See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
Im completely new to this site, but am needing some motherly advice, BADLY! This is kind of a long story, so brace yourself. But please read and maybe give advice if you can. Im at a complete standstill not knowing how to handle this. Im will try to explain in as short of detail, without leaving out the important stuff, as possible.
In November, my daughter (13) turned her father in for growing/selling marijuana. But also, before she did this, she told him she didnt like it in the home, and if he didnt quit, she was going to turn him in. He grabbed her by her arm and threw her across the living room and told her he would "Knock her f*ing teeth down her throat". Then he would go drop her off in the woods. (now, there are many, many more instances of abuse, ecspecially verbal) I did not know all of this until she told me, when she told the cops and DHS. Who both told me to keep her with me, not to go back. She filled out a PPO telling all of this and it was granted. It is in effect until November 2012. We set a court date and he WILLINGLY signed over any visitation with her before the judge even called us in the room. A week later, I was granted full physical/legal custody. I recently came to see my 6 year old daughter (who lives with her father), out of state and decided to petition the court to move my 13 year old so that all my kids can live together. I just found out today that her father, even after all this, is not only trying to fight me on moving, but is also trying to get custody!!!! I could barely believe it. But heres the kicker...... Unfortunately, due to his behavior/lifestyle, my daughter has never had a real relationship with her father(who wouldnt pick her up when she was little either, just never been there for her), and is now thinking that , maybe she wants to go live with him. Even after the drug use, abuse, etc. I understand that she is fishing for a relationship with him, and wants it more than anything, but this man is EXACTLY the same as when I met him 17 years ago. He smokes pot and plays video games....one of those! She is convinced that he will change and things will be better now. I've tried explaining that things will only be worse there now and that I love her and will fight til the death of me, to keep her away from it. I've even offered her supervised visitation with him, once the PPO is no longer in affect. But of course, I am now the bad person and she hates me. She is determined to have this relationship with him, that I, unfortunately, know is NOT going to happen. HELP!!!!! I dont know how to handle this, what to say to her, etc. Do I even need to worry that she might get a say in court, or will the judge simply look at the circumstances and not even ask her??? Im just so worried, and angry and sad! I dont want her hurt.....and ecspecially not again by him. Any advice would be helpful, even soothing. Im lost......