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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Am I trying to relive through my teen

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I took a few steps back this weekend where my 15 year old daughter is concerned.    Yesterday my 15 year old asked me if she could go out of town with her boyfriend and the youth group from HIS church.  They would be back the same day.  At first I really didn't have a problem with it cause I would want my Mom to say yes if I was in her shoes, until my husband starting bringing up all these points.  We don't know anything about this youth group or the church and I wasn't prepared to send her off to a city she doesn't know and God forbid something happen.  I have put the brakes on her trying to run over me but now she is acting bitter toward me.  Some advice please.  Would you let your daughter go??

by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 12:14 AM
Replies (11-20):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:11 AM

I would find out info and probably let her go.  I went with my friends church 2 hours away to an amusement park.  My parents didn't know her well at that point really.  We did know about the church as many members from our church went there when the church was founded .  Oh, and I was in 8th grade when this happened. 

02nana07
by Ida on Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:57 AM

 Maybe it is time to get involved with your daughters church if you are concerned maybe volunteer your time since you did say yes.

It isn't fair for you to change your mind after giving permission I would  make me beyound p****d if I were your child 

Carmel63
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Quoting 02nana07:

 Maybe it is time to get involved with your daughters church if you are concerned maybe volunteer your time since you did say yes.


It isn't fair for you to change your mind after giving permission I would  make me beyound p****d if I were your child 




This is NOT her daughter's church.
Barabell
by Barbara on Jun. 14, 2012 at 10:19 AM

I would research into the situation more, like the comment about contacting the church and the chaperones.

With big decisions like that one, usually I tell my son that I need to get more information and talk to my husband first before answering his question. Maybe you should consider not giving her a yes so quickly next time?

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jun. 14, 2012 at 10:25 AM

I wouldn't let her go, not at 15.  Maybe at 16 I would if I knew the church or the youth group or something like that.  I agree with your husband on this one.  Just because a kid wants to do something doesn't always mean it is in their best interest.  I don't tell my kids no unless there is a good reason for it.  I'm not doing it to be mean or anything like that.

Carmel63
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2012 at 11:39 AM
Quoting fantasticfour:

I wouldn't let her go, not at 15.  Maybe at 16 I would if I knew the church or the youth group or something like that.  I agree with your husband on this one.  Just because a kid wants to do something doesn't always mean it is in their best interest.  I don't tell my kids no unless there is a good reason for it.  I'm not doing it to be mean or anything like that.




And what would that good reason be?
meg1012
by Member on Jun. 14, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I would go see the chuch and meet with the youth pastors. I find youth groups are the best environment for teens. It allows them to have fun in a somewhat supervised setting. Usually the youth counselors are in college and a great influence. Also what city are they going to?

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jun. 14, 2012 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Carmel63:

Quoting fantasticfour:

I wouldn't let her go, not at 15.  Maybe at 16 I would if I knew the church or the youth group or something like that.  I agree with your husband on this one.  Just because a kid wants to do something doesn't always mean it is in their best interest.  I don't tell my kids no unless there is a good reason for it.  I'm not doing it to be mean or anything like that.




And what would that good reason be?

It all depends on the situation.   The good reason for telling them no on running with scissors is that they could fall on them.  The good reason for telling them not to be on the computer right now is that it is a pretty day and the fresh air and exercise will do them good (or I'm on it).  There is always a good reason and never is there a "because I said so" reason.  A good reason for my 15 year old girl running off to another town with the boyfriend and a church youth group is that I don't know these people, she doesn't know the area, and it could be dangerous not only for her physical well being but for her mental well being too.  DOesn't mean it will be but there are too many unknowns for me to make a decision for yes.

admf
by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Thanks for all the replies but let me clear one thing up....From the beginning I never told her yes she could go. 

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:35 PM

At 15 with a youth group yes I would have let her go.

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