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does ur teen have alot of friends??

Posted by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 7:27 PM
  • 36 Replies

do they hang out with their friends every weekend? do they stay around the same group of friends all the time? my daughter will be 13 in 13 days... and im a lil worried because it seems like she really dont hang out with many girls.. she does have friends in school, she is very well liked and is a star athlete but when it comes to the weekends everyone is hanging out with everyone and shes sitting at home.. she has 2 girls that come over but thats it.. i said to her why dont u text some of ur friends and see what they are doing tonite.. alll she says is oh i did but they are already hanging with other people. i dont understand it.. i want her to have fun, make memories with friends.. maybe im thinking too much into it.. and maybe its cuz when i was growing up i didnt have many friends at all.. i didnt fit in with the popular groups, i had hand me down clothes so i got made fun of alot and i wasnt pretty at all... i think back to my teenage years and i can honestly say i hated it.. i didnt have fun, i didnt go to the beach with my friends, etc... i just want her to look back and say i enjoyed my teenage years.. i know she has plenty of time shes only 13 but still...ughhhh.. am i being overly dramatic..lol

by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 7:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 1, 2012 at 7:54 PM
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My oldest always had lots of friends and hung out every single weekend.  My youngest prefered a few good friends.  I would say this year, her senior year, she ventured out a little more and added a few more people she hung out with.  I always hung out with friends too.  I went skating just about every Friday and Saturday for years and years and years.  Everyone did. 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jun. 1, 2012 at 7:55 PM
1 mom liked this

My oldest son had a few close friends.....the same basic group.   In high school, I started noticing that he was not hanging out with them as much outside of school.   Come to find out, they were going to parties, drinking, etc.   My son chose to not participate.    My younger son does what he wants, when he wants...his friends seem to battle for his attention.   I have no idea why.

You can't make friends for your daughter....it is something she has to do for herself.  Just be there for her if her lack of social life bothers her.   Maybe she should host a party for her friends.




mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:01 PM

My teen has always had a few good friends. When she was a younger teen she would always be with them on the weekends, either at one of their houses or at ours. Now she is busy with work or her boyfriend on the weekends.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 1, 2012 at 9:32 PM

Mine had to make friends over and over because we moved so much.  Made them more outgoing.  They have facebook friends in different states and in Italy where we lived before. 

CampClan
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this

 She's 13! My DDs are 11 & 12 & do not hang out with anyone outside of school- yet. I know there will come a day though. We live on a very busy street in a not so good part of town so I can't let my girls roam the neighborhood to visit friends. And honestly I am uncomfortable with the friends coming here. My rule has been if I don't know the parents they can not go over to the house. So why would I allow their friends to come here if a) I don't know the KIDS & b) I haven't met the parents?

My 16yo DS however- he is in 10th grade & most of his friends he has known since either elementary or middle school. Right now he is at the house of a kid I have never met (but he has known this kid for years) & clearly I have not met the parents. But yet I let him stay over because I trust my son to not do something stupid! And infact- on the way out the door this evening I received a call from a number I didn't know but something told me to answer the phone. This kid says "Is this Ryan's mom?" & when I said yes the kid said "My name is _____ I'm Ryan's friend that he is staying with tonight. My dad would like to talk to you." & then he put his dad on the phone & the dad said "Hi Mrs. Campbell my name is _____. I just wanted to touch base with you since we have never met & make sure you knew Ryan was over here & that it was okay." When I said yes I knew he then said "I have been informed that Ryan is suppose to leave with Brad when his dad picks him up at noon tomorrow. Is this correct?" Seriously! How awesome is it that a parent would actually call & make sure this is the right!

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:30 PM

My son 16 never has people come over and never goes anywhere.  My 14 year old daughter on occassion hangs out with the same group of small kids all the time, while my 12 year old is constantly nagging me to go out with her friends.

KeriAZ
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:41 PM
My 16 yr old dd has one friend who is her bff. They have been friends for 5yrs and the bff practically lives here. I believe she will be moving in my house soon.
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roxee81
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 10:45 PM

My daughter is 13 and she just has a handful of friends and friends she see at school only.  I think maybe your daughter may feel like she doesn't fit in anywhere and she's afraid if she asks if she can come over that she may be rejected.  I don't think your thinking too much into it i would be the same way and i'm always thinking about the memories she will have when she grows up and you want them to be happy ones!

