trying to handle a larger physical load 'to compete with a boy' could really hurt her. 

I have seen girls who are physically stronger/ faster/ bigger that can hold their own on a co-ed team.... and they like to play with the boys and want to have that option.  Perhaps this league should consider making an exception for this boy based on size/weight or open a co-ed league.  

FindersKeepers
by on May. 7, 2012 at 5:57 PM

When kids are little co-ed teams are very common because the kids are physically similar.... but near puberty and after there starts to be a significant height/ weight/ strength ratio that cannot just be ignored in an effort to promote 'equality'.   In many contact sports (male, female and co-ed) there are weight groups to help with fairplay and safety.  

I am not talking about ALL cases... we all know small boys and large girls but when you are building guidelines for general circumstances... it is hard to know what to do...

My sister is 5'4" 110lbs and played co-ed soccer into her 20s.   She was always strong and fast enough to complete with the boys.... but when she took up boxing... she boxed against other girls her size/ weight.   I just think the context of the sport needs to be considered and a blanket statement cannot be made for all sports. 


 

Quoting cege:

I have no problem with it especially since there aren't other teams for him to play on.  My daughter played both ice hockey and roller hockey on predominantly male teams when she was younger. 


PurpleHazey
by Angie on May. 7, 2012 at 6:38 PM

I was raeding that story.

PurpleHazey
by Angie on May. 7, 2012 at 6:48 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting luckysevenwow:

If there is no equal for him to play on then he should get to play. It's the same for girls if there is no equal then they should have the opportunity to play on the boys team.

I agree with you but here's the thing after they become a certain age boys become a lot stronger than girls and playing sports can become very competitive...Whether one wants to agree or not boys are different then girls and no they are not equal in some departments. It's not fair iif a boy is told to hold back because they are playing with girls....Sports are the same as they have always been and sports are a big thing with them...After a certain age I don't want my girls to play sports with the males and for that reason. He needs to find a boys group or team to play for.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 8:01 PM

I had the same initial thought, but if schools have to allow girls regardless of height, weight and size then they have to do the same for boys. We can not preach it one way but not allow it to happen the other way. Ideally the school creating a league for boys is the better option but if there isn't enough boys to play or enough money to make it happen then they have to allow him to play.

Quoting FindersKeepers:

I am all for equal rights.... but we have to admit that Men and Women ARE physically different and do have different strengths and weaknesses.  

Of course I want my DD to know that she is the intellectual equal of any man and that she can do any job she wants... but at 4'9" and 90lbs she is NOT physically equal to boys her age and in some instances trying to handle a larger physical load 'to compete with a boy' could really hurt her. 

I have seen girls who are physically stronger/ faster/ bigger that can hold their own on a co-ed team.... and they like to play with the boys and want to have that option.  Perhaps this league should consider making an exception for this boy based on size/weight or open a co-ed league.  


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