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Do you think this is bullying?

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I took my beautiful, size 4-6, 5'4" daughter shopping today for fall school clothes.  She wanted to go into American Eagle, which is to be expected for a teenager.  How the heck does a store like this do business?  The small shirts looked like they would fit an really tall toddler, the extra larges were about the size of a woman's small/medium (if she has a small bust).  I'm not talking about styling here (low cut, tight), but about body imaging.  This store markets themselves to teens, but size themselves for girls that would have to be extremely underweight to fit the clothes (or squeeze themselves into sizes that don't fit just so they can wear the "right" clothes).  My daughter was visibly upset.  Although we found some things, I left them on the counter, refusing to spend our money in a store that is doing all it can to undermine girls self esteem during such formative years (btw: daughter was fine with that, she just wanted to get out of there). 

Even more disturbing is that after a little internet research tonight, American Eagle is considered the "larger" of the "in" stores;  Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister and Aeropostale being reserved for the rich and ultra thin among us.  Since when is a someone who wears size 6 extra large?  Ok, ok, let's say that I were to buy into the argument that once upon a time, several years ago, a size 8 was actually a size 6, and a size 6, a size 4 and so on, but come on!  Even with that logic a size 8 isn't extra large!  It never was!  It almost feels like this falls under the anti-bullying  "Save our Daughters" campaign.  People talk in large gestures about bullying, but this is bullying at its core.  This is the fashion industry telling our daughters that they aren't thin enough.  And they do it in the most bitter place, the dressing room mirror.

I think what really gets to me is that not only are these companies making my daughter feel bad about her body, but that I'm paying them while they do it.

Have any of you all had this experience?

by on Jul. 5, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Replies (31-40):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 6, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Where do you get that idea. We are all saying be happy who you are and for parents to teach self esteem.


Quoting kintop:

Thank god my daughter hates those brands.  She gets her cloths from Hot Topic.  She wears a size 4 or 5 and a small, but I do not judge a child nor women on their size.  I feel that you all are a little judgemental about the girls weight.  Like my daughter's chubby friends and so forth. 


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momof5mi
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:35 AM
My 14 year daughter 5"7 and 145lbs and 36d normal size for her height and weight.We found that you have to have to do your homework on some stores due to if the consider high fashion witch usually run small or average clothing store like vanity witch run larger. Its not companies that set american size for clothes. If you feel there is problem email their head quaters hr department.
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fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 1:56 PM

I am a size 8/10 and shop in Aeropostile and American Eagle.  They are some of my favorite clothes.  I don't find that they only market to the thin.  Even when I was a size 12 I was able to shop in both stores.  Not sure how you are having problems finding appropriate sizes.

zacmacsmomm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 3:56 PM

That is my daughter, she's about 5'2" and barely 85lbs.  She's got very long legs and arms.  She's 13 but still has to wear girls jeans.  I do believe that the standards for their sizes is seriously jacked up, but that's at almost every store for every size girl/woman, it truly sucks.

 


 

Quoting atlmom2:

My dd gets ticked. She doesn't want to wear girls clothes and sometimes 00 jeans are too large. She deals though.


bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:29 PM
1 mom liked this
If they have matured I wouldn't go to Justice might make them upset because it's geared towards younger girls. I have found Aeropostale to have similar styles.

Quoting phoenixallison:

Yes my 12 year old daughter has an hourglass figure as does my 11 year old. Both of them have a hard time because when we go to Justice my 12 yr old has to wear a size 16 in the tights like pants. ANY other clothes she wears a 12. My 11 year old mormally wears a 10 & there she has to wear a 14! My girls arent chubby or chunky at all but they have a bubble butt & up top is right along with it in size. They are embarressed & try to war shirts that are long enough not to show their belly if they bend down or over even though they have 6 packs they dont want to show off their skin. They have been asked to do modeling but when I showed them the models they would need to look like they both said NO they look sick I dont want to look like that.

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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Yes, I agree.

Quoting tyfry7496:

I agree. It's not bullying or discrimination. You can't blame a company for your daughters self image. That comes from parenting and healthy self esteem.



Quoting atlmom2:

No, its not bullying.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:38 PM
My DD is busty too..she's 14 and only 5 feet barely but wears a 30DD. Aeropostale never fits her in the arms correctly. Always way too long..

Quoting DCMom713:

I have to disagree with you on one of the stores - - Aeropostale.  I have a 5 ft, size 14 teenage daughter.  And we have successfully found several items in Aeropostale that fit her comfortably.  I say this because my daughter is very busty and tends to gravitate towards comfy clothes that don't fit her tight and advertise her assets while still wearing the in-style clothing and Aeropostale does that for her.

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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:41 PM
What?? Whatever gives you the idea that any of us on this post are being judgemental?

Quoting kintop:

Thank god my daughter hates those brands.  She gets her cloths from Hot Topic.  She wears a size 4 or 5 and a small, but I do not judge a child nor women on their size.  I feel that you all are a little judgemental about the girls weight.  Like my daughter's chubby friends and so forth. 

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mjande4
by Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I might ruffle a few feathers, but here goes anyway.  This is a prime example of where the term "bullying" is not only, overused, but inappropriately used.  This is a prime example of a term that lost it's meaning and has morphed itself into an all-encompassing word.  It's a shame, because it undermines anything happening when someone really gets picked on.  Having said this, I agree with you that these stores are horrendous.  You, however, are the consumer.  The consumer needs to walk away if they don't like the products.  It is our job as mothers to teach our daughters about their bodies and what looks best on them.  I don't care where my daughter buys her clothes, however, if it doesn't look good on HER, we discuss it and pick something that does.  I have taught her not to be brand loyal, but be dollar conscious.  She has outstanding taste and a pretty good business sense too.

chloesmommy777
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 4:55 PM

They have literally started resizing clothes larger by at least 2 and I think it's sinister. Also, shoes and clothing from many European countries are bigger (i.e. Sweden, etc. and UK countries. a Euro sz  5 is bigger than the same sz made in America and China...) The styles/fads are often too revealing/immodest and ridiculous, also. I also have read that most Italian and French modeling agencies have banned under-weight models, Hooray!

Quoting PinkieRed:

Yep! My 14 year old daughter is 5"2, 109 pounds, and a size 5, but she thinks she's fat. It breaks my heart. She wears a medium or large in all of the brands you mentioned.

It's sad that unless a teen girl is 5"6 or taller weighs 80 or 90 pounds, and is a size 0, that society will consider her fat and imperfect.

It's ironic too, given that girls and women are getting ever heavier, and the average American woman is now a size 12.


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