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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Rules for a 19yr? ***EDITED**

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:20 AM
  • 45 Replies

DD will be home from college in one day and I can't wait!  But, on the other hand I am not looking forward to the bullshit of a 19 yr old. LOL. 

Do any of you Moms of college kids set rules for the summer when they are home such as a curfew?  Giving them chores to do? 

I know she's been coming and going as she pleases at school and when she was home on Christmas and Spring break, she went out every night and "supposedly" came home at curfew, but I'll never know since I was asleep.  So I know she'll be looking to stay out later or sleep at a friends house.  I just don't want to fight with her about stupid things. 

Any advice?  Thank you :)

5/9-- UPDATE:   Is it normal for a 19 yr old to be going out somewhere with friends EVERY night of the week?  I see this as a problem since I think she should be home a couple of nights a week.  So I don't want to be a tyrant and set a curfew, but going out every night until whenever seems excessive.   My DH already is voicing his rules on what she will pay us for room and board insurance and phones, etc. and she should have a curfew, and yada, yada, yada which I don't agree on 100%.  I guess we will try the no curfew, show respect route, if she abuses it we can always impose a curfew, right? Thank you !  great advice!

by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2012 at 10:24 AM
10 moms liked this

Our rules when my sons came home from college was to live together in a respectful way. We are now adults living together. It is not my place to put demands on them. We asked that they keep common areas clean. WE all pitch in always have so that wasn't a big deal. Leave a note or call me if you won't be home for dinner. If you are planning to not come home at night call by 10 so I can shut the lights off and lock the door. If I was not going to be making dinner or dh and I were going out, I would let them know. If we were going away over night I would let them know. Its all about respecting each other at this time of your lives.

.KanaLee.
by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Enjoy your time with her....
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beeky
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

My daughter is 19 and home for the summer.  She is a legal adult and legal drinking age.  She does not have a curfew but she does have to let me know her plans.  She is expected to get a job and help out with chores around the house. 

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 9, 2012 at 10:49 AM

My 21 year old still lives at home.  Its your home and your rules.  Not her rules.  My dd needs to tell me if she won't be home.  IF she wants dinner she needs to tell me in advance.  Most evenings she is at boyfriends home or out so I don't plan on her.  She does her own laundry and has for years anyway.  She usually tells me her work schedule and what she is doing anyway  She always has.  She is going back to school part time starting in September.  I lived at home till I was married at 23.  I was living in my parents home.  IF I wanted my own rules I could move out. 

SnookiBoo
by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:54 AM

 Where do you live that the legal drinking age is 19? 

Quoting beeky:

My daughter is 19 and home for the summer.  She is a legal adult and legal drinking age.  She does not have a curfew but she does have to let me know her plans.  She is expected to get a job and help out with chores around the house. 

 

rkoloms
by on May. 9, 2012 at 10:57 AM

When I was in college, my parents made very clear that their house had their rules, and if I didn't like them, I could stay somewhere else.

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 9, 2012 at 10:58 AM

Her profile says Canada. 

Quoting SnookiBoo:

 Where do you live that the legal drinking age is 19? 

Quoting beeky:

My daughter is 19 and home for the summer.  She is a legal adult and legal drinking age.  She does not have a curfew but she does have to let me know her plans.  She is expected to get a job and help out with chores around the house. 

 


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beeky
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 10:58 AM


Quoting SnookiBoo:

 Where do you live that the legal drinking age is 19? 

Quoting beeky:

My daughter is 19 and home for the summer.  She is a legal adult and legal drinking age.  She does not have a curfew but she does have to let me know her plans.  She is expected to get a job and help out with chores around the house. 

 Ontario, Canada.  She is pissed because her dad grew up in England and I grew up in Quebec.  We were legal drinking age at 18.


SnookiBoo
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:00 AM

 Ha!  My DD would love to be at legal drinking age.  :)

 

Quoting beeky:

 

Quoting SnookiBoo:

 Where do you live that the legal drinking age is 19? 

Quoting beeky:

My daughter is 19 and home for the summer.  She is a legal adult and legal drinking age.  She does not have a curfew but she does have to let me know her plans.  She is expected to get a job and help out with chores around the house. 

 Ontario, Canada.  She is pissed because her dad grew up in England and I grew up in Quebec.  We were legal drinking age at 18.

 

 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 9, 2012 at 2:42 PM
2 moms liked this

I would inform your daughter that as long as she behaves in a manner that is adult she's good to go.  If she's not going to be home for dinner, she should let you know ASAP  so you don't cook for her.  If she's not going to be home tonight and staying at a friends, she should let you know.  You're not a hotel, you're mom and it is the adult thing to do.

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