My 13 year old daughter's grades have been dropping very badly since the second quarter. I just got her report card in the mail this weekend and was astonished to see that she actually failed two classes and not by just a point or two..much much worse. Samantha has been tested several times for learning disorderes. She actually passed the test as an above average student. Her problem, she says, is that when something gets hard, she freezes and doesnt want to learn anymore or do the work. Every quarter I have punished her..taking her phone and other things off of her. It doesnt seem to work. I also promise reqards for good grades like 80 and above. That has never happened.
In the Fall, she will be going to an Anxiety councelor because she does have some Anxiety issues which could be causing this. For now though I just dont know what to do. I cant just let the summer go and not do a thing. I have considererd summer school but cant afford it. Anyone else have this problem??
There are free tutorng options. Check with the local library, the YMCA, churchs, Boys N Girls, ETC.
YOU need to be staying on top of her grades. Its a parents job to be on top of their kids education, just not send them to school and leave it to the teacher. COMMUNICATE with the teacher. Maybe via a wekly email or a homework/agenda book. Make it DDs responsibility to fill it out and ask the teacher to initial it each night. Then review her homework to be sure she isn't struggling.
Im a high school teacher and here are a few things I can suggest. First you MUST stay on top of her grades, get a report every week. Now a days many schools have online gradebooks where parents can see grades in real time. Call the school and see if they provide that. Us teachers can only do so much, at the end of the day we cant make her do her homework at home or study at home. Make sure she is using her agenda, dont accept excuses as to why she doesnt want to use it, most teenagers dont , but the ones that do are usually very sucessfull. And finally if you are going to threaten to take things away if her agenda isnt filled out each day or she doesnt give you a grade sheet everyweek with acceptable grades STICK to those consequences .
Kids want to find reasons A B and C why they dont want to do school work now a days .
The ladies above gave you great advice I don't have much to add. I was also going to suggest counselling for the anxiety and tutoring through the summer.
I was in the same situation just a week ago. My thirteen-year-old barely graduation from Catholic school. Instead of taking education seriously, she wanted to be the class clown and make snide ass remarks about those who were earning 3.0 and above grade point averages. Well, her clowning really hit her when she received her last progress report and she had three F's (I kid you not). At the last moment she wanted to go to tutoring. All year she was acting up-she did not want to do homework completely and ended up servicing a month detention that interfered with her ballet and modern dance classes. Besides her clowning, her problem is that she listens to her classmates brag about how they were accepted into so-called "good" schools with piss poor grades and she actually believed them. Her attitude was, Well if they are not working hard and are getting rewarded, I can, too. She managed to pull one grade up; like I mentioned she graduated by the skin of her teeth. I told her that she cannot bullshit in high school. Teachers and parents can work together for academic success for the student, but at the end of the damn day, it is up to the STUDENT. We took away her things (iPod, computer, etc), threatened to take her out of dance, communicated with her teachers, made her study for two hours a night, and so forth. What is shameful is that she knows people who had dropped out of high school and are now earning minimum wage. She sees this, and I guess she feels that it will never happen to her because she got it like that. I also tell her that I will not live forever and neither will her father. One day, we all have to stand on our own or fall-and she cannot claim that we have not tried to prepare her for life.
I understand your frustration and you have my sympathy.
Let just hope that one day, we can kind of chuckle about this-kind of.
Get her tutors! My daughter is the same way, and extremely smart. I found Tutor Doctors and there was a franchise in my city. The tutors were fabulous. We had one for math and one for english. She said the math tutor explained her math better than the math teacher. Her grades went from mid to low 80's to 90's. The language arts tutor helped her with her geography research paper, english essays and study for tests. They came to the house in 1-1.5 hr increments. The week before finals, they came for 3-4 days a week to help her study. My daughter's anxiety got better too when she realized that she could do the work and her grades were improving. She starts 9th grade in the fall and we fully plan to keep the tutors in the wings. We just won't wait as long this time. If she needs help with something, I'll call and schedule them.
i feel your pain... my 14 well now 15 yr old is the same..grounding has seem to do nothing. sigh.. and her bio father dosent help much. so for the summer we are doing an hour 1/2 of school.. reading..book reports..math spelling u name it. everyday. and in july she starts high school ( still wondering why they are passing her ) but to enter the hight school there is a 2 week course at the school kids have to take. but i know its hard.. nothing seems to work. im sorry mama.. i feel your pain 100% xo hugs xo
Kind of except the opposite. My son, when he figures out what needs to be learned he stops doing all the work until the next thing comes around. He's BORED. Talk to her and find out if it is really when something is hard or if she is bored. Perhaps advanced courses will help, it sure helped my middle child who I thought was just a C student. She's straight As now.
Get her a tutor. I will be worth it to give her confidence. If not, you need to tutor her every night yourself. You have done tihs with my dd sicne she was very young. Usually teachers tutor before or after school for free as help for students. As soon as her grades went down you shoudl have looked into that. I know HS teacher have at least a day each week for help if not every day. My oldest went nearly every day for math help before school so she would so well.
Do you expect academic excellence from your kids? POLL Added
- NoreSammi
on Jun. 17, 2012 at 6:59 PM