Okay, so she's only come back home once since leaving, I guess she's not a "boomerang" child yet. But still.
My just-turned 19YO left for college last September. She already had 2 AAs after community college, starting when she was 16. Entered university and lived in an apartment for her first year there at barely 18.
A couple weeks ago, DH and I broke it to all the kids that we were mvoing. And Gracie (19DD) went into tears when we told her and begged to move with us, and live at home for another year or two. She was financially okay, she said, but just not ready to live alone.
I'm proud of her. I've had 5 kids move out the first time and none of them came back, I'm proud of them, but I'm proud of my one that did come back too. Many parents would consider it a burden when their formerly-independent child asks to move home again. They'd consider it a sign that they or the child had failed. We think of it as a success. We have raised a child who:
- Knows her limits. She didn't like living alone, so she got roommates for the year, but then the roommates moved on and she felt uncomfortable living alone. I'm glad she was honest about this and wouldn't force herself into a situation that scared her.
- Is able to understand her own maturity and readiness, or lack thereof.
- Would rather live with her parents than a boyfriend who offered to get an apartment with her, and wouldn't cave to something she wasn't ready for in a relationship.
- Loves and is bonded enough to her crazy, huge, chaotic family to voluntarily come home even with the means to live on her own.
Couldn't have asked for better than that.
Do you teach your kids that they can always come home, or is it sorry-charlie at 18?