Says she has "no friends" and I don't know how to help
Hi, do you have any advice on helping my DD connect better with her friends? Most of them always seem too busy to do things with her and she often is excluded from things they are doing. She is smart and attractive and has a good sense of humor and I don't know why she often is sitting at home. It isn't like they are fighting....she is just often excluded or they plan to do something with her and then cancel out. She has had plans cancelled out many times...I think what happens is that some of those friends agree to do something with her until a "better offer" comes along and then they cancel out on her. She couldnt get anyone to agree to come over this weekend to celebrate her birthday; everyone was "busy" or out of town. I feel so bad because I know she gets lonely. She participates in swimming for high school but that won't start up until mid-August and then that is just practice. She also participates in gymnastics but that doesn't start until winter. She rarely goes out to do things with friends and I feel so bad...at her age (just about 17), she should be doing things with friends, such as going to football or basketball games, parties, the beach, and so on...but she is home almost all the time. She applied at a few bakeries for part-time work but they were not hiring....I told her she needs to try more places (she loves to bake and decorate desserts so wanted to try a bakery). It is as if her friends want to text her and be Facebook friends but don't want to actually do things with her. I've tried to convince her to reach out more and invite people to do things but when she tries that, they later cancel out or are busy. I have tried to get her into counseling in the past but she only went once and refused to go again. My ex did not support having her go to counseling so I had to let that issue drop. I just wish I could help her either make new friends or else help her connect with her present friends better. I don't think she treats them poorly or is mean....I am suspecting she might be more immature than they are.