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Have you ever really regreted

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Have you ever really regretted something you've done when you were mad?  When my baby was really little she had a beautiful hand crafted rocking horse.  She loved it.  The guy I was dating had cheated on me and I went to get my stuff from his house and the rocking horse was there too (to entertain my daughter when she was there with me).  He kept lieing about everything (I knew because I found all the emails and even talked to the woman) and I got so mad I threw the thing at him.  It smashed into pieces and I felt so awful about it.  My baby is 12 and this was a good 10 years ago and I feel bad still.  I regret having it to pass on for my grandchildren. 

Do you have a stupid regret like that?

by on Jun. 18, 2012 at 10:58 PM
Replies (11-19):
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:37 AM

I'm sure I have them, but nothing specific that comes to mind. I'm a parent, I'm sure I screwed up a time or two ;)

by Kimberly on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:39 AM

Yes!   We took a vacation road trip several years ago, with another family, our best friends.  We went to Disneyland, Universal Studio's, etc.   On the drive back home, we had planned to make a few tourist stops... Santa Barbara, Hearst Castle,  Solvang...take our time and play it by ear.    Instead, our friends wanted to race straight to the Hotel in San Louis Obispo (where we had reservations).    I was pissed.  The whole trip had been centered on their 7 yr old daughter...many concessions had been made to appease the child. (Our children are the same ages).    We drove right through Santa Barbara, did not go to Hearst Castle.....then it came time to stop for dinner.....I refused to eat at Taco Bell!   Dh actually took the boys inside and ate with the other family while I waited in the car.   The fight was on!   Dh and I argued, with our kids in the vehicle, the entire drive to the Hotel.    I wanted to go our own way, apart from our friends, and visit the sites we had planned on, Dh thought we should stay with them and do it their way.     We stopped in Solvang to appease me.....and our friends sat on their car, having no interest in looking around.....we went to the Hotel and they rushed out to buy wine and beer to sit by the pool all evening.    I was just livid.   They refused to go to the Madonna Inn ( a cool Hotel), so I took my kids, alone.   They didn't want to go to Pismo Beach, but we had to go to another beach so their daughter could collect rocks.....  The trip was ruined.   Dh and i argued the entire drive home....ruining the trip for our kids.   That is the part I regret.    

by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 1:26 PM

Regret and guilt are healthy--they motivate us to learn, change negative attitudes and behaviours and make-up for our mistakes (perhaps you could donate some toys to the Red Cross/Homeless Shelter as a gesture to forgive yourself.) As long as it isn't shame which is counterproductive and shame is in the family of despair. Have compassion for yourself, 10 years is a long time to punish yourself.

by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Only thing i regret is my marriage.
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by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 1:47 PM

I almost answered that I regret my first divorce, but then I wouldn't have had my second daughter, so...I can't think of anything else, really.

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:27 AM

My Mom was struck with Alzheimer's disease VERY young, I wish I had spent more time with her..

by Barbara on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:19 PM

I know I have regrets, but I cannot think of them offhand right now. I don't have good judgment when I get really angry, and so I know I've said things out of anger that I regret.

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:05 AM

I have a book of regrets lol! But it's in the past can't beat yourself up about it. Like another poster said you can always buy another one....I wouldn't stress over it....

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Yes. I had a migraine one night when my daughter was about 4 and she knew I was laying on couch weak from pain so she of course went nuts. She was jumping on her bed and making all kinds of loud deliberate noise in her room. After awhile I mustered up enough strength to yell "be quiet" after debating back and forth with myself over what would hurt less to yell or get up. She did not be quiet. She got louder. I lost it and went in her room yelling about my head and that she better sit her but down etc., and then in my fury I ripped a poster off her wall tearing it in two in the process. Only it wasn't a poster. It was a picture she drew of a castle with a queen and princess on a balcony and over their heads it said "mom" and "me". I still regret that. My now 17 year old daughter will still bring it up too! She's a knife twister and an opportunist. She knows when to use the story.
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