If it was me which i'v done this with both my kids even my son who is now 17 but when he was younger I would intervein. I would maybe call the girls mother or reach out to a friend that you may know a little bit more and see if she can help.  I also talk with some of my daughters friends about how she's doing when she's not with me though i'v known some of her friends since 1st grade and they gladly tell me in fact thats how I learned that she likes a boy, she would never tell me!  And she is so very shy that she won't ask a friend to come over unless they invite her first.  Many times her friends txt me and ask me if they can come over and I don't mind.  I often txt her friends when something comes up because at this age they would much rather txt then talk to a mom on the phone.  But if you ask me thats half our kids today problem is they txt more then they talk. 

But i would get just a little involved, my daughter hates that but then later she's glad I did.

Is that at all possible?  This age is so so hard and since she stepped into jr. high my little girl changed and its hard for me sometimes but you have to learn to just support her and listen alot! 

PinkieRed
by on Jun. 1, 2012 at 11:12 PM
My 14 year old daughter is the same way. She has good friends at school, but not many kids that she hangs out with outside of school. There's only 4 girls in her class of 14, including her, and none live near us, so that makes it hard.

There's only one girl on her class who she gets together with outside of school. But, it's not that often, since the friend lives 40 minutes from us, and her mom has a crazy work schedule as a firefighter, which makes it hard to plan things. The friend spends some weekends at her dad's house as well, which also makes getting together hard. The friend will occasionally spend a weekend at our house, when her mom is out of town with the Army Reserves.

Other than that, my daughter doesn't really have any friends who she gets together with regularly on weekends. She can be shy, and is cautious about making friends due to being bullied at her old elementary school.

She's been in Girl Scouts for the past 8 years, and gets along with the girls in her troop, but doesn't hang out with any outside of Girl Scouts. She also has two nearly the same age girl cousins (one is 9 months older than her, and one is 3 months younger), but neither lives close to us, and they are usually busy with their own friends, so my daughter doesn't see them often.

I keep hoping high school will be better for my daughter in terms of making friends, because she gets lonely a lot. I'd love for her to have a big group of close friends to hang out with.


Quoting roxee81:

My daughter is 13 and she just has a handful of friends and friends she see at school only.  I think maybe your daughter may feel like she doesn't fit in anywhere and she's afraid if she asks if she can come over that she may be rejected.  I don't think your thinking too much into it i would be the same way and i'm always thinking about the memories she will have when she grows up and you want them to be happy ones!

If it was me which i'v done this with both my kids even my son who is now 17 but when he was younger I would intervein. I would maybe call the girls mother or reach out to a friend that you may know a little bit more and see if she can help.  I also talk with some of my daughters friends about how she's doing when she's not with me though i'v known some of her friends since 1st grade and they gladly tell me in fact thats how I learned that she likes a boy, she would never tell me!  And she is so very shy that she won't ask a friend to come over unless they invite her first.  Many times her friends txt me and ask me if they can come over and I don't mind.  I often txt her friends when something comes up because at this age they would much rather txt then talk to a mom on the phone.  But if you ask me thats half our kids today problem is they txt more then they talk. 

But i would get just a little involved, my daughter hates that but then later she's glad I did.

Is that at all possible?  This age is so so hard and since she stepped into jr. high my little girl changed and its hard for me sometimes but you have to learn to just support her and listen alot! 

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cege
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:23 AM
1 mom liked this

My daughter (17) has a lot of friends that she hangs out with all the time. My son (15) only has a handful of friends that he sees outside of school maybe once a week.   Since your daughter is only 13, I don't think it's unusual if she's not getting together with friends outside of school all the time.  Once my daughter got her license, it was so much easier for her to make plans with friends.  And  I really saw a big increase in the amount of people she was hanging out with.  But realistically she'll probably only keep in touch with a few of her closest friends once she goes away to college next year.  I think teenagers often hang out with whoever is the most convenient and available person at the time.  However,  true friends aren't always easy to come by.  If your daughter is happy and has a consistent group of friends at school that are supportive of her,  I wouldn't worry about her. 

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