Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do Rich Kids Deserve Scholarships?

Kids of Rich Parents Deserve College Scholarships Too

Posted by Jeanne Sager

P. Diddy Justin CombsJustin Combs should be on top of the world right now. P. Diddy's son just graduated from high school with a 3.75 GPA, and an offer from UCLA to play on their Division 1 football team. They've even offered him a scholarship to sweeten the deal. So what kind of world are we living in where a kid like that is getting beat up in the press and asked to give the money back?

A world where we still put more emphasis on money than we do kids' own abilities. Hey, America! This is why kids are lazy!

Here's the thing. Justin Combs has a rich daddy. And there are people, a lot of people, who are PO'd that a rich kid is getting a $54,000 scholarship to a state institution when so many other kids are struggling under the weight of student loans. As a mom who probably has less money in her bank account than Diddy has hanging around his neck at any given moment, I'll cop to a little jealousy myself.

That's why I tell my kid she has to work, and work hard. That's what all kids are supposed to do to get ahead, right?

But if kids like Justin Combs have to give back their scholarship money, and their parents are made to pay their tuition, we're telling them the exact opposite. What does that say to a child who worked hard to get good grades and excel on the field? It tells them there is no reason to have a work ethic. Because whatever you do, you're judged not on your accomplishments but the size of your parents' wallet.

Let's flip this, shall we? Imagine Justin was a poor kid with bad grades and zero athletic talent who cut school and did nothing to improve himself. Would you tell a school they need to give him a scholarship because his parents can't pay, and his lack of motivation does not matter? Of course not.

As parents, it's our job to raise our kids to succeed without us. Once they're ready for college, they must be able to survive on their own merits. The mettle of our character, the size of our bank accounts, all of that becomes moot when we push a child out the doors and into the world. They are their own person, to be judged on what they can do.

What do you think should happen with Justin Combs' scholarship?

Should P. Diddy be paying UCLA?

by on May. 29, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Replies (21-30):
JKronrod
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:21 PM

Unfortunately, not always.  It depends on the school.  A lot of the packages, especially for state schools are heavily loan dependent.  The head of my son's school actually told him that going to a private college with a good endowment (i.e., that gave outright grants rather than loans) was going to be cheaper that going to a state school.  Now, in my son's case it didn't matter (I don't think the school realized what our income was), but for a poorer kid, a state school can actually cost more -- or more precisely, the poorer kid "wins" on the aid, but ends up more heavily in debt if he goes to a state school. 

Quoting atlmom2:

A poor kid that has worked hard will most likely get way more money than the rich kid because they can get need based and merit based aid.  Poor kid with a 4.0 and rich kid with 4.0, poor kid wins for sure on the aid. 

Quoting PinkieRed:

I get what she's (the other mom) is saying though.

What if UCLA had a choice between giving a $54,000 scholarship to a qualified studen from an average middle-class family, who can't qualify for need based aid, but can pay little or nothing towards their kid's tuition OR could give that $54,000 to an equally qualified kid from a rich and/or famous family? Would it be OK to choose to give it to the kid from the rich family just because of the prestige they'll bring to the school?

And I'm certainly not saying all scholarships should be needs based, but, shouldn't doing well enough academically to get into the college of your choice be motivation enough to get good grades (for kids from well off families who don't need financial aid)?

As far as sports scholarships go, I don't have a problem with them as long as student athletes are held to the same academic standards as any other scholarship student, and if equal money is given out for academic scholarships.


Quoting atlmom2:

It would open up a can of worms if all is need based. My. DD and many others would get nothing and no incentive to do well. That makes the poor kids entitled and I dont agree. They get aid others cant get already.




Quoting whitedaisies:

it's a very double edged sword - yes he deserves it for working so hard, but i kind of blame the school. maybe an award or recognition ceremony would have been just as flattering in this situation. my theory is only so much scholarship and grant money is distributed. it could have gone to another student with the same gpa that could actually benefit from the scholarship. if justin was accepted to the college anyway and chose to go there, his dad would have no problem paying the tuition. many kids have to make these decisions based on affordability.


 


atlmom2
by Susie on May. 29, 2012 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

The thing is who is to decide who is rich enough to never get any scholarships even if they have a 4.0 and who should get one?  To me, IF its merit based, I don't care.  I wish my dd had more money and we can afford to pay her way to a private University.  She earned what she got and if it was more, so be it.  What incentive do kids have if they know they don't have to do well for scholarships, need based or merit????

