Good morning Ladies, I am new at this and I am going to put it all out there. For 9 years I have been through h---- with my oldest son. My husband and I have taken him to counsling put in youth jail. We feel we have done everything we new how. But somehow I still feel I have FAILED. He has a lot of anger issue, others thinks he is bipolar and now, I am beginning to wonder also. When he was younger the kids he hung out with where druggies and so was he. It was so hard for me as I never grew-up like that. And now days pot seem like its ok, with pot smoking days and dispensary's all over. I have mix feelings if it should be legal or not. Anyways I hardly have friends over as I never knew when he would have a fit he sometimes would get physical and verbal. So now here is where the probably is now. My daughter doesn't like have her friends over so I would let her go to their house 2 or 3 night in a row. So she is use to that. Well now she is a teen and I want to be apart of her and friends life. She is in high school and has so many new friends. (which she tells me she will never be like my son and doesn't hang out with people who do drugs) But she seem to not want me so much like asking to meet the parents or having their phone no..("Dont you trust me") She thinks I want to know everything. She says her friends have the freedom to come and go and their parents trust them. So they don't have a curfew!! Well I believe there should be one. She is going to couseling because of how much we have all been through with her oldest brother, and her couselor said I should give her more space and that I am not going to know all her friends and parents. " Excuse me, yeah I will." Her couslor is a social worker also! It is so confusing and I want to be a good mother, but I am worn-out from my 20 year old and don't know how to move him out.(He is 20 but mentally 15). He is getting better on his anger and only smoking pot, which still bothers me, but its better then what ever he was doing. He does have learning issues, tried college not successful. He just started working and they laid him off for al couple weeks. Hopefully that's all. As its nice when he is out of the house for a while and I just want him to start a life for himself. He does have a girlfriend so he can make friends but does have some issues with social life. I didn't even know if he would be able to hold a job?? So my question is does anybody have ideas of how I can get him to move out and have a life or should I not be inbarressed on how he is and treats me or other people? And what are some of your rules on teenagers do they have a curfew? Thanks for listening :( sad and worn-out.