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Using facebook to meet boys when I am at work

Posted by on May. 15, 2012 at 6:17 PM
  • 23 Replies

My 15 year old daughter keeps using facebook to meet boys while I am at work to have sex. She has been doing this since the age of 14. It may have been earlier but I found out when she was 14. She acted so sad and told me she would never do it again and I eventually let up on her after a few months of punishment. She is now doing it again.

She has a 3 hour window before I make it home. I have taken away the internet at home, I refuse to give her a cell phone, and I made sure she was involved in after school activites. Now I recently found out, she is using her after school sports to have sex on the school buses and at school. When she doesn't have practice, she steals my phone to set up "dates" with guys whenever, I am in the shower, or in my bed sleeping. Whenver she can get my phone to tell the boys I will be gone from home she uses the oppurtunity. I thought she was on the right track. She was involved in activites and her grades had skyrocketed.

I am finding all this out because she has an older sister and older cousin who are extremely worried just as am. They have found some way to access her facebook account. I don't know how they did it but I am glad they have brought this to my attention again. I don't know how to handle it. She only cares about her image, the latest clothes, and sex. Nothing else matters to her. She uses words on the internet that I would never think to use and she even seems to use the site to bully a few other girls. This is not the child I am raising. She turns into a totally different person when she is away from home.

I've talked to her, I've prayed with her, I've punished her. What is left to do? I try to take her every place I go but sometimes I can't take her. The summer is coming up and I am terrified to even have her in any program because she uses every oppurtunity of freedom to just have more sex. I know leaving her at home is not an option though. I can't trust her at this point anymore to stay home for even a few minutes by hersef. Does anyone have any advice? Most of our family members work as well so I don't have anywhere I can send her where she can be monitored all day. 

by on May. 15, 2012 at 6:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momabear455
by on May. 15, 2012 at 7:41 PM
2 moms liked this

Sounds like she needs counseling, why is she needing to have so much sex, does she feel unloved?  Since you can't moniter her every move, I would get her into counseling with a good counselor, they are'nt all good! and moniter as much as you can and put her in counseling, tell her if the behavior doesn't stop she may be going to a juvenille detention center!!!!

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 15, 2012 at 7:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Can you have a sitter?  Or your older daughter?

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 15, 2012 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this

She needs boot camp and counseling and everything inbetween.  Just having sex at 15 is bad, but sleeping around like that, wonder what diseases she has already.  Very sad. 

msgator04
by on May. 15, 2012 at 8:25 PM

Unfortunately, her sister is away at college the majority of the time. I do think I should start looking for counselors and a sitter at this point. She doesn't even think about diseases she can catch. She only worries about pregnancy and obviously thinks a condom can protect her from everything. This is breaking my heart. I can't figure out where I failed her. 

E_is_4_Ethan
by on May. 15, 2012 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this

have you talked to the school counselor. If the school is aware of the situation they can help. Also therapy. She may need medication.

put a lock on your bedroom door. Put the PC in your room, along with whatever else....cell phone...etc.

my SD14 (I'm CSM) has bipolar (not saying your DD is), so I know how hard it is. You can't keep them locked up no matter how much you want to. 

E_is_4_Ethan
by on May. 15, 2012 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting msgator04:

Unfortunately, her sister is away at college the majority of the time. I do think I should start looking for counselors and a sitter at this point. She doesn't even think about diseases she can catch. She only worries about pregnancy and obviously thinks a condom can protect her from everything. This is breaking my heart. I can't figure out where I failed her. 

you did not fail her! There is something deeper going on here. Where is dad?

drfink
by Emily on May. 15, 2012 at 9:25 PM
1 mom liked this

She definitely needs to be receiving some therapy.That she is driven to have sex in this way is indicative of several issues.Punishment will not stop her.When looking for a proper therapist look for someone that specializes in adolescents and sexual issues.When calling the office ask what the therapist specializes or has an interest  in. Don't tell them what type of speciality you are looking for because some will say yes to anything.

Don't blame yourself !

Refurbished
by on May. 15, 2012 at 11:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Boot camp is a bad idea.  I have a relative that did that with their teen, and the results were disasterous.  He got to bunk with six other rebellious teens, and they all ended up swaping ideas on how to get away with stuff.  He also came back smoking cigarettes, which he had never had access to before.

Quoting atlmom2:

She needs boot camp and counseling and everything inbetween.  Just having sex at 15 is bad, but sleeping around like that, wonder what diseases she has already.  Very sad. 


atlmom2
by Susie on May. 15, 2012 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I know kids that straighted up after 6 months in boot camp.  I guess it just depends on the camp and who is running it. 

Quoting Refurbished:

Boot camp is a bad idea.  I have a relative that did that with their teen, and the results were disasterous.  He got to bunk with six other rebellious teens, and they all ended up swaping ideas on how to get away with stuff.  He also came back smoking cigarettes, which he had never had access to before.

Quoting atlmom2:

She needs boot camp and counseling and everything inbetween.  Just having sex at 15 is bad, but sleeping around like that, wonder what diseases she has already.  Very sad. 



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pinkyheather
by on May. 16, 2012 at 1:15 AM

wow, maybe a chastity belt? that's metal and electrified? seriously though, no advice good luck and hope you figure something about before becoming a grandma way before you should!!

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