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son gets pleasure by causing fear

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My 12 year old son told me last night he likes his evil personality and continues by saying it pleases him to cause fear in other people including his little 3 year old sister!  He is a bright straight A student with little friends.  He is a very caring young man but lately he has been very hateful and aggervating. He likes the attention he gets from being strange.  Now I love him very much even all the strange things about him but he is having some troubling thoughts and even said when I make him mad he day dreams of pushing me down the stairs.  He calls me a strict mother but believe me I am not.  I like to stick to the rules and I have my days that are worse than others but I never spank or belittle my children! Even when I do yel at them I constantly reitterate that I hate yelling and I really do.  He has never had any strong dicipline instilled in him because he was not a bad child but here lately I have been wanting to reconsider my forms of punishment.  I called our local counseling and set him up to speak with someone but my biggest fear is that our relationship will get way worse if I do not do something now.  ANY ADVICE OR CHAT WOULD BE APPRECIATED as I do not know what to do!


by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:06 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 2:17 PM

 OUCH!  {{{HUGS}}}  I think that getting him some counseling.  I had to do that with my nine year old and like your son, mine is a straight A student and had little to no friends and his siblings were starting to hate being around him.  It went so far as this past Easter weekend he spent in a counseling center because he got so bad.  They put him on meds and now he is a lot better.  I don't promote this nor do I promote getting meds but if he needs them, it might be better.

by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this

TiZZyMOM, I can tell you right now that, if this counselor is worth it, they will have you do some changes in areas.. You are 'Predictable' to your son.. He knows this, but, you don't.. By the time our kids knew basic words/meaning of them, they knew what is what.. It's not all up to you to do everything.. He's well old enough to know this isn't funny, but, he is keeping you in line at the same time.. He were mine?? He'd had already regretted saying those things to me.. It's mind games is what he's doing.. He has to know you are NOT AFRAID of him.. You need to give him just as many bluffs to him.. Like:You push me down stairs, you best have a plan where you're going to live afterwards'?? You need to fight back.. Give him his own medicine back.. He needs to know you are serious.. You can't ALLOW him to talk to you like that, nor threaten you in any way.. He's being a jerk is all.. Take Care, Donna....

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