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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teen Boy and Porno

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:46 AM
  • 33 Replies

I asked my son yesterday if he has ever watched a porn movie. First he said no. Then I looked at him and squinted my eye and I asked him again...Then he said "No, what is that?" I admit I was relieved, however, now I'm concerned that he doesn't even know what porno is and he is 13. Now I surely dont want to encourage it, but I also don't want him to be oblivious and naive. I am a single mother of three (ex is not around) and I (ashamingly) have not had the talk with my son. I don't even know where to begin. It was easy as heck with my daughter tho!

by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:46 AM
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fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:09 AM
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In my opinion knowing the facts about sex and knowing what porn is are 2 different issues. At 13 he doesn't need to know about porn and it's good that he doesn't but you do need to have the talk with him. He's probably heard things from friends at this age so you need to sit down and talk to him.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:10 AM
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I think porn is degrading and would never agree with anyone watching it. I would not want teens to know what it is. Thag is a good thing.
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CrazyLife1996
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this
It's not an easy conversation but you just have to do it he is 13. Be completely open about all of it including porn.

I have made sure all my children that are old enough are completely educated on all forms of sex. We wanted them to learn from us not their friends at school.

We really have stressed sexting and underage nude photos because of the facts that it not only can e past around to everyone but is illegal.
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pip31453
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this

You can be sure that his classmates or friends will fill him in if you don't.  Set the standard as to how you want your son to think about sex.  Mine is 14 now and we've encouraged questions as well as starting discussions on sex.  As for porno, well that was apparently introduced to him by a friend while in our home. The other boy was a year and a half older.  One day I caught my son watching rather obscene videos on YouTube (girl on girl).  He clicked it off, but not before I saw it.  He admitted that his friends showed others to him when he was as young as 10.  I didn't show shock (boy, was it hard).  We discussed it right then and there.  I assured him it wasn't abnormal to want to look at such things.  I was glad he found females beautiful and appealing, but sometimes these videos degrade females and are unrealistic.  Since we are Christian, I told him that getting 'hooked' on this sort of stuff can take your mind away from more important things.  They can foster unrealistic ideas about sex and set him for problems in future relationships.  I didn't push things too much but let him know that if he found it embarrassing for his mother to see him doing, then he already knew it wasn't quite right.  Since then he's asked me more questions and had a good talk with his dad when they were out together.  Surprisingly, he seemed quite satisfied with our answers.  As to whether he's stopped, well, he may be getting better at hiding it, but I think he's moved on the ROBLOX videos because I can hear them through the door.  He has to run out and show some of them to me because they are sooo cool.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:59 AM
Well, if he didn't know about porn before...he is looking it up now!

Usually they teach sex ed in 5th grade in our state. It is long past time for you to be talking about sex, responsibility, respect, and consequences...babies, diseases, etc.

I would even be he knows people at school who are having or have sex.

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Buggy979
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM
In my experience with teens " he is lying".. he knows what it is and I am sure he has seen it. My 11 yr old know what it is..let it go or talk to him..
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Saphira1207
by Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 11:37 AM

bump for later

Dragonfly599
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:24 PM
Educate, educate, educate...you r not encouraging that he watch it, but he should know what it is in addition to the talk about sex. My son is 14 yo. We had the talk last year, probably late. To my surprise, he was very good with the talk and even asked questions. You have to put aside your embarrassment and do it. I found out my son was curious when he purchased condoms from a friend. This was my opportunity to have the talk with him. We talked about everything. One thing parents may forget to mention in the sex talk is the behavior that goes along with a healthy relationship like respect, holding hands, talking to each other, and sharing interests. Open communication is key in keeping your child properly informed. If he is not talking to you, he is getting his information, probably incorrect information, elsewhere.
savelijes
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM

Thank you all!

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I love the answer what is it?..My older teens still try to use that!

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