Engaged while she has not even meet 1 child & other 2 children twice
Gosh, my x just informed us that he is engaged. He is a very disconnected father. He does takes the boys (13 and 10) every other weekend for visits. My 16 year old daughter has not spent time with him for about 3 years. I have been a single mom raising the 3 kids on my own for the past 8 years. Mr. Military come and goes and give me a hard time on every issue yet he really does not accomplish much in his 10% of the time with the boys and 0% with his daughter. I do it all for the 3 kids yet he constantly tells me I need to seek psychologicalhelp. They do not really see him as a father and are afraid of him. They can not express how they feel and my daughter basically just tries to ignore situations.
Who would get engaged to a person who has not spent time with the kids? She has no idea what kind of father he is since she has only seen the two boys over dinner. I feel sorry for my 3 children. Their father has been off living his own life while he has greatly disappointed them time and time again over the years. What message is he sending? "I am getting married to someone you don't even know and that is alright." I know there is worse out there however I have been trying to raise my children with strong ethics and morals. They attendCathoic schools and are in church each week. GRRRRRR
Another term for it is "gas-lighting"
Quoting missybest:
Mom to mom with a narcissist relationship. Please get those kids talking. Listen, listen, listen. Have them talk about everything to you that you can - their friends, trouble at school, how they FEEL about everything. You do the same with another adult - SOMEONE - anyone. You need support too. You know how confused you are at what he does? Double that for the kids! In their minds they are confused and it causes them to confuse their own feelings. Sort, sort, sort, talk, talk, talk. You must find an adult to talk all this out with. Narcissists make YOU feel crazy, then YOU get scared to trust your own feelings! Deadly situation. Stay away from him as much as possible and heal, heal, heal, you and your kids. Trust your love for your kids and your instincts and talk and discuss. Get those kids talking - all of them! Hugs to you!
P.S. When he tries to engage you in another argument, formulate an escape plan like, "May I discuss this with you later, I have to..." Don't participate when he starts "zinging," you with word barbs. Take that power from him by not defending yourself with similar words... they fall on deaf unwilling ears and it's like talking to a wall.
Quoting chloesmommy777:
Another term for it is "gas-lighting"
Quoting missybest:
Mom to mom with a narcissist relationship. Please get those kids talking. Listen, listen, listen. Have them talk about everything to you that you can - their friends, trouble at school, how they FEEL about everything. You do the same with another adult - SOMEONE - anyone. You need support too. You know how confused you are at what he does? Double that for the kids! In their minds they are confused and it causes them to confuse their own feelings. Sort, sort, sort, talk, talk, talk. You must find an adult to talk all this out with. Narcissists make YOU feel crazy, then YOU get scared to trust your own feelings! Deadly situation. Stay away from him as much as possible and heal, heal, heal, you and your kids. Trust your love for your kids and your instincts and talk and discuss. Get those kids talking - all of them! Hugs to you!
Quoting Tea4Tas:My wasbund is a lot like yours. Why are you even talking to him? I told mine a few years ago that he was no longer to call me-or text. He can only email me-and text me if the email is urgent so I will read it immediately. That has made my life so much better.
My wasbund hasn;t seen our 21 year old since she was 13-our 9 year old for over a year-our 15 year old since he was 13 (and hasn't talked to any of them in that time either) The only child he sees is our 19 year old.
The kicker? He lives 2 miles away..the two youngest pass his house daily on the way to and from school.
Quoting KZEE30:
Uuughh, that rotten egg. Poop head but hole excuse of a human being...
Quoting Tea4Tas:
My wasbund is a lot like yours. Why are you even talking to him? I told mine a few years ago that he was no longer to call me-or text. He can only email me-and text me if the email is urgent so I will read it immediately. That has made my life so much better.
My wasbund hasn;t seen our 21 year old since she was 13-our 9 year old for over a year-our 15 year old since he was 13 (and hasn't talked to any of them in that time either) The only child he sees is our 19 year old.
The kicker? He lives 2 miles away..the two youngest pass his house daily on the way to and from school.
Oh I call him DOUCHIE MCGOO. Not in front of the kids, of course.....
This woman is probably marrying him for him, and not his kids or his style of parenting. My dad has been with his current girlfriend for 10 years, but I've only met him once. She has no interest in my sisters or myself. She is with my dad for who he is, and not who his kids are.
Personally, based on her lack of interest in my dad's family and how much he has supported her with her parents (which is her family--no siblings and no kids), I don't think highly of his girlfriend. But if my dad is happy living with her, who am I to tell him not to be with her?
I cannot stand her best friend.....
- lori03
on Jun. 16, 2012 at 7:15 AM