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Why can't my 13yr. old son stop looking at Nude Females?!? HELP!!!!

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Hello Ladies.

So my heart is broken today. Last night is the third time that I've found my son browsing for pictures of nude females over a period of about two years. We've talked about it. He saw me emotionally break down the first time because he's my oldest of three. My first born. My baby... Well, at least he WAS...

I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't even tell him that I saw it. He knows that I check his phone from time to time. What'swrong with him???? Is this natural??? Is he going to grow up and be some kind of pervert addicted to women and porn??? He's not a bad kid. He's very sweet and he loves me so much. Why does he disrespect me and all females like this????

Ladies... please help mend my broken heart!!!!

by on May. 24, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Replies (21-30):
2boys_1girl
by on May. 24, 2012 at 9:48 PM


Quoting atlmom2:

Addictions to porn isn't good.  Explain to him it is very degrading to women also for men to act like that.  Looking at a wife or girlfriend is one thing but porn, no.  I don't have boys either, thank goodness, I guess. 


Something tells me he is curious. Not addicted.

annie2244
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2012 at 10:07 PM

It's SO normal. In fact, get him his own playboy subscription. Show him lots of websites he may not have stumbled across on his own. Take him to some strip clubs. He's just a healthy american boy, and really, our culture's all about obsession with women's breasts and with sex. So, as one mom after another is assuring you, this is so normal and healthy, encourage and foster this, it's fab.

Shockerchik
by on May. 24, 2012 at 10:14 PM
1 mom liked this

In my opinion---there is a big difference between being curious and looking at pornography. I would never think it was "normal" for my child to look at porn....it's like a pandoras box--once its open and there, its always there. He will always know what porn and porn images in that context (on the internet) are because he has seen it.

I think the best thing you can do at this point is maybe have his father or a doctor or someone teach him about healthy sexuality............let him look at some national geographics where it explors natural body types. I have no idea really--that's just a suggestion. But I wouldn't want my teenage son looking at porn and just guessing it would be a natural thing he will get over someday....

PartyGalAnne
by on May. 24, 2012 at 11:59 PM

He's a hot blooded American teenage boy.

It would be more odd if he WASN'T looking!!

Start an open dialogue NOW about masturbation and safe sex. You're the parent here.

orngblsm
by on May. 25, 2012 at 10:22 PM
3 moms liked this

He is not disrespecting you, per se.  Of course, he is a good kid.  He is a totally normal, curious 13-year-old who is entering puberty.  There is no need for you to have a broken heart.  He is growing up, mom.  You have to realize that sometime.  Believe me, he could be doing worse things.  Enjoy his sweetness while you have it, in a few years you will wonder if a pod person came and switched him out.  Don't worry though, they become human again when they hit their twenties.  (I have four boys.  Two through the teenage years and two in the middle of them.)  I will admit the first one was the hardest because I had to learn to let go and let him grow up.  The best thing you or his dad can do is talk with him about women and relationships (age-appropriate, of course), S-E-X and children and responsibilities.  When you talk with him, don't make a big production out of it.  Keep it low-key, informational style and without siblings present.   Whether or not he admits it, he is going to have questions.  He is already looking for answers.  Where do you want him to find them?  From the internet, school, and his friends or from you.

 

angeltink7
by Member on May. 26, 2012 at 12:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I grew up with 4 brothers and can tell you it is completely normal.  3 times in two years is nothing and be prepared if the other two kids are boys it could be worse with them.  My brothers had a stash of magazines they found in the garbage.  They had some hidden in the neighborhood and some under their matresses.  They were and always have been very loving and respectful of women. 

You need to take a deep breath and know it is not that he disrespects you and all females it is that he is a male and a child who is curious.  Please don't take it personal or let it break your heart.

 

 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on May. 26, 2012 at 6:12 AM


Quoting rkoloms:

Guess what! You have a male, heterosexual son.
Now is a great time to talk to him about respect for women

agree.

It's natural to be curious.

MrsBLB
by on May. 26, 2012 at 12:40 PM

This

Quoting rkoloms:

Guess what! You have a male, heterosexual son.
Now is a great time to talk to him about respect for women


tyfry7496
by on May. 26, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Very good!! Its along the lines of what I was thinking.

Quoting 2boys_1girl:

Why can't my 13yr. old son stop looking at Nude Females?!?


Because he is a 13 year old boy.


Seriously.


BTW I think your reaction the first time was a little overboard. The kid shouldn't feel guilty for being curious. Now you have certainly steered him away from EVER wanting to talk to you about sex.


Chill out. I am a girl and I remember trying to watch the scrambled porn channels as a young teen because I wanted to know more about sex. It is SO normal.


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tyfry7496
by on May. 26, 2012 at 3:08 PM
Yeah I agree. 3 times in as many years isn't addiction.

Quoting 2boys_1girl:



Quoting atlmom2:


Addictions to porn isn't good.  Explain to him it is very degrading to women also for men to act like that.  Looking at a wife or girlfriend is one thing but porn, no.  I don't have boys either, thank goodness, I guess. 



Something tells me he is curious. Not addicted.

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