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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teenage Daughter unmotivated to work and earn money

Posted by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:32 AM
  • 32 Replies

I'm new to this forum and a single mom and thought it woud be a good place to start.

My teenage daughter is a typical teenager, but I'm unsure on how to deal with her unwillingness to go the extra mile at home. She is a straight A student and all her teachers love her. However, she gets home and is completely unmotivated to do things around the house and doesn't want to try and find a summer job to earn money (driver's training is right around the corner).

I don't know how to motivate her to doing more and thinking of others first. I know you'll say it's the typical teenager stuff, but I have to think that she can be better than that.

She wants stuff and her dad typically spoils her, which doesn't help.

How do I get her to be more motivated and to realize that she needs to have a better work ethic than the one she currently has - which is to just sit and be lazy? All of this without ruining our good relationship.

HELP!

by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
andersongirl562
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:34 AM
I don't give my kids an allowance so if they want money they have to do extra chord to earn it
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Juanita679
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:36 AM
bump


LancesMom
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Have you sat down and told her she will not go through drivers training w/o paying for it. It costs this much and she needs to cover (all, half, part) of it?

Good luck!

Jerzymom
by Member on May. 24, 2012 at 11:42 AM

 I feel your pain.  My daughter is the same way. I ask her to help me at dinner. Set table, clean up. Easy stuff. Everyone in my household has responsibilities. Her twin brothers take out the garbage and recyclables.

She actually has shown an interest in getting a job. It got as far as getting the application all filled out but, has not returned it to the store she wants to work at.  So when you figure out how to motivate your teen, give me a shout.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 24, 2012 at 11:57 AM

Have you talked to her father and asked him to help you out with this?

Amy09292012
by on May. 24, 2012 at 12:13 PM

I don't pay her for chores unless she actually does them without complaint - which is rare.

She doesn't think at almost 15 that she could get a job, but she hasn't tried either.

Her dad just laughs things off and takes nothing seriously. I've asked in the past and he says he'll talk to her but he never does. It interferes with his wants and needs in life :(

MB13
by on May. 24, 2012 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

You and dad need to be on the same page.  Sit down and make a list of expectations and follow through.  If she wants a phone, she must......, if she want to drive, she must.....  Make a list of household expectations and also what you expect her to do about a job.  If she fails to follow through, she can not afford to pay for her phone, computer, new clothes, driving, gas, insurance, etc.

Quoting fantasticfour:

Have you talked to her father and asked him to help you out with this?


OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2012 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Do not buy her things or give her money.  Get on the same page with her father on how to handle it.  She'll get sick of not being able to have the things she wants and will (hopefully) realize she has to work to get money, or an allowance.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2012 at 12:41 PM
2 moms liked this
You can have a good relatioship and still have rules and expectations...as this PP said...


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

Do not buy her things or give her money.  Get on the same page with her father on how to handle it.  She'll get sick of not being able to have the things she wants and will (hopefully) realize she has to work to get money, or an allowance.


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Cake.Lady
by on May. 24, 2012 at 12:59 PM

Oh, I don't know. My kids won't have to work as teens. I would rather them focus on their education, extra curriculars and earning scholarships for college. 

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