Quoting brlee1115:

I think anybody who earned it, should get it. However, if your parents can pay for the tuition without blinking an eye, I think they should give it to someone that's less fortunate.

My old boss was loaded, and so was her husband. She did every scholarship profect for her daughter, and got her entire college tuition paid for! Very wrong, since they could both afford it.


Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 29, 2012 at 5:26 PM

State schools still give full rides for merit.  My nephew had a full ride to Purdue which is a state school.  His parents are not loaded at all, middle class.  He had a 4.0 gpa and that wasn't including any loans and it wasn't sports based. He turned it down to pay a crap load and have loans to a private school instead.  I don't understand it. 

Quoting JKronrod:

Unfortunately, not always.  It depends on the school.  A lot of the packages, especially for state schools are heavily loan dependent.  The head of my son's school actually told him that going to a private college with a good endowment (i.e., that gave outright grants rather than loans) was going to be cheaper that going to a state school.  Now, in my son's case it didn't matter (I don't think the school realized what our income was), but for a poorer kid, a state school can actually cost more -- or more precisely, the poorer kid "wins" on the aid, but ends up more heavily in debt if he goes to a state school. 

Quoting atlmom2:

A poor kid that has worked hard will most likely get way more money than the rich kid because they can get need based and merit based aid.  Poor kid with a 4.0 and rich kid with 4.0, poor kid wins for sure on the aid. 

Quoting PinkieRed:

I get what she's (the other mom) is saying though.

What if UCLA had a choice between giving a $54,000 scholarship to a qualified studen from an average middle-class family, who can't qualify for need based aid, but can pay little or nothing towards their kid's tuition OR could give that $54,000 to an equally qualified kid from a rich and/or famous family? Would it be OK to choose to give it to the kid from the rich family just because of the prestige they'll bring to the school?

And I'm certainly not saying all scholarships should be needs based, but, shouldn't doing well enough academically to get into the college of your choice be motivation enough to get good grades (for kids from well off families who don't need financial aid)?

As far as sports scholarships go, I don't have a problem with them as long as student athletes are held to the same academic standards as any other scholarship student, and if equal money is given out for academic scholarships.


Quoting atlmom2:

It would open up a can of worms if all is need based. My. DD and many others would get nothing and no incentive to do well. That makes the poor kids entitled and I dont agree. They get aid others cant get already.




Quoting whitedaisies:

it's a very double edged sword - yes he deserves it for working so hard, but i kind of blame the school. maybe an award or recognition ceremony would have been just as flattering in this situation. my theory is only so much scholarship and grant money is distributed. it could have gone to another student with the same gpa that could actually benefit from the scholarship. if justin was accepted to the college anyway and chose to go there, his dad would have no problem paying the tuition. many kids have to make these decisions based on affordability.





Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

PinkieRed
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:30 PM
2 moms liked this
And to me that would be only fair, if the poor kid simply couldn't go to college, period, without financial aid from the college, while the rich kid kid could.

If I was well off enough financially to pay 100% of my daughter's college tuition out of pocket, but she got a substantial merit or athletic scholarship, which she didn't need, I would donate a nice big chunk of money to the school to help out less fortunate students who need assistance to be able to go to college at all. I would feel good being able to do that.

My daughter's elementary school tuition, at her school for special needs kids, is $11,200 a year, but my husband and I have received enough needs bases financial assistance from the school every year, for the past 3 years, to cover about 75% of the cost of her tuition. We would not have been able to send her there otherwise, and I am so thankful for the help. I hope one day I'll be in a good enough financial position to be able to donate some money to the school for financial aid. I would love to be able to help out another struggling family who would not be able to send their child to that school without help.

I guess I believe in that saying, "to whom much is given, much is required", and so if I was very fortunate financially, I would feel a duty to help out someone who has less, whether through donating to a scholarship fund or whatever. So if I was in P. Diddy's position, yes, I sure as heck would give some money to UCLA for scholarships for some needy kids.

Quoting atlmom2:

A poor kid that has worked hard will most likely get way more money than the rich kid because they can get need based and merit based aid.  Poor kid with a 4.0 and rich kid with 4.0, poor kid wins for sure on the aid. 


Quoting PinkieRed:

I get what she's (the other mom) is saying though.



What if UCLA had a choice between giving a $54,000 scholarship to a qualified studen from an average middle-class family, who can't qualify for need based aid, but can pay little or nothing towards their kid's tuition OR could give that $54,000 to an equally qualified kid from a rich and/or famous family? Would it be OK to choose to give it to the kid from the rich family just because of the prestige they'll bring to the school?



