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My 14 year old thinks hes gay and Mom's having a hard time dealing with it!

Posted by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:14 PM
  • 164 Replies

My 14 year old has been bullied all his life about the way he runs and talks.  They have called him gay for the past three years now.  He was molested when he was eight by a relative (a cousin close to his age, another boy).  He has come to me and thinks he may be gay.  I want to believe he's not and that the treatment he has gotten over the years is having an impact on him.  He is a bit immature for his age, he has no friends and has no confidence.  There is so much to tell but having a hard time putting in words.  This past year, he has been felt on and poked, boys pretending to ask him out on a date.  He's confused and two days before school let out he texted me saying "I don't know if I can do this anymore".  Do you have any idea what goes through a mothers mind when you get a text like that.  I went to the school and filed a formal complaint with the school and local authorities to stop this bullying but the damage is done and I dont know how to deal with it.  Can someone help, my husband refuses to address it, I have no one to talk to.


by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rkoloms
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:26 PM
4 moms liked this

This is a very good resource:  http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2; find a local support group.

PortiaRose
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:28 PM
14 moms liked this

maybe start with not saying "my 14 year old son THINKS he's gay"

momofne
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:46 PM
21 moms liked this

Weather he is gay or not bulling should not be tollerated by the school. Stick to your guns about it with the school and make sure he knows you will always be there for him. I would also tell your husband that he needs to support his son no matter what also. I would also suggest that maybe he needs counseling of some sort to help him with his own feelings and the bulling.

peacheylady
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:50 PM
2 moms liked this
Took the words out of my fingers. My thoughts exactly.

Quoting momofne:

Weather he is gay or not bulling should not be tollerated by the school. Stick to your guns about it with the school and make sure he knows you will always be there for him. I would also tell your husband that he needs to support his son no matter what also. I would also suggest that maybe he needs counseling of some sort to help him with his own feelings and the bulling.

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02nana07
by Ida on May. 22, 2012 at 12:50 PM
7 moms liked this

 1st maybe you should home school to make sure he isn't bullied.  Have a talk with him and let him know you love him and being gay won't change that.  Tell him you are there if he needs to talk.  Find support groups in your area for both you and him to help you deal with this if you are having a problem with it.

nicole1319
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:50 PM
3 moms liked this

Just let him know that you love him..Tell him that he can come to you for anything anytime.  He is your son regardless if you and your dh are having a hard time with him being gay.  I don't mean to sound harsh, I have had freinds that have done things.....when they have thought there is no one who cares about them.  *HUGS*If you need to vent talk please feel free to send me a message :)

LancesMom
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:54 PM
2 moms liked this

Hugs! Have you thought about getting him into counseling. He really needs to talk to someone who can help him work through his feelings. He needs to know he is ok and that others are bullies!

mcr17
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:56 PM
11 moms liked this

support him, gay or not. he needs your love during such a confusing time in his life.

Emy520
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:10 PM
2 moms liked this

 I agree with all the ladies. What your son needs is lots of support and love from you and your husband. Counseling would be a great help also for him.  Good luck with everything.  Just remember your a great mom and you can get thru this. group hug

corkeyw4
by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:37 PM
3 moms liked this

Thanks to all of you, I guess I just needed to hear it. I have talked to him and we have had him in counseling.  The counselor released him because my son felt he was ready to deal with it.  I think he is ok with himself he just doesnt know how to handle the bullying.  My son is a very sweet, non-aggressive child that wants everybody to like him.  And for the most part, I think they do like him but don't want to be linked to him in any special way because they too want to fit in.  It is just a very hard age.  I just wish for him one friend but in this small town it isnt going to happen because he has been tagged as gay.  But thank you for your responses, it helps to know there are good people out there.

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