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14 yr old thinks she's in love with 21 yr old she met on FB

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My DS created a new FB account, new name & she made her age to be 20. that whole account is a lie. She met this guy from the Philipines who is 21 on an online game that I let het play 2 hrs a day. Little did I know she was chatting with this guy the whole time. I also found msgs on her other FB acount, the one she was allowed to have so she could chat with her BM who lives in TX.  She has told this guy that she loves him & wants to visit him in a couple of years. I have taken all her elecronics & she is grounded from playing any games online & texting to anyone. Her own fault, I say. Her dad has researched this guy & found that he has over 800 FB friends & most are young girls from all over. This is not the 1st time she has done this. And she has been texting other guys from around the U.S. She has no clue what she is getting herself into.  I thought she was smarter than that. She knows the dangers of talking to strange men. Her dad used to be a cop & he dealt with guys like that in jail.

scrapbooking

by on Jun. 6, 2012 at 3:52 PM
Replies (21-30):
marinegirl93
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:16 AM

When I was her age.. I was 13/14 and doing this exact thing.. My dad was never around/ still isnt.. And I never really got attention from any of moms boyfriends that walked in and out.. I'd sit her down and talk to her.. or like others suggested counseling.. but honestly my mom tried counseling and it got me no where.. she has to be willing to talk and open up otherwise it'll just make it worse (i know from experience).. Or if you'd like I can talk to her to try to help.. maybe someone young she sees as a friend who isn't her parent and who was there once before can help.. just a suggestion but I understand also if you say no to that option. Good luck.

andreahm
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this

 I was just like your daughter when I was 14...did somewhat of the same things.  she needs counseling. Im not in this group, I just clicked because it was a featured post. But honestly. Theres a reason other than stupidity and rebellion thats making her do this.

CafeMom Tickers
CountryLayne
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:21 AM
3 moms liked this

I'm pretty strict with my daughter. Benefit of doubt or not- I watch her like a hawk. There are too many sickos in this world, and she is still young and impressionable enough that she is still under close supervision.

Question... why can't she WRITE her BM? You know, pen to paper, use a stamp and the postal service? Apparently this is a lost form of communication in today's world...


superm0m877
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Quoting randomosityblog:

Keep an eye on her... I remember "falling in love" with someone online when I was 14 too! Creepers.





Sadly so did I. So stupid! And I will tell you op if she's anything like I was she's gonna find other ways to contact him,nfriends house or phones, library, etc. it's not that she doesn't know the dangers s
he just doesn't care. She THINKS she knows him and it won't happen to her.its scary. Maybe you could find news articles about girls who weren't so lucky to scare her.
Lizzys_mommy13
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:27 AM

I will admit, I did things like that when I was younger. I knew better, but I was at the stage that I didn't care. It IS dangerous, and your punishment is perfect. My dad was also a cop. Another thing you can do is pull up news articles about girls coming up missing that are internet related and have her read them and write a small report about it. Just reading them isn't going to make it really sink in, but if she has to write a report about the dangers and the girls that have come up missing, it will help to drive it home. 
Good luck mama! 

kokosmommy2009
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

unfortunately, knowing the dangers of meeting online people will not stop a 14 year old from developing a crush on any and all "boys" that have interest in her.  Do you remember yourself at that age.  My thoughts on this are she really should not have a phone that you can not monitor.  You can also put GPS on her phone through your company which is probubly not a bad idea in case something ever does happen, God forbid.  As for her computer, you can block any sites you do not want her to have access to.  you can also stop her from being able to have internet acess on her cell phone.  This is a serious matter.  At 14 it is not her responsibility to be able to know dangers from non dangers when it comes to men.  Thats yours.  I say anything you can do to keepo your child safe is what should be done.  Your not her friend.  she may be mad, but teenagers are always mad.  Someday when she is alive, happy, and with a normal man, she WILL thank you.

ac10
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:35 AM

All of your responses sound like you're making excuses for her behavior so you can get off the hook. She can't handle the internet responsibly. It's great that you took away all of her internet access. The problem is, up until recently, you didn't know she was chatting with an adult male either. She isn't worthy of trust, you can't be sure that she isn't having sex. You said it yourself, teens are sneaky. Trust her less, she needs to earn it back. 

Quoting Lori62000:

As I have said before. This is a 2nd account she had created. The FB account we knew of was the one we let her have. This other one she created behind our back, with a different name & info. We only found it because this guy whom she met while playing an online game. Crystal Saga, so if your teens are playing it you might want to check who theying are talking to, because this game allows chat. Anyway, the account was found when I saw msgs from the guy on her FB account she allowed to have. It was created so she could talk & see her mom, step dad, brother & her 2 half sisters who live in TX. We live in CO. Her other FB account & all the other emails & texting accounts she has will be deleted today by both her dad & I. Teens are good at hiding stuff & being sneaky. All her electonics have been taken away since she was discovered. I have access to her one FB account. So stop judging me a an irresponsble parent. This is really her only bad thing ahe has done. She doesn't have boys sneaking over, she doesn't have sex. And this was handled quite well. It was only a few months  & she has never posted any 'bad' photoes of herself anywhere.  

I come here seeking helpful advice, not having some pointing fingers at me saying I'm not doing my job as a parent. 


kokosmommy2009
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this

you have to be strict today.  people are disgusting.  when i was in 2nd grade i was walking to school alone.  I was out playing until the streetlights went on.  my parents biggest owrry was if i was going to break a bone at the playground or eat too much junk food.  Today, kids cant even enjoy their child hood bc of the creeps that prey on them.  sadly, we are more like jailers than parents at ttimes.  but guess what.  id rather have a child who dislikes me than no child at all.

Maevelyn
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM
3 moms liked this

I don't think that you were a bad parent. You have to give them a little rope and it's not your fault if they hang themselves with it. It would be irrisponcible not to give her a fair chance and as you get further from this incident you are going to eventually restore some of her privilages. The fact that you caught her shows how closely you are monitoring her. There are two facts of parenting 1. Kids are always faster than their mom 2. All kids are sneaky. 

Quoting Lori62000:

As I have said before. This is a 2nd account she had created. The FB account we knew of was the one we let her have. This other one she created behind our back, with a different name & info. We only found it because this guy whom she met while playing an online game. Crystal Saga, so if your teens are playing it you might want to check who theying are talking to, because this game allows chat. Anyway, the account was found when I saw msgs from the guy on her FB account she allowed to have. It was created so she could talk & see her mom, step dad, brother & her 2 half sisters who live in TX. We live in CO. Her other FB account & all the other emails & texting accounts she has will be deleted today by both her dad & I. Teens are good at hiding stuff & being sneaky. All her electonics have been taken away since she was discovered. I have access to her one FB account. So stop judging me a an irresponsble parent. This is really her only bad thing ahe has done. She doesn't have boys sneaking over, she doesn't have sex. And this was handled quite well. It was only a few months  & she has never posted any 'bad' photoes of herself anywhere.  

I come here seeking helpful advice, not having some pointing fingers at me saying I'm not doing my job as a parent. 


kokosmommy2009
by on Jun. 8, 2012 at 10:40 AM

id also find out the other persons parents or if it is someone older alert the athorities.

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