And I'm certainly not saying all scholarships should be needs based, but, shouldn't doing well enough academically to get into the college of your choice be motivation enough to get good grades (for kids from well off families who don't need financial aid)?



As far as sports scholarships go, I don't have a problem with them as long as student athletes are held to the same academic standards as any other scholarship student, and if equal money is given out for academic scholarships.





Quoting atlmom2:

It would open up a can of worms if all is need based. My. DD and many others would get nothing and no incentive to do well. That makes the poor kids entitled and I dont agree. They get aid others cant get already.







Quoting whitedaisies:

it's a very double edged sword - yes he deserves it for working so hard, but i kind of blame the school. maybe an award or recognition ceremony would have been just as flattering in this situation. my theory is only so much scholarship and grant money is distributed. it could have gone to another student with the same gpa that could actually benefit from the scholarship. if justin was accepted to the college anyway and chose to go there, his dad would have no problem paying the tuition. many kids have to make these decisions based on affordability.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
brlee1115
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting atlmom2:

The thing is who is to decide who is rich enough to never get any scholarships even if they have a 4.0 and who should get one?  To me, IF its merit based, I don't care.  I wish my dd had more money and we can afford to pay her way to a private University.  She earned what she got and if it was more, so be it.  What incentive do kids have if they know they don't have to do well for scholarships, need based or merit????

Quoting brlee1115:

I think anybody who earned it, should get it. However, if your parents can pay for the tuition without blinking an eye, I think they should give it to someone that's less fortunate.

My old boss was loaded, and so was her husband. She did every scholarship profect for her daughter, and got her entire college tuition paid for! Very wrong, since they could both afford it.

 

There isn't any incentive if they don't have to do well. Their parents will foot the bill.

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 29, 2012 at 5:38 PM


Quoting brlee1115:


Quoting atlmom2:

The thing is who is to decide who is rich enough to never get any scholarships even if they have a 4.0 and who should get one?  To me, IF its merit based, I don't care.  I wish my dd had more money and we can afford to pay her way to a private University.  She earned what she got and if it was more, so be it.  What incentive do kids have if they know they don't have to do well for scholarships, need based or merit????

Quoting brlee1115:

I think anybody who earned it, should get it. However, if your parents can pay for the tuition without blinking an eye, I think they should give it to someone that's less fortunate.

My old boss was loaded, and so was her husband. She did every scholarship profect for her daughter, and got her entire college tuition paid for! Very wrong, since they could both afford it.


There isn't any incentive if they don't have to do well. Their parents will foot the bill.

You still have to do well to get in colleges.  Money can't buy kids way in.  Some schools take kids with lower gpa's that are minorities also.  Life isn't fair so lets be real here.  Kids that are poor and lower middle class still get govt. money and lots of it sometimes.  Others get merit aid and that is it.  They have to work to get money.  Others can have ok gpa's and get money from the govt. 

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

FindersKeepers
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:41 PM

He EARNED the scholarship with his grades and athletic ability so he should enjoy it.   

Just because the parents are wealthy does not mean that they should pay for college for their kids.... I never really thought of Puff Daddy as and actually 'daddy'... but I am quite impressed that he raised a child that qualified for an athletic scholarship while maintaining excellent grades.    Those scholarships are very competitive to get and it is an accomplishment.    He has proven to not be a 'spoiled rich kid' who expects everything to be handed to him.... One less Paris Hilton in the world is fine with me... 

As far as I am concerned anyone that thinks he should give it back.... is a jealous whine bag

FindersKeepers
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:44 PM

I had this same experience... my parents could have afforded to help me, but decided it would mean more if I did it myself.... It did suck not being able to qualify for financial aid because of their income and have to work 1-3 jobs all the time to make it.... Good for you to put yourself through school.   

I would consider that earning a scholarship = paying for school for yourself.   It's not like they just hand out money.... scholarships are very competitive.

Quoting 02nana07:

I think it depends my mother had plenty of money but wouldn't help me I worked 2 jobs to put myself through college because I couldn't get help because they counted her income.  A parents income and money doesn't belong to the person going to college so it shouldn't count against the child.


PinkieRed
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:47 PM
Well, you do have to be fairly poor to get Pell grants.

But Pell grants have been shrinking over the years, as college tuition costs have been skyrocketing. So Pell grants any more barely make a dent in the average college tuition.

