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Video game trouble please help

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Someone give a adice..i have a 131/2 yr old son..hes all into video ganes and doesnt care for nothing else. Should i keep talking to him day by day of why is not good too much game? we have the hardest times when is time to do family things if hes playing because he doesnt want to stop in the middle of his game. I really dont know how to deal with it am exhausted frustrated. I already had time set for playing and had big arguments because ive had to turn it off myself and he gets so upset and starts cursing.
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by on Jun. 18, 2012 at 8:23 PM
Replies (11-19):
PurpleHazey
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 5:55 AM

been there...they grow out of it, then you wish they never did.

ilvmykids12
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:01 AM

I have a daughter that loves the games as well.  We had to put a limit on the amount of time she is allowed to play each day. It works better if I give a time limit and remind her of it before she started the game and not try to stop her during the game. We also do not allow the games to be brought to a family event.  This even includes the dinner table.  It sounds like talking is not working for you.  You might have to explain the rules and the repurcussions if they are broken.  Then follow through.  Games can go in timeout.  Although the cursing is not pleasant, it seems to work for him if it breaks you down.   Best of luck to you :) 

slou1024
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

This is what I did...take it away. I may give about a 5 to 10 min warning to let him know what we have to do (lunch time, hang up laundry, whatever) so that gives time to save. After that warning I walk up and turn it off. They complained...I said "it's a game...the fun part is playing it all over again."

When they still didn't want to do what was asked all the controllers went missing. You're the parent - he's the child. There should be no argument! Take back control. 

When mine tried arguing that's exactly what I told them and I said "I gave you a warning, you know the rules, no arguement, next time do what's asked and you won't have this problem with me!" and I walked away. The last time ds asked for his video games back I told him if he kept asking it'll be sold and he won't have any and that when I felt like he deserved to have his games back I'll return it.. He hasn't asked for it back since. I'm still working on taking back control but the fact is you're the parent and he should respect you! Enough days without the gaming and all of my kids got the picture...plus my ds is using his brain more without the games...actually reading and practicing the guitar. 

mrswillie
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Take the controllers with you when you leave

Quoting cbad:

Yes ive been trying that abd it seems to work but is so exhausting because he does it every week and am always busy with my middle ones soccer practices and games..he stays home because doesnt want to go and somwtimes hes playing wen i come bak and there we go again.He even tells me that my fone and car are gonna go away if hes games goes away thats wen i tell him that i will take the game if he doesnt turn it off




Quoting Shelley927:

only allow so much time and then make him get off....If he goes over take it away for the next day...make him earn his privilage...remind him it is not a right


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Shea1967
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Well we have this problem at our house. My son is 13 too. He has to earn time to play. Nasty talk, disrespect and mean does not earn time. I have a bag that I take with me and it holds ALL the remotes for his games :-) so even if I am not home he can't play. Sit him down at the table when he is calm and make him WRITE out the play rules. Boys/men remember better is they write/read versus verbal. You both sign it and post it on refrig. Make him tow the line. I know it is EXHAUSTING at first but he will get it and then it won't be so hard. Also just know he is in middle school and that is a sucky age.
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Maevelyn
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:56 AM

Tell him if he can't handle video games and get off them when he's told that he's going to have to learn to live without them. Explain that cursing at you is unacceptable and will result in immediate consequences (I get that he's upset, young and having mood swings but he can and must learn to control himself.) Explained to him that if he's grounded from video games and goes to a friend's house to play he will be grounded in the house. You know what he wants use it against him. 

Maevelyn
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:00 AM

No, he threatened you and thinks he can make the rules. That game would be gone. What harm will it do him to go the summer with out a video game? My mom would have made me watch her smash it if I talked to her like that and I would have NEVER gotten another video game till I could afford it. I wouldn't let him stay home since he can't handle it. 

Quoting cbad:

Yes ive been trying that abd it seems to work but is so exhausting because he does it every week and am always busy with my middle ones soccer practices and games..he stays home because doesnt want to go and somwtimes hes playing wen i come bak and there we go again.He even tells me that my fone and car are gonna go away if hes games goes away thats wen i tell him that i will take the game if he doesnt turn it off


Quoting Shelley927:

only allow so much time and then make him get off....If he goes over take it away for the next day...make him earn his privilage...remind him it is not a right



mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:06 AM

I agree with what boys2men has said.

You do have to do it over and over again so that he understands that this is how it will be. It has to be tough being a single mom but the more consistent you are with your son the more he will understand that you are the parent and you are in control.

Quoting cbad:

Yes thank u for ur advice. I have done that and has worked but hes made it so hard but if thats the only option i will do it over and over until he understands.Being a single mom sometimes i feel so weak physically and mentally. Ill keep praying God for strength and knowledge. i really appreciate everyones comments thank u for ur support


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting cbad:

Quoting Shelley927:



With all due respect, your issue is bigger than video games.   Your 13 yr old thinks he is in control.  How dare he tell you you don't deserve the privileges you have, and pay for?    The game system would be GONE.      

My advice is to limit the time he spends playing by confiscating the gaming system and locking it up.  He can earn the priveledge of playing, when you think it is appropriate.   Allow so much time to play, then disconnect and lock the system up again.

My son is a major gamer.   He will play for hours and hours.......has played since he was a little kid.   I quit placing limits on him when he proved he was capable of managing his time wisely.  As long as he did his homework, earned high grades, did his chores and balanced his social life.    Family time is first and foremost.   He must sit down to dinner with the family each evening and participate in family activities. Gaming is a past time, not a lifestyle.



FooLynRoo
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you have to first make a plan and stick to it no matter what his reaction is.

If I were you - video games would no longer be a given. He would have to earn time on the video games.

Such as homework earns him so many minutes, housework, family time etc.

Then invest in an egg timer or stop watch.


Explain the rules, be fair, make up a chart and stick to it.

Also inform him the moment he has ONE inappropriate response to the shutting off or time done on the game is the moment he loses it for x amount of days etc.


Again be Fair ...AN HOUR of homework should not yeild him 5 mins of play time. 

etc.


I think children and teens respond well to thought out - explained planned set of FAIR rules.

If he has suggestions - DECENT suggestions - to make him more receptive - hear him out - see what you can negotiate and incorporate.

If you are put off by your son being upset or using a curse - you need to stiffed up the back bone.

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