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How do you stop giving in to your teenagers when they are in the wrong? I need an answer

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Hi, Mariah is my baby child. She is 14 years old, soon to be 15 yrs old on July 23rd. She is being defiant and smart mouth with the teachers in school and with me.  She is holding resentments toward me. I am seeking advice on how to relate with her. I try talking and taking her places but she wants to still be diobedient. Help me!

by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 10:26 PM
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We are all guilty of giving in. Sometimes it is just easier. We dont realize it at the time but it does come back to bite you in butt if you allow it to become a chronic problem. Eventually you lose the power of believability and accountability. You throw in the fact that our hearts break when we have to deny our child anything and we become our own worst enemy. 

Quoting Karma_Niyama:

I so agree!! This is the way!! But I can relate to always giving in, I have asked the same thing, why do i feel sorry and guilty for taking things away??  Not being consistent really hurt my situation, they knew if they pushed long enough, I would give in. Oh, if i could start over!!


I have two teenaged sons and my oldest is 18. We went through a rough patch like this when he was about the same age. The best advice I can give you is to say what you mean and mean what you say. Dont threaten unless you are prepared to follow through. Your biggest weapon to a teenager is to remind them of just how much you make their lives possible. Take away the internet, cell phone, or other privileges and stand your ground. If she is like my kids, she has access to all kinds of communications. When they lose them, they are shut off from their peers. That is unbearable to them and it wont take long before they realize they do in fact need you. The other thing that I think a lot of parents do wrong is in arguing your rules. Set realistic rules and enforce them. She dont have to like them but she will follow them. The other thing is parents should not, could not, will not be their child's friend and still expect their children to view them as disciplinarians. Her friends tell her what she wants to hear and agree with them on everything. Parents tell her what not to do. So, bottom line, Dont argue. Act. She will not like it. She will get mad. When you dont argue back at her, it blows the wind right out of her sails. She needs you and you need t o prove it to her. 

by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 2:44 AM


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 I don't tolerate disrespect from my children.  If they don't do what is expected of them, their priveledges get taken away. 

 Agree :)

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