Back in the 60's and 70's, a poor college student could likely get through 4 years of college at a state university on Pell grants alone.

Today they almost certainly couldn't, and unless they are bright or talented enough to get merit based scholarships too, they're likely either going to have to take out loans or work to pay the remainder of their tuition.

Not that working during college is a bad thing, I'm just saying that few poor students are going to get a free ride through college just on federal financial aid alone.


Quoting atlmom2:



Quoting brlee1115:



Quoting atlmom2:


The thing is who is to decide who is rich enough to never get any scholarships even if they have a 4.0 and who should get one?  To me, IF its merit based, I don't care.  I wish my dd had more money and we can afford to pay her way to a private University.  She earned what she got and if it was more, so be it.  What incentive do kids have if they know they don't have to do well for scholarships, need based or merit????


Quoting brlee1115:


I think anybody who earned it, should get it. However, if your parents can pay for the tuition without blinking an eye, I think they should give it to someone that's less fortunate.


My old boss was loaded, and so was her husband. She did every scholarship profect for her daughter, and got her entire college tuition paid for! Very wrong, since they could both afford it.




There isn't any incentive if they don't have to do well. Their parents will foot the bill.

You still have to do well to get in colleges.  Money can't buy kids way in.  Some schools take kids with lower gpa's that are minorities also.  Life isn't fair so lets be real here.  Kids that are poor and lower middle class still get govt. money and lots of it sometimes.  Others get merit aid and that is it.  They have to work to get money.  Others can have ok gpa's and get money from the govt. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JKronrod
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:50 PM

I probably should have specified that mostly I'm taking about California -- and obviously there will be different cases, which is why I said "not always."   I just haven't seen a lot of full ride scholorships out here for scholastic merit.  What I have seen is a lot of loan-based packages, at least among my son's friends.  It's rather sad.  In at least one case, my son's friend (middle class) got into his top choice (out-of-state state school), but the family decided that he couldn't go because the package was all loans.  He would have ended up insanely in debt, even with family contributions.  He's doing the community college transfer thing now.   

Quoting atlmom2:

State schools still give full rides for merit.  My nephew had a full ride to Purdue which is a state school.  His parents are not loaded at all, middle class.  He had a 4.0 gpa and that wasn't including any loans and it wasn't sports based. He turned it down to pay a crap load and have loans to a private school instead.  I don't understand it. 

Quoting JKronrod:

Unfortunately, not always.  It depends on the school.  A lot of the packages, especially for state schools are heavily loan dependent.  The head of my son's school actually told him that going to a private college with a good endowment (i.e., that gave outright grants rather than loans) was going to be cheaper that going to a state school.  Now, in my son's case it didn't matter (I don't think the school realized what our income was), but for a poorer kid, a state school can actually cost more -- or more precisely, the poorer kid "wins" on the aid, but ends up more heavily in debt if he goes to a state school. 

Quoting atlmom2:

A poor kid that has worked hard will most likely get way more money than the rich kid because they can get need based and merit based aid.  Poor kid with a 4.0 and rich kid with 4.0, poor kid wins for sure on the aid. 

Quoting PinkieRed:

I get what she's (the other mom) is saying though.

What if UCLA had a choice between giving a $54,000 scholarship to a qualified studen from an average middle-class family, who can't qualify for need based aid, but can pay little or nothing towards their kid's tuition OR could give that $54,000 to an equally qualified kid from a rich and/or famous family? Would it be OK to choose to give it to the kid from the rich family just because of the prestige they'll bring to the school?

And I'm certainly not saying all scholarships should be needs based, but, shouldn't doing well enough academically to get into the college of your choice be motivation enough to get good grades (for kids from well off families who don't need financial aid)?

As far as sports scholarships go, I don't have a problem with them as long as student athletes are held to the same academic standards as any other scholarship student, and if equal money is given out for academic scholarships.


Quoting atlmom2:

It would open up a can of worms if all is need based. My. DD and many others would get nothing and no incentive to do well. That makes the poor kids entitled and I dont agree. They get aid others cant get already.




Quoting whitedaisies:

it's a very double edged sword - yes he deserves it for working so hard, but i kind of blame the school. maybe an award or recognition ceremony would have been just as flattering in this situation. my theory is only so much scholarship and grant money is distributed. it could have gone to another student with the same gpa that could actually benefit from the scholarship. if justin was accepted to the college anyway and chose to go there, his dad would have no problem paying the tuition. many kids have to make these decisions based on affordability.


 

 

 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)