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My step daughter was caught

Posted by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:05 PM
  • 40 Replies

My 17 year old step daughter Cassie was caught at a party tonight and given a MIP.The party got out of hand where she went and the cops came out.Neighbor complained about the noise.Cassie was issued a MIP ticket and I ended up picking her up,she was a little drunk and in bed now sleeping it off.My husband and I are going to have a talk with her tommorrow morning.The man that supplied the beer and liqour is in jail for serving to minors,he was arrested on the spot.Husband and I are thinking of grounding her and not giving her a slap on the hand for it.She is going to pay the fine on her own,$60.00.

by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:05 PM
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:09 PM
4 moms liked this
ONLY $60??? Wow.... should be a couple hundred. $60 isn't much of a deterrant.

I would have her attend a youth AA meeting, even if she isn't a full alcoholic. I would also have her do some community service somewhere.
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luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:40 PM

Was this her first run with drinking? Is she normally a good kid? 

I've been there, no MIP cause she wasn't drinking, but still had to be picked up from the cops. We grounded her for a week, took her phone and no computers. She was on lock down and understood. That doesn't mean she liked it, she just understood.

We also explained that we were saddened by her choices and that out trust in her was broke. That was probably harder for her then any of the other stuff we did. We spoke again about drinking...I knew she had in the past or I should say suspected and let her know that until we felt we could trust her again she would be watched a little more closely. 



bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:49 PM
1 mom liked this
That's too bad, I'm surprised only the $60 fine? Doesn't she have a court date? Here she would go to court and at least have to attend an 8 hour drug and alcohol class (I work in a drug and alcohol treatment center). Also I would explain to her that this will now be on her record forever, even though she is a minor, they can always use it against her to prove a pattern/intent...also college applications can be in jeopardy...kids and many parents have NO idea how serious the consequences can be for an MIP...too many think it is just a citation like a speeding ticket.
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DarlaHood
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this

so sorry.  I can imagine it would be disappointing.  We always told our girls don't drink, but if you do drink, please, please, please don't drink and drive.  Just call.  Our oldest was 18 when she called one night for Dad to go get her cuz she couldn't drive.  When he drove up she was puking on the curb.  He brought her home, but we didn't ground her because she called.  She said it hadn't been a habit and wasn't going to make it a habit.  And that was true.  (She's 27 now, and no more incidents).  But it was a little different because your dd got caught and was compelled to come clean instead of calling for help.  I think the issue you would want to deal with is whether or not this is something she's doing as a pattern, or whether it was a more isolated incident.  And she def has to earn back your trust to have any freedom.  Trust = freedom in our house.  No trust = no freedom.  Good luck!

Tomom66
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 5:25 AM
Quoting luckysevenwow:

Was this her first run with drinking? Is she normally a good kid? 

I've been there, no MIP cause she wasn't drinking, but still had to be picked up from the cops. We grounded her for a week, took her phone and no computers. She was on lock down and understood. That doesn't mean she liked it, she just understood.

We also explained that we were saddened by her choices and that out trust in her was broke. That was probably harder for her then any of the other stuff we did. We spoke again about drinking...I knew she had in the past or I should say suspected and let her know that until we felt we could trust her again she would be watched a little more closely. 




Why did you punish your daughter so severely if she wasn't drinking.
I would think you would be proud of her for resisting the temptation.

Candice you're in a tough situation. I would definitely talk to your daughter and explain the severe consequences that can arise from drinking, even for adults. Then I would gauge her punishment according to how seriously she understands.
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jul. 7, 2012 at 5:30 AM
Your daughter is going to have to earn back your trust little by little.
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Momof3smoochies
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 5:39 AM
I think she'll really regret it in the morning with the hangover she's going to get.
phoenixallison
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 6:49 AM

she was drinking Tomom66 I think you misread.

Quoting Tomom66:

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Was this her first run with drinking? Is she normally a good kid? 

I've been there, no MIP cause she wasn't drinking, but still had to be picked up from the cops. We grounded her for a week, took her phone and no computers. She was on lock down and understood. That doesn't mean she liked it, she just understood.

We also explained that we were saddened by her choices and that out trust in her was broke. That was probably harder for her then any of the other stuff we did. We spoke again about drinking...I knew she had in the past or I should say suspected and let her know that until we felt we could trust her again she would be watched a little more closely. 





Why did you punish your daughter so severely if she wasn't drinking.
I would think you would be proud of her for resisting the temptation.

Candice you're in a tough situation. I would definitely talk to your daughter and explain the severe consequences that can arise from drinking, even for adults. Then I would gauge her punishment according to how seriously she understands.


OhGloria
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 7:39 AM

 Same thing happened to my son when he was 15.  I took away everything for a week and he had to go to our youth diversion program where he had to do 20 hours of community service. 

CDMelty
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 9:33 AM


Quoting phoenixallison:

she was drinking Tomom66 I think you misread.

Quoting Tomom66:

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Was this her first run with drinking? Is she normally a good kid? 

I've been there, no MIP cause she wasn't drinking, but still had to be picked up from the cops. We grounded her for a week, took her phone and no computers. She was on lock down and understood. That doesn't mean she liked it, she just understood.

We also explained that we were saddened by her choices and that out trust in her was broke. That was probably harder for her then any of the other stuff we did. We spoke again about drinking...I knew she had in the past or I should say suspected and let her know that until we felt we could trust her again she would be watched a little more closely. 





Why did you punish your daughter so severely if she wasn't drinking.
I would think you would be proud of her for resisting the temptation.

Candice you're in a tough situation. I would definitely talk to your daughter and explain the severe consequences that can arise from drinking, even for adults. Then I would gauge her punishment according to how seriously she understands.



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